Today we’d like to introduce you to Carm Pileggi
Hi Carm, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
My personal experiences with grief and life challenges have steered me towards a career in counselling children and youth across diverse environments. I have been driven by a desire to provide the support my younger self needed in navigating anxiety and grief. So much of our culture, accessibilty to resources and how we’re raised influences how we express ourselves and what or who we connect to. I didn’t always have the tools I needed or safe spaces to express myself either. Seeing as how that influenced my development especially in navigating major losses in my life, I became committed to providing others with what I once needed and the space for them to safely and confidently express themselves. I consider myself a perpetual learner and a catalyst for breaking cycles. What began as a personal passion project several years ago aimed at fostering connections with fellow grievers has blossomed into an online community: Girls Gotta Heal (GGH). Losing a parent at a young age changes the way you see the world and leaves you feeling like you lost out on parts of childhood and adolescence that your peers thrived in. Losing my dad and several other significant figures in my life at such a young age felt isolating and difficult to process. It was hard for me to connect with people my age during those years and I suppressed a lot. That trickled into all areas of my life going forward, even as an adult until I was ready to start my own healing journey. I don’t want others to have to feel that way or go through that alone.
Through candidly sharing my journey with fertility preservation and undergoing laparoscopic surgery to remove a borderline cancerous tumour, which resulted in the loss of one of my ovaries just before my 25th birthday, I have expanded my mission. Creating a supportive space for individuals grieving parent loss has expanded to grief due to relationships ending, self-empowerment and navigating the challenges of reproductive health. My journey has not always been seamless or graceful which I always have been transparent about. Learning to lean into vulnerability, love myself through the layers of my grief and health issues, and my process of healing have turned into empowering others on similar journeys. It has also encouraged understanding and compassion for those who have loved ones going through loss or health issues.
Grief affects how you perceive yourself and the world. Life is full of possibilities, and it’s imperative to our growth to acknowledge that we all deserve to strive for a balance between living in the moment and finding joy while respecting our past, our lost loved ones, and the person we aspire to become. The course of our life can look differently than our peers. Grief and hardship can create roadblocks and a loss of time that can stunt our ability to have access to what we need to meet milestones. My mission is to empower women to embrace their journeys, seeing moments of challenge and loss as catalysts for growth towards a fulfilling life but firstly meeting yourself where you are at. Through story telling and entering spaces that welcome self-compassion, we are led to love ourselves a little more deeply each time we reconnect with those experiences. It gets easier over time and can inspire others to be courageous in connecting with themselves and those in their world by sharing experiences. By taking a risk years ago in opening up about my losses hoping to reach even one person, I have been lucky to continue to see that grow into impacting others through the GGH community in our peer support groups. Collectively, we can continue to create impact through our connection with others, but it always begins with and comes back to us; our inner peace and self-acceptance. I hope to continue to inspire others through my GGH content and tools and in my near future work as a registered psychotherapist (yay!).
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Throughout the pandemic, my focus was on establishing virtual support groups and nurturing connections with women across the world through shared experiences and self-help resources. I’ve also had to acknowledge my own journey and occasionally step back from creating content for GGH, organizing groups, and connecting as openly as I did prior. Pursuing further education to advance my career involved making sacrifices and temporarily pausing certain aspects of my life and GGH. Aligning my actions with my advice to the GGH community, I aimed to pursue my aspirations. While doing so, I continue to honour my lost loved ones including my dad, redirect focus to pressing matters like my health and family, challenge myself in new ways, and adjust to my evolving needs. Pivoting is an important part of life that I am growing to appreciate. Shifting my mindset to embrace moments of redirection and trusting my ability to move through them has helped in challenging fears and pressures I have felt about not meeting milestones or societal expectations. While my passion for creating and encouraging connection will always remain strong, it will naturally transform and manifest in unique ways as time goes on.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I am the founder and creator of Girls Gotta Heal. I have created content and encouraged connection through a community of incredibly moving individuals through support groups, social media content and self-help resources and tools. Girls Gotta Heal is rooted in life experience and professional knowledge. This space is unique because I share feelings and realities of real-life traumas, insecurities stemming from trauma and loss as well as, direction to tangible growth through daily practices to improving your mental health and relationships. Content is educational and although does not replace therapy, it offers easily accessible self-help tools promoting autonomy for those who are wanting to work on their personal development.
I am currently studying to become a registered psychotherapist and have been a child and youth practitioner for 7 years in Toronto, Ontario. Each of our experiences are so unique and deserve to be honoured. I have loved tailoring programming and treatment interventions to a wide range of individual needs and building relationships in these spaces. I am constantly wanting to evolve and enhance my skills so that I can best show up for others.
Running virtual women support groups has transitioned to creating self-help tools like the Girls Gotta Heal podcast, my published book, The Affirmation Journal for Women: Powerful Prompts to Transform Your Outlook on Life (available on Amazon and in bookstores) and the Connecting Through Grief card deck which can be purchased on the Girls Gotta Heal website. These creations have pieces of me within them and were once manifestations of what I wanted for my younger self. I’m proud of having these creations and part of me out in the world for others to incorporate into their healing journey.
What matters most to you? Why?
What matters to me most is human connection through all of life’s seasons. Leading with intentionality in these connections is a close second! Human connection has led me back to myself after some of the hardest points in my life including back to back losses and healing after surgery and procedures. You never forget the people who showed up for you at your lowest, lonliest, most ill and saddest times in your life. They reminded you of who you are when you couldn’t see it so clearly and that you were deserving of love, comfort and taking up space. These moments of kindness in connection reinforce the power of intentionality regardless of how much or what you are able to give or say, it’s that you showed up.
Being intentional with your word and how you show up in your connections leaves you with the peace of mind that you were clear and committed to what you wanted regardless of uncontrollable circumstances that impact the outcome. Ultimately, intentionality leads us to connecting to people, spaces and opportunities that align to who we are to our core and the future we are creating for ourselves. In my experience, when you lose something or someone very special, it shifts the way you value these connections and how you want to show up knowing you gave everything you could when you had it in your reach. Losing my dad at 18 and the grief I experienced with that entirely shifted the way I show up for the people in my life.
Our relationships evolve, including the one that we have with ourselves. I always try to remind people of that. Although change can feel intimidating and raise fears it also has the potential to launch us forward and add a beautiful chapter to our story. Connection has the power to create love, acceptance, fulfillment, validation and support. It can also be the very thing that creates pain and sadness when we lack it or lose it. I am a firm believer in taking risks in order to receive reward. That notion applies to seeking, forming and deepening meaningful connection as well. Sometimes it can feel like you’re taking a risk without a safety net and in other times, you feel so sure.
Connection demands courage. Many of us have experienced feelings of not being enough, abandonment and rejection at points in our life. This leap to connect can feel paralyzing and take time to work through. It is human nature to desire reciprocated intentionality, love and appreciation in a connection regardless of how freely we express it or our ability to receive and embrace it. In everything that I do, I want to leave people who come into my path feeling more connected to themselves and confident in believing that they are deserving of beautiful connections regardless of what their past experiences have left them feeling.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.girlsgottaheal.com
- Instagram: @girlsgottaheal
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/girlsgottaheal
- Other: https://girlsgottaheal.buzzsprout.com
Image Credits
Silvana Marshall