Today we’d like to introduce you to Alexandra Mosca.
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
I have a dual career in which I’ve been able to merge my passion for writing with my primary career as a funeral director. As I explained in a 2022 interview with Canvas Rebel, my journey into funeral service began unexpectedly during my college years when I started working part-time at a local funeral home. The job was only meant to help pay my way through school. However, my early experiences in the funeral home had a profound impact on me and, as time passed, I decided to enroll in mortuary school. That meant putting my dream of becoming a writer –my intended career path–on hold for a while.
After I completed my mortuary science studies, I was employed by a busy funeral home with three branches. My days were filled with transporting the deceased from hospital morgues, embalming, arranging funerals with families, and overseeing the burials. Despite the long hours and emotional toll of my job, it gave me a deep appreciation for the fragility and beauty of life—the same beauty and fragility reflected in cemeteries.
Early on, I learned some fundamental lessons: the importance of rituals, the profound need to say goodbye, the myth of closure, and the significance of a final resting place. In my interactions with bereaved families, it became clear that having a permanent place to visit is only second to the need to view the deceased. Through such observations, I saw a way to integrate my interest in writing with my role as a funeral director.
So, I began to write about cemeteries, underscoring in my articles how the serene sanctity of the grounds offers families a comforting space — whether it’s a grave, crypt, or cremation niche — to connect with a lost loved one. This truth is evident during visits to a cemetery, where one can see the holiday decorations thoughtfully placed at graves. Reading the epitaphs, each one a tribute that holds profound significance, further deepens the sense of connection, and the memorials serve as poignant reminders of the lives that once graced this earth.
My first published cemetery article was about Ferncliff Cemetery in New York’s Westchester County. The cemetery, known for its expansive community mausoleums adorned with stained glass windows, marble corridors, and Oriental rugs, houses the remains of an impressive roster of luminaries, many from the arts and letters communities. But what truly struck a chord with me was the tragic story of 24-year-old Judy Tyler, a promising young actress who was killed in a car accident along with her husband, actor Greg Lafayette’s. Tyler was cremated, and her bronze urn rests on a shelf above her husband’s crypt. Scores of cemetery profiles followed.
For over two decades now I have been a regular contributor to American Cemetery & Cremation magazine, chronicling my visits to some of New York’s most notable cemeteries with readers. I am also the author of two cemetery books: Green-Wood Cemetery and Gardens of Stone. In both books, I delve into the history and cultural significance of cemeteries, aiming to instill a sense of appreciation and respect for these places. Through the written word, I honor the famous and the forgotten alike, ensuring their stories will be preserved for future generations. As a result of the unique writing niche I’ve established for myself, I’ve become known as a chronicler of cemeteries, and am often sought out for my profiles and comments.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
The road to funeral service was not at all a smooth one. I chose to become a funeral director at a time when a female face was rare and, for the most part, unwelcome. Because so few women were visibly working in the funeral industry, there was a shortage of role models. But instead of being discouraged, the rejections I received while job-hunting only strengthened my resolve. I knocked on door after door until I finally found a funeral home willing to take a chance on me. It wasn’t easy being a woman in a male-dominated industry at the time, but I didn’t let that stop me. I was determined to prove that I was just as capable as any man, so I worked hard, learned everything I could, and proved myself every step of the way. And you know what? Eventually, my skills and dedication paid off. I earned my license, built a reputation for myself as both a writer and funeral director, and now run a successful funeral business of my own. My professional life is a blend of service and storytelling.
Nowadays, women are welcomed in funeral service, and I can’t think of many funeral homes that don’t have a female funeral director on their staff. In fact, a few funeral homes are entirely staffed by women. I hope I helped to pave the way.
Still, regardless of your life path, it’s never a smooth road. And would we want it to be? If it’s too easy of a road, we might not value our achievements as we should. I’m reminded of a quote by Thomas Paine: “That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly.”
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
What sets me apart is how I’ve been able to incorporate two careers that I am passionate about.
As a funeral director, I am responsible for arranging and conducting funerals. My duties also include preparing the deceased for visitation, which involves dressing, styling hair, and applying cosmetics. Although I am proficient in embalming, these days I only perform it when a female embalmer is specifically requested.
Throughout my years as a funeral director, I’ve witnessed the profound impact of rituals on bereaved families. This experience has taught me so much about their power and why they’re essential. The grief of the families I work with has often been palpable, and I’ve sometimes found myself struggling to find the right words to say. It is often at such times that I have had the opportunity to tell families more about the cemetery in which their loved ones will rest. I’ll share a bit of the cemetery’s history and significant interments, emphasizing that their loved one will now become a part of its illustrious past.
I have explored scores of cemeteries, some well-known and others tucked away in quiet corners of cities and towns. Yet, each visit reminds me that every person has a story. It’s the unexpected that often sparks my curiosity, leading to a new cemetery profile. Inspiration can come from anywhere, whether it’s the historical significance of the grounds, a moving epitaph, or a remarkable mausoleum. That’s what happened one cold January day when a flat tire diverted me into the nearest cemetery. There, I stumbled upon a recently built mausoleum, which contained a touching inscription penned by a heartbroken husband, and I knew I had found a compelling story.
One of the cemeteries I’ve written extensively about is Brooklyn’s Green-Wood Cemetery. Established in 1838, it is one of the world’s foremost historic cemeteries and the eternal home of individuals who have left an indelible mark on history. Among them are toymaker FAO Schwarz, piano maker Henry Steinway, jeweler Charles Tiffany, lithographer’s Nathaniel Currier and Merritt Ives, and a young woman named Charlotte Canda, whose life was tragically cut short on her 17th birthday in 1845 due to a carriage accident.
Canda’s marble memorial, which features a life-size effigy of her standing beneath a marble canopy and dressed in her birthday gown, became quite a tourist attraction in the 19th century. Almost 200 years later, visitors still flock to see her captured in time.
Calvary Cemetery, situated in Queens, New York, is one of the largest cemeteries in the United States. Many of those who came to America through Ellis Island are buried there. In fact, Anna Moore Schayer, the first person to pass through Ellis Island, is among the almost two million burials. Her story continues to be told, as do others of the hard-working men and women who toiled in relative obscurity. One of the most arresting sights in Calvary is the exquisitely detailed statue of 25-year-old Rose Furno. Unlike Charlotte Canda, little is known about Rose, yet as you pass by, her haunting eyes beseech you not to forget her. And, like Canda, has not been forgotten. Her grave is often visited by strangers who are curious about her life and the circumstances of her death. This underscores the significant role cemeteries play — a point that I aim to illuminate through my writing.
Is there a quality that you most attribute to your success?
Perseverance, determination, empathy, resilience, respect for tradition, and curiosity have all been important. But above all else, you must believe in yourself and your abilities. Otherwise, no one else will. I’ve seen this in my own life, where my determination to pursue my dual careers led to success. It wasn’t easy, but I kept pushing forward, and it paid off.
Today, I am where I’ve always hoped to be, combining my busy career as a funeral director with my career as a writer. Juggling these two careers has given me a unique perspective, one that has made my journey truly exceptional. It’s a journey I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Looking back, I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and I’m grateful for the support of those who believed in me when others did not. So, to all the young people out there with big dreams, don’t let your doubts hold you back. Keep pushing forward, fighting for what you want, and never underestimate the power of your determination. You never know where it might take you.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.alexandramosca.com
- Instagram: @themortegirls
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gardensofstonebyalexandrakathrynmosca/
- Twitter: @themortegirls
Image Credits
They all belong to me.