Today we’d like to introduce you to Dr. Frankie Bashan.

Hi Dr. Frankie, so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?

My story began at the age of 14 when I introduced my single father to my eye doctor. Growing up as an only child in New York City with divorced parents who both worked in the fashion industry, I learned to be resourceful and independent. My parents were busy professionals, often preoccupied with their careers, while I was a precocious kid navigating life mostly on my own.

One day, I decided to purchase green-colored contact lenses from a brilliant, educated, and beautiful Jewish optometrist on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. Seeing an opportunity, I prepped my father, sharing all the important details about her and encouraged him to ask her out. He did, and the rest was history—they were married for 25 years and had three children. That was my first successful match, and I had no idea it would set the stage for my future career.

From an early age, I was exposed to therapy as it mandated by family court given the intensity of my parent’s divorce, Through therapy I learned the value of self-reflection and deepening one’s understanding of themselves and others. In college, I initially pursued television, radio, and business, but my stint in television was cut short due to the rampant sexual harassment I faced—this was long before the #MeToo movement, and it was a challenging experience, to say the least. After graduating and completing internships with the Montel Williams show and Inside Edition, I decided to shift directions and pursue clinical psychology, enrolling in a program in Berkeley, California.

I spent the next decade deeply immersed in the study of human behavior and trauma, developing a profound understanding of what drives people and how they heal. However, by 2009, after years of intense healing work, I began to feel burned out. I knew I needed to pivot professionally. While I loved helping people heal, I craved something different—a way to use my gifts in a new, creative way.

After deep reflection, I decided to explore a career as a matchmaker—a term that was still largely unfamiliar at the time. I realized I had an innate gift for knowing which people would click and thrive together. I’d also frequently wished I could introduce my single therapy clients to each other but couldn’t due to ethical constraints. This inspired me to create something that leveraged my innate gift of creating authentic connections.

While working as a clinical psychologist in trauma at a large HMO, I moonlighted as a matchmaker for three years, all while raising my boy-girl twins. By the third year, I’d turned a small profit, enabling me to leave my job and work full-time for myself. That leap of faith paid off, and this year marks the 16th anniversary of Little Gay Book, a national company offering professional matchmaking, relationship coaching, and dating events across the U.S.

Life has a way of coming full circle. Although my early experience in television was marked by harassment that drove me away, it was meant to be part of my journey. Years later, producers at Lighthearted Entertainment and MTV found me through social media and hired me to help cast and match contestants for *Are You the One? Season 8*, the first-ever sexually fluid cast on national television. Currently, I’m working on a docuseries I hope to share with the world in 2025.

What has truly guided me to where I am today is the ability to recognize my gifts and align them with my passion for creating meaningful connections. I didn’t give up, even when my path was unconventional and often met with skepticism. Today, matchmaking is a recognized and respected profession, with shows like Indian Matchmaking and Jewish Matchmaking on Netflix, highlighting its growing relevance.

By leaning into what felt true to me, despite the odds, I’ve built a career and a life that reflects my passion for human relationships and quality connections.

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?

The road to success has been far from smooth. One of my earliest major challenges came during college when I was pursuing my dream of becoming a television host or anchor. At the time, the television industry was plagued by pervasive sexual harassment, and I couldn’t envision a way to achieve my goals without enduring demeaning and degrading experiences. This stark reality led me to pivot toward academia and the field of psychology—a path I deeply valued for its focus on understanding human behavior and creating meaningful impact. My decision was also influenced by my early life experiences, including growing up with a mother diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Psychology offered not only a meaningful career but also a safer and more stable environment where I could thrive without compromising my well-being.

Pursuing my doctorate in psychology came with its own set of hurdles, particularly the year-long statistics requirement. As someone diagnosed with dyslexia and ADHD at an early age, I knew this would be an uphill battle. I reminded myself that I could rely on tutors, retake tests, and find ways to overcome the challenge, no matter how daunting it seemed. Surprisingly, when I finally faced it head-on, I did better than expected, earning a B in the course. That experience taught me not to let the fear of failure deter me from pursuing a path that intrigued me, even when I knew it would be difficult.

After nearly a decade as a clinical psychologist, I discovered another challenge: burnout. While I valued the work and the impact I had on my clients, I realized I needed to find a new path. After much soul-searching, I decided to take a leap of faith and embrace the title of matchmaker—at a time when the profession was neither well-known nor widely understood. I believed deeply in my ability to connect people authentically and saw myself as a conduit for meaningful relationships.

That decision wasn’t without its obstacles. Many people were skeptical, dismissing the idea of matchmaking as unconventional or even laughable. I still remember someone laughing in my face when I shared what I did and disclosed my rates (which were a fraction of what they are today). They told me no one would ever pay for such a service. But I held onto my belief in the value I could provide and the lives I could transform.

These challenges, though difficult, taught me resilience and reinforced my commitment to following my instincts and passion, even when the road was rocky and filled with doubt from others.

We’ve been impressed with Little Gay Book, but for folks who might not be as familiar, what can you share with them about what you do and what sets you apart from others?

Little Gay Book is a premier matchmaking firm dedicated to helping single individuals in the LGBTQ community find meaningful and lasting connections. Our core values—professionalism, ethics, and integrity—guide everything we do. Whether through personalized matchmaking, expert coaching, or curated singles events across the U.S., our mission is to create exceptional experiences for professional singles seeking quality partners.

Our clients are accomplished, successful professionals who know what they want in a partner. They seek someone who complements their achievements and shares their values—someone who enhances their already full and vibrant lives, rather than completes them. Many of our clients value discretion due to their busy lifestyles or public profiles and prefer to avoid traditional dating apps. They trust us to handle the search, screening, and vetting process because of our expertise, selectivity, and dedication to finding their ideal match.

What truly sets Little Gay Book apart is our unique blend of experience and specialization. As the CEO and founder, I bring nearly two decades of matchmaking expertise along with the insights of a clinical psychologist. This background is rare in the matchmaking industry and provides our clients with a level of depth and understanding unmatched by most firms. Additionally, we are proud to be one of the first matchmaking firms in the world to focus exclusively on the LGBTQ community.

For over a decade, we specialized in representing women interested in women. Recently, we expanded our services to include gay men and transgender clients, offering a level of care and focus that most matchmaking firms, which primarily cater to heterosexual clients, simply don’t provide. Our all-female team is deeply passionate about helping LGBTQ individuals navigate the unique challenges of finding love.

I’m incredibly proud of the brand we’ve built—a brand synonymous with authenticity, excellence, and results. Our clients know us as relationship experts who go above and beyond to help them find their perfect match. That said, we’re selective about whom we work with. We only take on clients who are coachable and who we believe we can successfully match. If we’re unable to support someone directly, we make every effort to connect them with another trusted matchmaker or resource—whether they are part of the LGBTQ community or not.

At Little Gay Book, we’re more than just matchmakers; we’re passionate advocates for love and connection within a community that often faces unique obstacles in the dating world. It’s our privilege to help our clients find the exceptional relationships they deserve.

Can you talk to us a bit about the role of luck?

I’m not sure I truly believe in luck. I think we create our own luck through our choices, actions, and mindset. From an early age, I recognized my own agency, even if I didn’t have the words for it at the time. I wasn’t afraid to disrupt, to go against the grain if I felt strongly about something. It was this sense of empowerment that told me I could and would figure things out, no matter the odds. When I deeply believed in something, nothing was going to stand in my way. I’ve never been one to accept “no” as a final answer—if something didn’t make sense to me, it simply meant the conversation wasn’t finished.

My success didn’t happen by chance; it came from the time, intention, and effort I invested. I made thoughtful, deliberate choices, rarely acting impulsively. Instead, I approached life with a calculated risk mindset. The only element of “luck” I might acknowledge is being born with a strong personality and the resilience shaped by adversity. Growing up in New York City with a mother who had Bipolar Disorder and a father who was highly successful but often focused on his career taught me self-reliance and highlighted the importance of human connection.

During times when my parents were absorbed in their own worlds and I craved encouragement, it was my teachers and the parents of my friends who stepped in and showed me that I mattered. Those early relationships taught me to value human connection deeply and trust in the genuine care of others.

Ultimately, it’s the combination of adversity, resilience, and the relationships I’ve built throughout my life that have shaped who I am today. I wouldn’t be here without those experiences or the people who reminded me of my worth when I needed it most.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.littlegaybook.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lgbtq.matching
• Facebook: FB: https://www.facebook.com/littlegaybook/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drfrankiebashan/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/littlegaybook
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@drfrankiebashan
• Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/little-gay-book-oakland
• Other: https://www.instagram.com/drfrankiebashan/

Image Credits

Taryn Burkleo

www.photographybytaryn.com
https://www.instagram.com/tarynburkleo/