Today we’d like to introduce you to Lee Phillips

Hi Lee, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.

From Dancer to Doctor

I am a 45-year-old Caucasian queer male. I came out my junior year of high school. I was 16. It was scary because I grew up in the bible belt of Chesapeake, Virginia. There were churches all over the place, and kids at school were mean. I was bullied for being queer. I found peace in being a performer and a theatre nerd. I attended the Governor’s School for the Arts. I knew then I wanted to move to New York City and dance on Broadway. I could not wait to get the hell out of Chesapeake. I did not have sexual and dating experiences in high school. I focused on my grades and getting into college.

I came to New York City in 1998 at 19 to attend Marymount Manhattan College to pursue a career in acting. and dance. The city was different then. Some buildings didn’t resemble something from Star Wars. Nightclubs were everywhere, and people were hustling on street corners, trying to sell you drugs. The diners were packed in the early morning because people needed food to soak up the alcohol from partying all night. I worked as a bartender at a bar in Brooklyn and a dancer at the nightclub Tunnel. I left New York City at 21, right before 9/11, because I was a college dropout who still hadn’t found that career in acting.

Feeling defeated, I returned home to Chesapeake, Virginia, enrolled in college at Old Dominion University, and studied Communication. It was a broad field, and I could do something with the degree one day. Relationships fascinated me, so I focused on interpersonal communication in my undergraduate program. This led to me wanting to be a psychotherapist. I completed my Bachelor of Arts degree in 2004. I graduated with my Master of Social Work degree in 2008 from Norfolk State University. After I finished my master’s degree, I worked in outpatient community mental health before starting my doctorate program in December 2012. I continued to work full-time while pursuing my doctoral degree. I completed my Doctor of Education in Organizational Leadership with an emphasis in Behavioral Health in 2017 from Grand Canyon University. After graduating with my doctorate, I accepted a job working in behavioral health administration in Washington, DC. I was excited about moving to a new city but hated the job. I could push paper and look at spreadsheets all day, but I missed the clinical work.

Before the pandemic, I ditched the admin job and joined a group psychotherapy practice in Capitol Hill, where I saw individuals and couples. Before and during the pandemic, we lived in a 400-square-foot studio in Dupont Circle. My husband used the bathroom for his office, and his desk was the bathroom sink while I conducted my therapy sessions at our dining room table. To this day, I don’t know how we did it, but we did, and it only made us more intimate. I started my own virtual psychotherapy and sex therapy practice in March 2021. I missed New York City, and my husband loved it, so we moved to the Big Apple in June 2021. I opened my New York office in August 2021. My heart never left New York City, and I knew I would return one day, but I didn’t think it would be as a sex and relationship therapist.

I have a psychotherapy and sex therapy private practice in Manhattan’s Upper East Side. I see individuals, couples, and people in non-monogamous relationships. I am an LGBTQIA+ and kink-affirming therapist. I have over 15 years of clinical experience as a sex and relationship therapist. I treat a diverse group of adult patients aged 18 to 85. My clients describe me as funny, kind, compassionate, and honest. When discussing sex, having a sense of humor is essential because it is so difficult to talk about. The one thing someone does not want is to walk into a sex therapist’s office and tell them they can’t cum, and the therapist is sitting there looking too serious. People often come in feeling embarrassed, and my job is to get them to relax and feel comfortable. I love the work that I do as a sex and relationship therapist.

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?

There have been many struggles along the way. While working in the nightlife industry, drugs fueled it, and they were always there. I placed myself in risky situations and am lucky to be alive. But I have no regrets. Everything in my life has been a journey of growth.

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?

In my private practice in Manhattan’’s Upper East Side, I treat a diverse group of clients challenged by modern dating, sexual dysfunction, and the complexities of relationships. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in Washington, DC, Maryland, Virginia, and New York. I am a Certified Sex Therapist (CST) by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). I have been in private practice for over a decade, providing sex therapy to individuals and couples. I lecture on sex and couples therapy, therapy for LGBTQIA+ clients, reclaiming sexuality for couples with chronic illness, ethical non-monogamy, and exploring sexual communication, freedom, and pleasure for gender minorities with chronic disease, pain, and other disabilities.

As a recognized expert by the media, I have appeared on many podcasts and in publications such as Martha Stewart, Oprah Daily, Forbes Health, Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Allure, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, AskMen, Well + Good, Newsweek, and Best Life. I have published in the Journal of Baccalaureate Social Work, conducting a research study on LGBTQ-Affirmative Teaching at Historically Black Colleges and Universities: Understanding Program Directors Views. I am an adjunct instructor with the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute and Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. I hold a Doctor of Education (Ed.D.) degree in Organizational Leadership with an emphasis in Behavioral Health from Grand Canyon University in Phoenix, AZ.

I am writing my first book, Better Dating, Better Mating: How to Get Curious About Your Lover and Creative with Your Sex, which helps people gain awareness of how to experience joy and pleasure with their body and their partners and to remove anxiety and pressure by developing self-confidence in making dating fun and discovering ways to create the ideal relationship. I live in New York City and can be found online at www.drleephillips.com.

Is there a quality that you most attribute to your success?

I love to laugh, and I am kind. Kindness and humor are free, and they are medicines in our lives.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.drleephillips.com
• Instagram: drleephillips
• Facebook: Dr. Lee Phillips

Image Credits

2nd photo: Patrick McMullan