Today we’d like to introduce you to Cindy Toledo

Hi Cindy, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?

I became widowed suddenly at the age of 57 when my husband died from a sudden heart attack. Immediately I was thrust into a life I was unprepared for. That very night as my family and church family were gathered in our living room, people were praying and someone began to sing “Amazing Grace”. In the midst of that, I heard the voice of God saying: “I will give you all the strength you will need, I will give you peace like you’ve never known and I will give you hope for your future.” Those promises did give me strength to face each day. It was just three weeks after Mike died that I found Modern Widows Club online. The Founder, Caroline Moor widowed for 11 years had begun to invite widows into her home monthly. The website was a blog and the first article was called Crooked Crown, Crooked Heart. The words jumped off the page, particularly one sentence that said you’ve been chosen for this journey. I needed to know there was a reason for this horrific event in our lives. I began to email Carolyn and she was gracious enough to respond by mentoring me via email. Six months later I flew to Orlando from Seattle and attended one of her monthly gatherings and a couple of small workshops she was leading. I left knowing that I wanted to start a chapter in Seattle. I wanted to have a place where widows could come, connect, be encouraged and begin to thrive not just survive. I began inviting widows into my home in 2013 and have been serving widows ever since. The interesting thing is that on my 50th birthday, my Mother who was a faith-filled woman came to me and said: The Lord has told me you will be in a healing ministry.” Seriously, I all but rolled my eyes because it held no significance to my life at all. In 2014 just 10 years later as I was preparing for a first anniversary celebration for our Modern Widows Club group I was recounting and thinking about all of the “healing” I had seen that year. All of a sudden for the first time in 10 years I remembered what my mother had said. I had to pull my car over because I was just overcome with emotion to know my Mom’s prophecy had come true. While I never would have wanted Mike to die, I would not want to miss what I’ve experienced because of his death. I always wondered what my real purpose was in life. I knew I was a kind person but always wondered what I was really here for. I no longer wonder, I know that I am here to serve widows, to encourage them to lean into life build resilience, and make a positive difference

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?

No, it hasn’t been a smooth road. After my husband’s death, I was faced with losing my home. His death was sudden, he was self-employed and it was during the financial downturn when real estate values had dropped drastically. Without his income, I was not able to sustain. Just trying to get up every day was a challenge. Facing each day when every hope and dream we had was no longer a possibility What no one realized is that you not only lose your life partner, but you also have numerous secondary losses. I always say that every facet of your life is affected, At every turn you are faced with the loss. The grocery shopping can bring you to your knees when you are walking down the aisles and there is no reason to buy his favorite foods, the laundry, the two toothbrushes on the counter – every single thing in your life is affected and feels like a loss. The Holmes and Rahe stress survey says that losing your spouse is the #1 life stress at 100 points. All of the secondary losses, loss of friends, loss of finances, loss of health, etc. just add to that cumulated stress making even more stress and often health issues. Another challenge is the brain fog that happens in widowhood. You honestly feel like you are losing you mind, because you are just unable to think straight, remember and so often are not able to make good decisions.

Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?

For most of my life, I have worked as an office manager and bookkeeper. When my husband died I was working for my church in that role. I had lots of experience leading groups, planning retreats, etc. It was just under two years after Mike’s death that I began leading a Modern Widows Club community here in my area. Because of my experience, it came naturally to me. I continued working in my church for an additional 7 years while also leading the MWC group. When I left my job at the church I was semi-retiring. In 2020 I became the Program Support Manager for Modern Widows Club. My role is to support all of the community advocate leaders in the United States. I love people, I love being in relationships and I love making a difference. I’ve been told I am the heart of the organization. I’m not sure about that but I do know that I deeply care about people and connection. I love watching a widow come into our community, lost and not sure how to move forward, and then seeing them begin to heal, grow, and then lead their lives in vibrant ways and ways they never thought they could.

We all have a different way of looking at and defining success. How do you define success?

Success to me is living with purpose, and accomplishing what you set out to do. As I am approaching a more interesting age I hope to always be making a difference in whatever way that I can. My motto that I try to live up to is “Love, God, Love People”. If I can do that well then I consider that success.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://modernwidowsclub.org