Today we’d like to introduce you to Stefani Cohen

Hi Stefani, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?

I grew up in Connecticut surrounded by lots of animals – guinea pigs, cats, dogs and I was fortunate to have my own horse. My family life was turbulent with my parents divorcing when I was eight, and my mother remarrying a surgeon, who was also an alcoholic. My father also remarried. She was a widow who had three children of her own and both my sister and I felt like we had been replaced even though we did see him frequently. My father got stomach cancer, possibly from being in Japan right after WWII and he succumbed to the disease while I was a freshman in college. He was in an elite Army intelligence unit that learned to speak Japanese and he was charged with talking Japanese soldiers out of caves. He most likely was exposed to radiation after the bomb was dropped. I am incredibly proud of his service and bravery.

During that time, the 60’s and early 70’s, hardly anyone got divorced and almost no one mentioned the “C” word. I felt let down by the adults in my life but the animals were always there for me. I credit them with providing me the stability that my family did not. I went to school for social work and became a child/family psychotherapist so I could help others navigate difficult situations in a way I was not helped.

When my daughter announced she was afraid of dogs, at the age of five, I didn’t understand it because dogs had always provided me with a safe and special place. There were no resources to help me help her. However, together with my sister, Cathy Malkin, we intuitively helped Becky face her fear of dogs. With the help of Cathy’s wonderful and well trained dog, KC, we did exposure therapy without really knowing it.

Over the years and with the help of my dogs, I have helped numerous children formally and informally learn to feel safe with dogs. About 5 years ago, I realized I had developed a 10 step protocol which I now call the OFOD – Overcoming Fear of Dogs Protocol and decided to put it all in a book – Overcoming Your Child’s Fear of Dogs: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents. In essence, Cathy and I wrote the book I wish I’d had to help my daughter way back then.

I’m excited to announce that I’ve recently completed an activity book for kids to face their fear of dogs – How to Face My Fear of Dogs. It should be available soon!

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?

Once I decided to become a social worker/psychotherapist things fell into place. I also did some teaching at preschools when my kids were little which gave me lots of experience with young children which has helped in my private practice with parents and kids. My husband didn’t grow up with animals and claimed not to be a “dog person” so it took me 19 years to convince him we needed a dog. I told him people who have dogs live an average of 10 years longer (that may or may not be true but he bought it!) Also, I really wanted my children to have the experience of growing up with a dog. I’m happy to say he is now a “dog person” three times over.

Once we had our own dog (my daughter Becky was no longer afraid of dogs!) I started incorporating him into my sessions with kids. It is amazing how much kids will open up when they’re petting or brushing a dog. Mugsy and I became a registered therapy dog team and also did some very rewarding volunteering. Together we worked at a children’s rehab center with a little girl who had had a stroke. Her right side was weak but she got stronger by brushing and petting and walking Mugsy. Fozzie and I helped a toddler take her first steps after the physical therapists didn’t know what else to do. The child was resistant and a little fearful to walk, so I walked Fozzie a few steps in front of her and she was so interested in catching him she actually walked!

Along the way I met lots of kids, and some parents, who were afraid of dogs. My dogs and I have helped them feel more comfortable with dogs. I was doing exposure therapy although it was still informal. Over the years my methods crystalized and I decided to write the book so others could benefit from my methods. My main regret: I wish I had written it years ago.

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?

I’m an LCSW psychotherapist specializing in parent education and child development. I’ve also developed a niche of helping people who are afraid of dogs. This work combines my mom hat, my professional experience and my love of dogs.

As far as I know, there are very few people who do what I do. I have been contacted from all over the world asking me if I know anyone who can do exposure therapy with a real dog in their neck of the woods. For people who are not local I will do a zoom session and discuss their fear: how it started, etc. and help them find a suitable dog and supportive adult to help them on their journey of facing their fear of dogs. For people who are local in the New York City area we also do a zoom before the exposure sessions start. I do this so I can get more information and establish trust. A large part of what I do is educational. We are often afraid of things we don’t understand, so I help my clients learn to read “dog” so they can tell when they are safe with a dog. Dogs communicate with their bodies so I show pictures of dog body language illustrating friendly relaxed dogs and also dogs that might be scared, anxious or not interested in interacting with a person. We also practice coping skills when people afraid – mindfulness, deep breathing, self talk, etc.

Can you talk to us a bit about happiness and what makes you happy?

I’ve had a lot of loss in my life but truly try to find the positive whenever I can. I used to be much more negative about things but once I learned about gratitude (thank you Oprah) I feel happier and try to look for the “lessons” that life throws me. Growing up in a stressful, dysfunctonal family I dreaded holidays, birthdays etc because they almost always ended with screaming and yelling on the part of the adults. Everyone in my family has been divorced at least twice (!) but I am thrilled that I am still happily married. My husband and I and seem to have modeled a healthy relationship for our kids and now grandchildren. This makes me happy and I hope that cycle is now broken.

Professionally I feel great joy whenever someone who has been too afraid to interact with a dog is able to be near a dog without panicking. Most people end up petting the dog and that is the cherry on top! The relief and pride they feel is palpable and I feel honored to be a part of it.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://Overcomefearofdogs.com
• Instagram: Overcomefearofdogs
• Facebook: Overcome Fear of Dogs
• Other: https://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Your-Childs-Step-Step/dp/1662900198

Image Credits

I own the rights to all the images