Today we’d like to introduce you to Stacey Stevens
Hi Stacey, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
My story begins when I was 15 years old and made the decision to leave home for no reason other than falling in with the wrong person. I had a good life and a good family. We wanted for nothing. My parents did the absolute best they could.
I was young, stupid and easily influenced. I thought I knew better when in fact I couldn’t have been more wrong. I remember when I left telling my dad, I would show him; “one day I will be a lawyer”. I spent the next few years learning how to survive. I found places to live and jobs to support myself while at the same time making sure I stayed out of trouble and in school. Because I had something to prove and I knew that you don’t get into law school without at least a high school education.
After a few years, I reunited with my family and we moved on. I became a receptionist at a law firm and went to night school to further my education so I could work as a law clerk/paralegal.
I am proud to say that at the age of 37 with 2 teenage boys and. High school diploma, I was accepted into law school. I graduated 3 years later and am now the senior female partner at my firm
Most would think this would be enough but its not . As a female lawyer, I have experienced the challenges of not just working but excelling within a patriarchal profession that is steeped in tradition. I have learned what it is like to not fit in and feel like I belong. I have a lifetime of skills and strategies that helped me achieve this.
Over my carer I have seen a number of women lawyers rise to the top but sadly, a far greater numb of women give up and leave the profession citing anxiety, depression and burnout from trying cope in workplaces that demand more from women than their male colleagues and often fosters a competitive toxic environment.
So now I am starting a new chapter in my story. I am an award wining inspirational speaker/mentor to women lawyers. I help them develop the skills and strategies they need to have an empowering identity and strong self narrative so they no longer need to compromise themselves in order to fit into a traditional profession that was never designed for the “non-traditional” people like me.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
No, it was not a smooth road at all and yes, I had many struggles along way. If I had to sum it up, my biggest challenge was never fitting in; never having a sense of belonging.
When I left home, I was the “only”. The only student without a family, the only person without a support system, the only girl who was on her own. When I started law school, I was the only student without an undergraduate degree, 2 teenage sons, driving 4 hrs each day and most certainly the only student who almost lost everything when I was wrongfully accused of serious criminal acts just before I was granted my law license.
Fighting to prove my innocence and save my admission to the Bar was the biggest challenge I ever faced. I had worked for 25 years to finally be able to say that despite all odds; I did it. I became a lawyer and I stood at the doorstep of losing it all.
It was where here I needed to rely on the personal growth skills and resiliency I learned over the years to find my way through the negative voice in my head that was constantly telling me I was never good enough to be a lawyer; that I had been fooling myself all these years. It wasn’t just the voice, I also had to face into the personal and professional scrutiny my life was put under because of this.
It took all of my will to survive and succeed!!
I can now add to my “only” list that I am the first person to be given a law license by my professional bar with serious criminal charges pending. Those charges were ultimately found to be baseless and withdrawn
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
I practice personal injury law and help people and their families recover from serious injuries and redefine where they see their own lives going.
I am also a speaker/mentor for high achieving women. I am passionate about sharing my story and helping them understand that to succeed in their profession doesn’t mean you have to conform to everyone else’s expectations.
Law, for example, remains a very patriarchal profession. Studies show that even though more than 50% of the graduating law classes are women but 30% leave within 7 years of practice. The main reason is anxiety, depression and burnout. The women who stay continue to face gender inequality, micro aggressions and stereotyping. While only 21% of women lawyers reach partnership it’s not without a cost. We lose our identity struggling to live up to an impossible standard. Our personal lives are negatively impacted. We are exhausted and stressed. Trapped by our own desire to raise to the top of our profession.
Until we come into our own and realize that conformity and conditioning doesn’t work anymore. It’s at that point we can make the decision to move through our life based on what works for us.
Success starts with identifying your own values, beliefs and standards. You learn how to rewrite your story and reframe the narratives that you have blindly accepted without question. This is especially true when you are part of a profession where everyone is judged on the words they say/write, where perfection is the standard and competition, criticism and comparison is an everyday occurrence.
My Story and what I have accomplished against all odds is what sets me apart.
My Mission is to guide high achieving women through their own journey to discover life without conformity and help them live their lives on FIRE…fulfilled, inspired, resilient and empowered 🔥
What has been the most important lesson you’ve learned along your journey?
The most important lesson I learned is to never let anyone define who you are.
You see, so often women remain trapped by the circumstances of our past. We are raised to be good girl, not talk back, sit quiet and look pretty. As we grow up we struggle to find identity as we get caught up in societal pressures. When we move into adulthood our identity shifts again as we assume the role of caretaker, wife and providers. We experience a loss of self.
I know I certainly did. For years who I thought I was and the value I had to offer was dictated by others. My past decisions haunted me and quite often were the reasons I could have relied on to just give up on my goals but I found ways not to let my past dictate my future
If I had let the words, actions and opinions of others define me; I wouldn’t be WHO and WHERE I am today!
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