Today we’d like to introduce you to Abigail E. Penner

Hi Abigail, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?

When I was a little girl, I’d always draw with my dad. He’s an artist, too, and he taught me pretty much everything I know in terms of technical skill. As I grew into girlhood and eventually womanhood, I used those skills to interpret the vast amount of feelings inside of me.

Growing up in a very small town, I didn’t have very many friends. I was bullied horribly and there was really only a couple outlets for me: drawing and playing music. While my home and my family were always a safe space for me, pretty much everywhere else in my hometown felt volatile. My art teacher and my band instructor were two of the only people in that town that nurtured me the way a little girl should be nurtured.

I pursued both art and music after high school, taking a major in Fine Art while playing the cello for the Omaha University Orchestra. I’d say one of my biggest regrets is when I stopped playing the cello, but to be honest I was pretty mediocre at it and to this day I can’t keep rhythm to save my life. So I pursued art full steam ahead. Which is good, because I had a lot of work to do.

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?

TW: suicidal ideation

I definitely wouldn’t say it’s been a smooth road. From the get, all of my art has been incredibly emotionally charged. I feel like any time you’re working off pure emotion, it’s bound to get messy.

I would say the most obvious struggle in my journey has been my health. I’ve always been sick. Just racked with joint pain and fatigue and mental illnesses that take over for months at a time. The arthritis started when I was about three years old, so I’ve never known what it’s like to be without pain for more than bits and pieces at a time. You hear people say “You can’t miss what you’ve never had”—but you sure can *grieve* what you’ve never had. In the past six months, I’ve been trying to unravel my illnesses and my *self.* They’ve been so intertwined for so long, and to an extent, I’ve identified as a person in pain and a person who struggles. I didn’t see myself or my art outside the scope of “being sick.”

I’ve always said, “I dropped out of college because I was in too much pain for the course load”—which is absolutely true. I was dealing with horrible pain in my hands and my back; it was so bad that I had to use my mouth to finish several paintings in my third year of school. But if I’m being totally honest with you and with myself, I also dropped out of school because I really fucking hated school. Parts of me think that being in pain was a “convenient” excuse to “take a break” (I.e. leave and never go back), and parts of me knows that I really did do the best thing for my health, both physical and mental.

In every year of school from 2007-2018, there was never a point where I didn’t want to die. There was never a point where I looked in the mirror and felt proud of myself for what I was doing. There were points where I forced myself to do things that would make other people proud, or God proud. There’s the other DEFINITELY NOT SMOOTH part…Catholicism. I’d make paintings that I thought “this will help get me into heaven because I’m doing this painting for God”—literal thoughts I had. I didn’t even like the painting I was making lmao. I thought that my suffering was going to unite me with Christ one day, and then the pain would end. I just had to draw a bunch of 19 year olds who laid their life down for the Eucharist and then one day, my hands and my back would feel better. Of course, that didn’t happen, and I did end up dropping out. However, I didn’t end up leaving the church until 2021. Look, it’s lot to unpack.

After dropping out, I kind of was like…”welp kiddo, figure it out I guess.”—which was actually maybe the smoothest part of the journey. I did what felt right, and it did somewhat fall into place. But I think I just got really goddamn lucky with my community. At this point, I had been dating my now husband for about a year. I was working at my favorite coffee shop and living with my brother/best friend. I was surrounded by people that wanted to see me do well and I was free from a setting that always made me feel like shit (school). I wouldn’t say it was easy by any stretch, but everything felt a little bit lighter.

I like how I’m saying “I’m trying to separate myself from my illnesses” but it’s still the first thing I talk about. It’s so bizarre. I think for the first time in a really long time, maybe EVER, I’m seeing things clearly. I started an anti-depressant and I left a faith that trained me to be a certain way my entire life, and it’s just like…yeah NOT smooth. But not bad. I just think being alive is so incredible and the fact that I’m still sitting here typing this with a beautiful fluffy cat on my lap is so amazing.

This is definitely not my most eloquent answer.

Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?

I make illustrations and write words that I feel all the way down to my gut. I love to make traditional illustrations with graphite and pens, but I also love making functional merchandise for all bodies. I make size inclusive clothing with my drawings plastered on them and also high quality, locally sourced wares for self and home.

It’s hard to say what I’m most proud of, but I think one of the things I’m most proud of is my denim jackets. I have such a deep love for a high quality denim jacket that ages with you. I’m so lucky to have friends in the industry that knew what I was looking for and helped me find it. I was able to get these in sizes XS-5X; I had my friends embroider my illustration on the back, and I’ve been selling them since 2021. I’ve done three different styles and there’s only one style remaining on my site because the other two sold out! I love to do limited edition runs of things, so when this style sells out, I’ll be making a new denim jacket to keep the tradition alive.

I think what sets me apart from others is that I’m just a little freak. I’m just a little weirdo. I don’t separate my personal life from my business profiles. Wise? Who knows. I like that people get to see all of me; I want them to know me the way they know my art. I want them to know where it comes from. I want them to know my sister and my husband. I want them to know my cats and my terrible dog. I want them to see me take time to make my coffee in the morning, and I want them to see me struggle with myself. Being a human being is so devastating, but it’s a lot better when you’re not doing it alone. I think that me being my art is just as important as me selling my art. It’s all very honest. And if there’s one thing I know about myself, being honest outside of drawings can be really hard. I’m not like a liar or anything, but it’s hard to understand how I’m feeling until I’m looking at a sheet of paper writing “MY GOD! WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO TURN THIS SADNESS OFF!” —because then I can look at that drawing and those words and be like, “Yeah—that’s exactly what I’m feeling.” And it turns out a lot of people also feel that.

What’s next?

Okay so loaded question.

Silly answer that’s semi-serious: I want to live right outside Lincoln, NE and have some land. I’ll have a couple goats, six chickens, maybe a donkey, and FOR SURE a tiny pony. I literally texted my husband a couple weeks ago and said, “I don’t care if I have to work 18 hour days and draw from sun up to sun down, I want a tiny pony.”

More seriously though, I am getting into wholesale! I’m making a profile on a site called Faire, where boutiques and small businesses can find me and order my merch for their brick & mortars. So that’s exciting!

This year we decided to try to do things a little differently, and we’re still playing around with it, so I’m hoping my customer base sees that we’re just trying new things and that they stick with us. We are trying to do 2 drops a month instead of one to keep the shop stocked and rotating with new stuff more frequently. This is a massive shift for us, since my husband and I are the only people working for me. It’s more website updates (which is what my husband does), more packaging (which is what my husband does), more photos and videos (which is what my husband does), and way more drawings (which is what I do). Don’t worry, I pay him. Being a small business is really hard, but like I said previously, I’m super lucky to have the community that I have! If I didn’t have them, idk I’d probably go back to school and be miserable.

Another great joy that 2024 has brought has been markets GALORE. I used to only do one or two a year, but this year I’ve done several and I’ve got several more coming up. There’s a music festival in Omaha this year called GRRRLCamp and it’s…lit. I literally cannot believe that I get to be a vendor at such a cool event. Four of my favorite musical artists are on the bill and I get to just….be there? Slay.

Pricing:

• Commissions start around $300
• Prints start at $20
• Accessories start at $12
• Apparel generally starts at $40

Contact Info:

• Website: https://abigailep.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/abigailepenner
• Facebook: https://facebook.com/abigailepenner
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX2x27N_vhkFJcu8w9wTD6Q
• Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@abigailepenner?_t=8nWlpbqFzeI&_r=1

Image Credits

Photographs by Cam Penner and Lauren Farris