We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Ethan Feider a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Ethan, appreciate you joining us today. Are you happier as a creative? Do you sometimes think about what it would be like to just have a regular job? Can you talk to us about how you think through these emotions?
My story is that of massive ups and downs. I had always known that working as an artist would be my highest calling from a very early age, but I wrestled with whether or not that passion was legitimate or just wishful dreams for a very long time. For that reason, I have found myself working Jobs that are FAR from what I want to be doing, and never have I been more depressed and unhappy in my whole life. Often when I would fail in doing something that I wanted to do, I would punish myself by doing something I didn’t, rather then get over that failure and use it as lesson. The result is 3 separate jobs as a pizza boy, and 4 miserable years in the military. Not that there is anything wrong with those jobs, just that I am not meant for them. So my advice to anyone would be that if you feel a calling in your heart to do something, then do it and don’t give up. It’s a simple thing we’ve all heard before but worth your entire life when put it into practice.
Ethan, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
As I mentioned before, I have worked in the arts from a very young age (starting sometime in elementary school, putting on lunch brake plays for my fellow students). I pride myself on being extremely adaptable and flexible as an artist, and I’m constantly trying to push the boundaries of how my life blends with what I do as an artist and how my work is seen and influenced by society and my audience. You could consider me a bit of a radical, consistently challenging the forms of traditional art. For this reason, I have a found a niche in immersive and interactive horror theater. A company I often work with called Witch Hunt Theater (based in Portland Oregon) does just that; immersive, site specific, horror theater. This has by far been the most gratifying work I’ve done. However, I strongly believe in community involvement and support as well. And so I make massive efforts to involve myself in non for profits within my community such as StageworksNorthwest Theater, which I am the house manager for. I am also working with another Portland based company: The Stage Fright Festival company, where we do a 2 week long festival in October, chalk full of spooky shows! Other projects I do often involve my personal friends and artists in film such as; Drake Dalgleish and his production company of the same name, Joe Rohrbach with Darkfire Productions and Dave Aslin with Crazy Like a Fox Entertainment, as well as many other indie producers. With all of this I maintain a busy schedule but I am always seeking A new adventure with other artists and companies. At the moment I’m incredibly excited to be a part of The Face Of Horror competition, which is a major opportunity for up incoming artists to get an opportunity to do some professional work. Check my page out and vote for me! And finally, I’m getting ready to make preparations to publish my first poetry book!
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
When I first got out of highschool I was going to join the Marine Corps, this was mainly because someone I loved very deeply was also joining and I wanted nothing more than to be with them (typical teenager), at the time I had very little understanding of myself. I was kicked out for smoking Marijuana before I even was sent to boot camp. For some time after that I worked as a pizza boy, falling in and out of love, never truly listening to my deepest passions. But one day I found my chance; The American Academy of Dramatic Arts, a prestigious acting school in Hollywood California. I auditioned and got in, not a year later I dropped out because I partied and slept around more than I studied. Shortly after that I rejoined the Marine Corps, went to boot camp and joined a reserves unit for about 4 years, where I also worked as a pizza boy again in the civilian sector. It was the worst 4 years of my life. One mental brakedown later, I was discharged again for smoking weed, got a full diagnosis with BPD, and came out as pansexual, Non-binary and trans. It took me nearly 22 years to realize that the only way I’d be happy was if I accepted myself and only did work that validated my existence, rather than slodge away my soul in something I find no passion in. After all of that, I finally found work in the industry through being the house manager at StageworksNW, which allowed me to find more work in Portland and the rest has yet to come!
What do you think is the goal or mission that drives your creative journey?
A quote: “good art disturbs the comfortable and comforts the disturbed” I cannot remember who said that but when I first read it, it disturbed me and stuck with me. I believe we live in an age where it is far to easy to slide into a monotonous, miserable life of appeasing corporations, meeting ridiculous standards in exchange for human dignity and working away our lives just to survive. Passion and love is being sucked from our existence and it is those in the highest echelons of power that are doing it. And so, with my work, I aim to strike fear into the hearts of the privileged and provide a little entertainment for those who don’t have nearly as much. I hope only that we can all rise together into a state of beautiful harmony and rejoice in being thrilled and catharticly effected.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @not_that_smart
Image Credits
Beau Hamilton, A. Stephenson, esp agency, sdf collective, Max Hinz