We recently connected with Harper Allen and have shared our conversation below.
Harper, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. Do you wish you had waited to pursue your creative career or do you wish you had started sooner?
I had my first major song placement when I was 19. A song I had co-written with Joleen Belle and Joachim Svare was in a Netflix original series; the soundtrack to which was number 1 on iTunes right above Hamilton (for 3 wonderful days).
The day I got the call I was the happiest I had ever been. I ran around my backyard screaming with my mom. I bought a cake from the store and ate it with my hands. The world was right and just and every rejection was instantly justified.
Then, unfortunately….the next day came.
I rotted in bed. I still wanted to die.
How was I going to top this?
What if it was a fluke?
Do I still have to go back to the studio tomorrow? I’m just so tired.
Shortly after this placement, my five-year high school relationship ended.
This led to a manic episode, in which I ran away to SF to sleep on my friend’s friend’s floor, and play a strategic game of whack-a-mole with various vices (drugs, sex, alcohol, food, etc.). I eventually came home and registered at an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP). All in all, my guitar collected spiderwebs in my closet for 9 months.
When things had calmed (with the help of mood stabilizers of course) I couldn’t believe how behind I had fallen. Friends had blown up on TikTok, collaborated with idols, graduated from USC Thorton, sold out venues I love, etc.
The music industry loves an ingenue (I stole this from Taylor and Phoebe ofc). Even worse, LA in particular has a sinister way of making you feel ancient at any age.
I felt like I had a late start at 19, and now I was 23, basically the crypt keeper. Everyone around me had achieved my dreams while I sat in a grey office building off Sepulveda using broken crayons to draw my feelings and breathing in second-hand vape juice.
This story has a lovely ending though.
After this interview, I’m going to the studio as I do most days, and I am excited! I’m not tired. I’m not depressed. I don’t want to drive into traffic.
I was not okay at 19. My dedication to music was a thin band-aid for a chronic and often crippling battle with bipolar.
I could have ignored it like so many people do. I could have adhered to the ungodly hours and grind expected for “success.”
But I didn’t, and I am infinitely grateful I got my real footing in music later than I wanted. I’m grateful for the time I spent healing, and for the stability I have because of it.
My work is a product of love and curiosity now, not a flimsy attempt at superficial happiness. I would like to think it shows.
Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.
My name is Jillian Harper Allen, I am a professional singer and songwriter.
I’ve been writing music for over ten years, professionally for five. My freelance work in kid’s TV & soundtracks, as well as for independent artists/bands has amassed over 30 million streams. My original work in the Netflix original series Julie and The Phantoms was part of the soundtrack that debuted at #1 on the iTunes album chart and was part of the team that wrote the main theme for Nickelodeon’s Side Hustle.
After several years of writing for various shows, artists and bands, I am finally releasing my own music under my own name (Harper Allen). There is a specific skill set and magic that comes with songwriting for others. It takes a lot of creativity and collaboration to bring an idea to life that is true to you, the performer, and their audience.
That being said, the freedom to write openly about the very unappealing parts of my life in a specific way has been liberating and wonderful. I currently have three songs out, most an exploration into love experienced through the lens of mental health (and a distrak, that one stands on it’s own though…}
I plan to continue a successful career in pop music primarily, both as an artist and a songwriter.
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
I suppose steal the answer from my pannel response (possibly made that one a bit too long).
Is there mission driving your creative journey?
I suppose it’s similar to what most other creatives (and humans) want. I would like to feel understood. I would like someone to hear my music and feel like something inside of them has been captured in a way they couldn’t themselves.
Sometimes if I sit for long enough, and I sift through enough bad poetry and crappy chords, I will say or play something that is ACCURATE. Accurate to a situation, a relationship, a feeling, etc.
I want to find that over and over again and present it to the world. I want my music to make some other 24-year-old girl feel the way I felt when I heard “Landslide” for the first time.
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