We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Asha Miller a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Asha , thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Let’s jump back to the first dollar you earned as a creative? What can you share with us about how it happened?

I was just 11 when I sent in my first poem to be published by a magazine. I was a young immigrant girl, filled with the dreams of her ancestors and her own dreams as well.
My dreams of becoming a writer began as far back as I can remember.
I have journals filled with awful rhyming poems, a few good ones, meaningful thoughts about life and my faith in God, and odes to the boy who happened to catch my eye at the moment!

Nothing could’ve prepared me for when my mom told me, at 11 years old, that I couldn’t get paid for that first poem when the magazine asked to publish it.
“We don’t have our permanent residence papers yet, Ash. We’re still in the process. We’ve spent thousands of dollars and so much time, and we’re just not there yet.”
My heart shattered.

The dreams that once were vivid and technicolor were now fading into black and white.

As I got older I began to see how others appreciated my writings in other publications, but wrote it all for free. By the time I got my American Citizenship, I honestly had bought into a lie that my gift wasn’t worth getting paid for.

Then, out of some of the worst moments in my adult life, came a breaking in my soul that many writers know about. It’s when you’re laid bare. SOUL BARE. Your soul picks up your pen and you begin to not care anymore about what others think, but instead you connect with the urgent ache to get your soul’s groans out on paper.

I began documenting my cancer story on IG just months after one of those soul aching moments, my breast cancer diagnosis. I started writing and sharing for little Asha, and surprisingly, others listened and understood, or tried to, and some even saw their own reflections in my words.
In 2019 my breastie, Bri who was an editor of one of the top health magazine’s asked me to write for Everyday Health magazine. She emailed me words that were probably so simple for her, but would revolutionize my world.
“We will pay you for your article. We value you and your words and perspective so much.”
I sometimes still go back to those emails and weep. That one experience helped me set boundaries and goals to continue to place value on my words and gift and demand (of course in the most healed enneagram 2 way!) the payment I deserved.
Dreams coming true.
God taking the awful and somehow bringing good.

And now, today.
February 2023.
I was offered to have a blog as a paid freelance writer for Everyday Health Magazine. To share my story in hopes of helping even just one person feel less alone, or less awkward, or weird, or silly, or someone feel less unworthy or overlooked. I know especially as a woman of color and a first generation immigrant.

I’m excited to share my thoughts in a broader way on this platform and to walk together in this wild world of “survivorship”, and to share all the real things along the way.
I hope you’ll join me over there.

And to the little immigrant girl inside me, who’s broken down barriers and learned how to climb over the rubble and now is living beyond the dreams she once had… I’m SOO proud of you.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

In 2017, just 1 month after becoming a Certified Fitness Instructor, I felt a very small bump at the side of my right breast, near my armpit while in the shower.

It was so small that my mom and partner at the time, could barely feel it and when I showed it to my PCP months later, she couldn’t either.
She decided to send me for an ultrasound anyway because I felt the bump. I didn’t have any other symptoms. I felt stronger than I’d felt in my life. I was eating right and only 32 years old. I didn’t have any family history, that I knew of, that involved breast cancer, so I was calm this entire time.

When the results came back, they told me that the ultrasound was clear for any abnormalities and to check back in 6 months if anything changed. It was only when the nurse added that the ultrasound is not 100%, that my mind changed and I decided to get one more test.

Every doctor I saw in the days leading up to my biopsy, as well as the 30 year breast surgical oncologist, said that it was just a very tiny cyst and I had nothing to worry about. So, I didn’t, until 2 days after my biopsy when that same surgical oncologist called me at 8am to let me know that I had breast cancer. To say I was shocked would be a gross understatement.
I always say that I left my body in that moment and I’m still trying to come back home to it today.

We found out after many more additional tests that I had a aggressive form of stage 3 breast cancer. I did months of chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, many rounds of radiation and I’m currently in years of naturopathic cancer therapies.

Because of a breast implant recall in 2019, I had to explant my implants in 2020 and go “flat” which was devastating to me.

I had 6 surgeries in 2 years and this year is my first time not having a major surgery since 2016.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

The biggest struggles have honestly come since being considered NED (No Evidence of Disease) in 2020. What they call, “Survivorship” has been one with many ups and downs.
I am no longer in active conventional treatment and yet I realized many of us are suffering with the long term physical, emotional, and mental shock waves of cancer.
I was diagnosed with PTSD and I’m so grateful I had an amazing therapist that walked with me through it all the last 6 years. I couldn’t have made it without him, my strong faith in God, and many of my friends and some of my family members.

Realizing the need for community, resources, and a real life look at what a young adult cancer patient can be is one of the reasons I started sharing my story on my Instagram page, @dearcancer_itsme.

Breast cancer isn’t pink tutus and 5k races. We aren’t all older or surviving our diagnosis. It’s brutal and scary and can bring you to your knees.

And it can also be eye opening and life redefining and bring you some Breasties that will make your life fuller and more fun and meaningful! We always say that the breast cancer community is not a community that we would want anyone to have to be a part of but if you do have to be a part of it it is the most warm and welcoming and empowering community!

I would never wish cancer on anyone, and yet because of it I have walked in front of thousands of people in a New York Fashion Week runway show for AnaOno. I accepted the opportunity to introduce Target’s new line of mastectomy swimwear, I have been on countless podcasts, news articles, and have been able to share my story as hope to so many within my breast cancer community.

Last October I was able to represent my Black breast Cancer community as well as flatties when Victoria’s Secret reached out to me to be one of two FLAT models to ever be featured on a campaign.
I brought my community into every conversation and was later able to also speak and share my story in front on hundreds of their employees.

In my own journey to figuring out how to love a body that betrayed me, I’ve found many others inside and outside the cancer community who’s struggling with the same questions. It’s really been a wild and unforgettable ride and it isn’t over because against all odds, I’m still here!

I have so many passions and as an entrepreneur, freelance writer, fitness instructor, and Instagram content creator, I have the gift to evolve my passions often.

I am also a DEI board member for an amazing non profit called The Breasties and have been the Ohio Ambassador for them for the last 2 years.

The Breasties is the first all-inclusive nonprofit organization that creates community for survivors, previvors, thrivers, and carevivors, impacted by breast and gynecological cancers. We’re on a mission to empower through connection, free events, and trusted resources, and to fund research for metastatic breast cancer.

Working as an advocate within my breast cancer community has been so hard at times, but equally fulfilling!

As a freelance writer and speaker, I share my story in hopes that it can empower others to become advocates for their own bodies when it comes to their physical and mental health.
I’m a body love advocate because…well, as you know, in the society we live in, it’s hard to be radical enough to learn to love our imperfect bodies.
I’m still on that journey and I love to take others along with me, because body love isn’t something we should just “want” in out society, but something we truly need for us and the next generation!

Having over 30 scars from my neck to my hip bones from 12 surgeries, and countless stretch marks, I have learned that showing my body love is one of the most important things I can do.
When we can radically love those imperfect parts of ourselves, we are in turn allowing others around us to love theirs.
Now, that’s pretty radical!

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

In my own fight to figuring out how to love a body that betrayed me, I’ve found many others inside and outside the cancer community who’s struggling with the same questions. I have had to unlearn the lies that society has put on many of us about what our bodies.

Learning to love my flat chest after my implants were removed for being recalled for causing another type of cancer was devastating. I didn’t know how I would ever love my body, covered in 27+ scars from 12 surgeries and missing body parts, and having stretch marks from carrying my babies.

I remembered one day when my son approached me as I stood in a bikini.
He looked at me and winced.
He winced.
“Mom?
Never mind.”
I followed where his eyes landed.
Oh. THAT. “What are you looking at?”, I asked him. “Oh nothing.” he said as he continued to stare at it, puzzled.
“Are you looking at THIS?” I pointed to my stomach
where hundreds of little stretch marks lives.
“Yes, what is that?” I leaned in close to him and his sister
and smiled then I stood up tall
and I pointed out every single one.
.
I told them about their kicks and their bodies stretching my 7 inch torso, and how Dari was born with his cord wrapped around his neck and we didn’t know if he would make it.
Stretch markssss.
I pointed out the scar hidden between the stretch marks that showed the laparoscopic surgeries that confirmed that I shouldn’t have more than one child… but God whispered to me, “that’s not true” & God was right because my Dani was born!
I looked down at my Dani and I saw tears in her eyes.
.
Then I showed them my scar where they were born from—
the scar down my back, from a horrific surgery when I was only 11,
a scar on my hip from a bone graft,
a scar from subclavian catheters, and ports for chemo,
scars from 3 breast surgeries where now there’s no breasts.
Radiation tattoos and discolored taunt skin because of 2nd and 3rd degrees burns from radiation.
.
.
I walked my babies through the 27 scars on my body and I told them about a God who carried me,
held my broken scarred body and called it beautiful.
I told them the battles their Mama survived,
and the audacity I had to keep coming back from the dead, time and time again.

I told them who’s child they were— God’s and mine and because of THAT, they can do and achieve the IMPOSSIBLE.
They nodded confidently.
.
So, I have learned to bear your war wounds with pride.
Trust me I want to hide away all the parts of me that society deems ugly too, but our scars are the most outlandishly gorgeous thing about us.
My scars honor yours, fellow warrior.
Don’t shy away from the rebellious act of living when everything tells you not to.
You are here,
scars and all
to tell the story
of how you survived.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/dear-cancer-its-me/hi-im-asha-mom-breast-cancer-veteran-and-breast-cancer-activist/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dearcancer_itsme/?hl=en
• Youtube: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zHBkUHkUTn0
• Other: https://cancerwellness.com/spotlight/warriors/the-warrior-asha-miller/ https://abc6onyourside.com/good-day-columbus/breast-cancer-veteran-expresses-importance-of-self-checks-on-a-consistent-basis https://elephantsandtea.com/author/asha-miller/ https://dearcancerimbeautiful.libsyn.com/radical-body-love-with-asha-miller-breast-cancer-body-love-advocate

Image Credits
Miguel Elizondo Photography Denice Hazlett Blaire Ezra