We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Tonia Tewell. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Tonia below.

Tonia, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Let’s kick things off with talking about how you serve the underserved, because in our view this is one of the most important things the small business community does for society – by serving those who the giant corporations ignore, small business helps create a more inclusive and just world for all of us.

Holding Out HELP (HOH) serves those coming from a polygamous (also known as fundamentalists) culture and specializes in those transitioning out. There are nearly 60,000 fundamentalists living in the Western United States, Canada, and Mexico with a majority living in and around Utah. Most fundamentalists come from closed communities in which most decisions are made for them by their patriarchal leader. Most leaders operate under the “One Man Rule,” meaning there is only one leader at a time with no checks and balances nor accountability in place. This leader or prophet claim to speak for God. This can make it easy for a leader to take advantage of the vulnerable. These groups also teach that if they do not live plural marriage or choose to leave this culture, they could face spiritual damnation. They are taught to fear outsiders (known as gentiles) and believe anyone outside of the group will be destroyed when the 2nd coming of Christ occurs. Sadly, many of the followers live in poverty. It IS important to note that there are 15,000 independents that do not live in closed groups and operate in mainstream society. Most clients we serve are kind, sincere, and hardworking. Holding Out HELP tries to assist this underserved population by aligning those needing help with services that can better their lives and circumstances. We offer food, clothing, shelter, counseling, tutoring, job skills and life-skills. In addition, we assist clients when working with law enforcement. Three years ago, the State of Utah chose to decriminalize polygamy and since then we have seen an uptick in human trafficking for sexual and labor purposes. We do our best to assist in stopping these crimes while also providing services to our clients for rehabilitation. We find great joy in bringing hope to those in need and allowing them to experience that outsiders are not evil, and they can have a choice on what their lives can look like moving forward.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I was raised in a very hostile, dysfunctional family environment. I had two alcoholic parents and predators that were allowed to be around us children in our home late into the evening and morning hours. When I was 12 years old, my family could no longer care for me and my siblings, as their personal lives took precedence. We were about to be given up to the state when the principal of my junior high stepped in to rescue us. He and his wonderful wife gave us a home, 3 meals a day, and the unconditional love I had always longed for. I remained with them throughout my childhood and consider them my family to this day. I knew I wanted others that are suffering to have the same opportunities I had! Then after marrying my amazing husband and having 3 beautiful children, I was diagnosed with stage 4 Lymphoma. I was told this type of cancer had a lifespan of 8-10 years but they think it had been growing inside of my body for 3-4 years. One dark night as I lay in the hospital in what I thought could be my death bed. I remember praying, “God if you give me an extra day, week, month, year or years, I will serve you in any capacity you see fit for my life.” The next thing I knew I was released from the hospital. I went through a year of treatment and battled again the following year. I left the medical field to enjoy my family to the fullest until my time came to leave this earth. I began eating as healthy as possible and within a couple of months was cancer free. Then came a life-changing email. This email asked if our family would consider being a safe house for those leaving polygamy. Ironically, we had just moved into a larger home to have a live-in to help care for my 3 young children and provide support while I transitioned to the other side. I was fairly healthy at the time and our family decided not to live in shadows of the “what if’s” of cancer. We took in our first family and it changed our lives forever!!

We learned that there were people living under a dictatorship where every decision was made for them. We learned that men and women often don’t own anything and that education is a low priority. Labor and sexual exploitation is common and that they are taught if they leave, they will become sons or daughters of perdition. We had to do something! We started Holding Out HELP, a grass roots nonprofit agency, to provide services for those in need. We currently provide direct services of case management, counseling, neurofeedback, housing, and tutoring. Then we partner with many agencies to provide food, clothing, job skills and education. What makes us unique is that we understand complex trauma and try to take into consideration all facets of ones healing journey. Individuals who have experienced complex trauma struggle to lead a functional life. Holding Out HELP’s (HOH) program is designed to bring emotional, social, and physical healing from the neuro-sequential model developed by Dr. Bruce Perry. Clients receive 1-2 hours of individual therapy or neurofeedback, and up to 2 hours of individual case management per week. Our mission is to provide those from a polygamous culture the care, support, and resources to become independent and self-sufficient.

Can you talk to us about how your funded your business?

As Holding Out HELP started to grow, we knew a physical building was imperative to offer services like counseling and case management but we needed capital to do it. Polygamy was a delicate topic in Utah and one many did not care to know about. Then we received an invite to present up in Park City, Utah. It was a full house and I could tell early on that people were very passionate about this cause. I had a young man with me from the FLDS who desperately needed a place to call home. He had fled from a repentance home where is he was beaten, starved, and forced to work with no pay. He longed to be loved and known. I will never forget when an audience member came up to me after the event and said that they did not have time to volunteer but they had money and asked what we needed. We said we were in desperate need of a facility. They bought it and donated it to Holding Out HELP. What meant even more, is that they wanted to give this young man a home. I couldn’t believe it! A young man was given the love he longed for and we got the facility we needed to help thousands of fundamentalists get on their feet. I will never be able to repay this kindness other than to vow to do my very best each and every day to bring hope to those in need.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

Starting this nonprofit, I quickly learned I knew very little about this culture. I tried to rescue instead of empowering. I tried to love them as family and quickly realized I was doing more damage, as I could not give everyone what they needed. I wore the wrong clothes and said the wrong things, yet they were so kind and gentle to guide me in a different direction. People from this culture taught me so much about love and kindness. From these experiences, cultural sensitivity training was developed for law enforcement, medical personnel, and other state agencies. I have learned to be direct and straight forward about my knowledge of polygamy. I advise that I am not from their culture, and I will never be able to fully understand where they come from – so if I say or do something that offends them, I want them to tell me. I realized this showed them that I cared. That their voice mattered. THEY mattered!   

Contact Info:

• Website: www.holdingouthelp.org
• Instagram: holdingouthelp
• Facebook: Holding Out H.E.L.P.

Image Credits
Upper Left Service Teams Upper Right Client receiving her own vehicle Bottom left Wes Richins Installing security for a clients