We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Kayla Michael. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Kayla below.
Kayla, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Let’s start with education – we’d love to hear your thoughts about how we can better prepare students for a more fulfilling life and career.
I was raised by a single, teenage drug addict and alcoholic father. My mother left before I can remember her, and I survived a childhood of poverty and neglect. I joined the Air Force at 19, and there I was selected to be trained as a Resiliency Training Advisor (at least partially due to my individual resiliency required to navigate my childhood). The Air Force had identified the mental health crisis that my generation was experiencing after being raised by a generation that denied the existence of and then stigmatized mental health as health. In response to that and also some alarming suicide statistics, the Air Force launched a mandatory and annual resiliency training. In order to become officially qualified as a Resiliency Training Advisor, I spent days studying the importance of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health as separate yet connected pillars of overall wellness, and also the link between wellness of the mind, body, and soul and the ability to manage and maneuver through stress. I learned all of this in my 20s, and immediately started implementing this at home with my very young children by incorporating resiliency tools into their everyday existence.
I emphasized nutritional balance, intentional and appropriate physical activity, the practice of gratitude, mindfulness meditation, self reflection, and positive affirmations with my children. I have continued that for years, and I have watched my children grow and evolve into mentally and emotionally sound, very active, and athletic teenagers with a growth mindset and a positive outlook on life.
I think that we can make some real change in the lives of kids if we can implement and include daily resiliency activities in the school system, starting from a very young age, and most especially in the inner city schools. Kids live very stressful lives, only they don’t know what stress is, let alone how to manage it. They’re struggling with life just like everybody else, except they’re still working on being able to identify their own emotions. We have guidance counselors in school, but what are they really guiding? Why can’t they spend 20 minutes every morning asking kids what they are grateful for, or what they need to feel supported? We have to stop pretending like all children are getting that kind of intervention at home. We want to teach them algebra, but not the importance of affirming themselves?
When talking about education, we must use a more whole and complete approach. We must call attention to the mind, body, soul connection and how it shows up in everyday life, and make sure these kids are familiar with whole and complete wellness. We must cultivate a healthy environment in which to learn if teaching is our goal. Otherwise, we’re just talking at these kids for 18 years and fumbling the chance to leave a real and meaningful impact on them.
Kayla, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
“Hi, I’m Kayla. I love you!” That’s how I introduce myself to almost everyone I meet. I come from a place of love. Anyone that knows me will tell you that I’m weird, and that might not be irrelevant here.
I was raised by a single, teenaged dad in SmallTown, Ohio. He had a relatively hands-off parenting style which allowed me the freedom to explore who I am starting from the beginning of my time. I have a strong personality, and I can’t say that my upbringing didn’t contribute to the force that I am.
I started taking college courses at 16. I could never actually decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. The only things I knew for sure is that I love to write and that I had to find a way to help people. At 18, I committed myself to 6 years in the Air Force and ended up staying in just over 10.
In the last couple months of 2020, a massive tumor was found on my brain stem as it had begun to kill me. In the fight for my life and the excruciating recovery process that followed, the connections I had made in the military showed up for me in a way that I could have never imagined. In fact, hundreds of people came together to carry me through hell. Kendall, my person, broke down in the ICU one day and said one of the most impactful things that I’ve ever heard.
“Kayla, you inspire love.”
Looking through that lens, I’m able to see just how contagious love and energy can be. I love first, and I do so freely. My love doesn’t have to be earned. And, because I am (loudly) me in every room that I’m ever in, I get that same energy in return. From my hospital bed and everyday since then, I was and am able to watch wildly different people from all chapters of my life come together in love. And, because they love me, they love one another. It was the absolute coolest, most inspiring thing that I have ever seen.
I’m happily divorced with two of the coolest kids to ever kid. Audra and Nolan live with their dad and stepmom in Ohio, which has allowed them to maintain a sense of normalcy, and also remain largely shielded from the severity and disruption of my medical situation. My dog, Lola, is a rescue and spends her life showing gratitude for being saved, fed, and loved, and is currently living with my best friend as I continue to fight through this tumor mess.
I love to play fetch with my cat, Kiko. We also enjoy yoga and walking the halls of my apartment building. I’m currently writing the book of this tumor story, and how my own resiliency, as well as the love and support of hundreds of my friends and family have lifted and carried me this far, and expect it to be released in the winter of ’23. I also manage a really dope R&B artist, JayR City, and a dynamic rapping duo, Regis Marcellus.
I’m interested in veggie trays, WWII, bubble baths, murdery shows on Netflix, cat videos, and Twizzlers. Nutrition, meditation, mindfulness, BLM, and saving animals are all things that are important to me. It really is nice to meet you and yes, I love you!
Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?
In March of 2020, I moved to Cleveland with dreams of attending Case Western Reserve University and eventually getting into some kind of youth counseling. Two weeks after I moved there, Governor DeWine shut the state down thanks to Covid. So, I got a job at a local grocery store, and worked to create a life that I loved in a house and a city that I could have only dreamed of. My kids lived nearby with their father and after being gone for 10 years in the military, I was finally able to be more present in their lives. I was on track to a promotion at work. And then on October 24, I went to the ER with a sore throat. I tested positive for Strep, and my tonsils were swollen enough to be nearly blocking my airway. I could hardly breathe, and I couldn’t speak. They were able to get the swelling down, get me started on some prescriptions, and everything felt better, but the doctor ordered a CT scan of my neck just to be sure. That’s how it was discovered that I had a large tumor pressing on my brain stem which was also causing my throat to be somewhat restricted. I was weeks from death, and the life I had worked to create was violently ripped from me. I was rushed into 2 days of surgery to try to resect the tumor. I woke up paralyzed, deaf, and blind down half of my body. I was hospitalized for months where I struggled to learn to walk again. My lease was broken on my house, all of the things I ever owned were thrown away, and after I was eventually discharged, I was moved back to Baltimore to live with family while I fought for recovery, and bounced around between different family members’ houses for a year and a half while that happened. I was told I’ll never work or drive again, and with that I lost all of my independence. I don’t even have my dog anymore because I can’t walk her. What I learned in all of this is how to let go. Let go of physical things, let go of the dreams I once had, let go of many of the abilities that I was born with and had for 33 years. I had to let go of my independence, and learn to ask for help. I learned that everything is temporary, nothing is permanent, and that great power lies in the abilities to detach and remain flexible, while also maintaining a positive outlook.
Is there a particular goal or mission driving your creative journey?
My goal in life has always been to have a positive impact on as many people as possible before I die. The way that relates to my creative output is that overcoming obstacles and triumph in general tends to be inspiring. The amount of struggle and suffering in my lifetime has given me a a kind of credibility and also a small platform from which to reach more people than I ever thought possible. My suffering and the conquering of it is a story that the people want to and deserve to hear. It’s massively important to me that people know that I am not an anomaly. They too can overcome the impossible, just as I have. They too can learn to be resilient and beat the odds. People need to know that they get to choose how to respond to the life happening around them, just as I have. My creative outlet is writing and storytelling. I have a story to tell, and I know that my story can help at least one someone out there, which means that it is my responsibility to tell that story.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.kaylamichael.com
- Instagram: www.instagram.com/kayla_michael27/
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/kayla.michael.5