We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Tracie Barton-Barrett a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Tracie, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. How did you get your first job in the field that you practice in today?

After grad school, I was caught in the frustrating, seemingly never-ending, “You Need Experience To Get The Job, But To Get The Job You Need Experience” loop. My countless applications and ongoing job searches came up empty. After finally learning about “Informational Interviews,” when you contact someone in the field and discuss with them about what it’s really like. I reached out to Vanderhorst and Associations, a local counseling practice that had a positive reputation. The founder, Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, was kind enough to meet with a struggling new counseling grad. As the dutiful student, I had my list of questions in hand; however, I was probably not as polished as I had hoped. I shared about my clinical experience, emphasizing my interest in companion animal/pet loss. Once we came to the end, she asked if I would like to work at her counseling practice. My jaw nearly dropped. My heart raced in excitement and a lump formed in my throat as I tried to keep my tears of relief from falling. I took the position, and will be forever grateful to her for taking a chance on me.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

As a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor, speaker, and former psychology instructor, I work with individuals who are dealing with grief, anxiety, life transitions, as well as provide guidance with their own professional path through my online therapy practice with BetterHelp, as well as my own online private practice. With a specialty in companion animal/pet loss, and an interest in Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), as well as creatives, I also made presentations and workshops on these topics. And, my unique experience as an educator, therapist, and author allows me to especially provide support to those in the education, mental health, and creative fields. Everyone can benefit from having a safe, present, neutral person in their life for support and/or guidance. A mental health therapist also needs a mental health therapist.

As is the case for others, my professional trajectory hasn’t been linear, nor did I ever feel as though I fit into one professional path. In my essay for grad school, I saw my professional life as having four parts: teaching, counseling, speaking, and writing—like the four points of a compass. I’ve touched on all four of these at one point or another and now I’m grateful that in essence, I’m touching on all four simultaneously.

I always marveled at anyone who stayed at the same company, school district, organization or business for long swaths of time. Although my mom and bonus dad were successful in their careers as a teacher and chemical engineer, respectively, I didn’t have a clear illustration of what a successful entrepreneur could look like. It wasn’t until I was in undergrad when I helped a professor with her small business that I really learned. Then years later, at a local business workshop I felt a new sense of excitement about learning the business of running a small business. I wanted to do it myself. The irony in all of this is in high school, I had a successful pet-sitting business, but didn’t think that could be my life.

When the writing side of me wanted to emerge, I realized that Indie authors are, indeed, small business owners. As an animal lover since I came into the world, my two novels, BURIED DEEP IN OUR HEARTS, and FINDING HER SPIRIT, both celebrate the human-animal bond. My current project is a non-fiction/self-help book about healing your heart after pet loss. I had no experience, nor formal training in creative writing or English, I learned about the publishing process, as well as the business side as I went along.

My professional path, although not linear, has brought me to this place today. I am inspired and humbled by my clients and the courage it takes for them to make improvements in their lives. It is always an honor for me to hold space for people as they process their grief, find their professional path, become their most authentic self, and create best version of themselves.

Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?

Even answering this question begs the question—which career path?! As an author, one of the most salient and frankly difficult realizations is that marketing is, and will continue to remain, a constant. For many writers, the belief (Read: hope) is, “My book/novel/work is done! Now, everyone will completely understand how much blood, sweat, and tears I channeled into it and will automatically know about it and will love and adore it too.” Alas, it doesn’t work that way. And, with so many Indie authors, as well as traditionally published authors producing work, the market is often saturated.

In addition, I believed my book could be all things to all people. Someone would ask me, “Who is your audience?” to which I would reply, “Everyone.” It’s important to find what area(s) you feel called to write about. (Yes, I ended in a preposition!). It is easy for me to recommend others’ works, but when it comes to sharing my “Elevator Pitch,” I stammer as though I’m learning English words for the first time.

Everyone needs to find their own marketing style. I recoil when someone is too “salesy” or high-pressure with me, and so I am mindful not to do that to others. If I’m talking with someone, listening and observing I can gauge how much, if any, I will share, especially on the topic of companion animal loss. Marketing is also connecting through Social Media as well as campaigns. It’s easy to blow through a marketing budget, so again, being mindful of where my dollars go is important.

All in all, I’m learning to “make friends” with marketing. Sometimes we don’t talk. Sometimes I pay a lot of money for it, but it gives nothing in return. Sometimes we get along well. Other times, not so much. But, I’m committed to learning to making it a working relationship!

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

It was the last week of the semester and as a psychology instructor, my students’ final grades and attendance were due. Any educator knows that time of year is fraught with seemingly countless tasks to close out the semester and school year. I had flown back from my home state of Michigan the weekend prior and knew I would be swamped when I returned. I put my nose to the grindstone and graded finals, calculated grades, attendance, and all the numerous things that had to be completed before the end of the semester and school year.

Just as I was about to submit my final grades and attendance that Tuesday, an email from HR flashed across my screen.
Why would HR want to meet with me on Thursday—two days later? My gut dropped and my blood ran cold. I almost felt nauseous.

I called my husband and a few other people in a panic. Although they tried to provide support, the situation didn’t feel right. Later that evening, I called my supervisor and asked her if she knew anything about this email from HR.

She said she didn’t, but things still weren’t sitting right.

The next day, we had an end-of-the-year meeting run by the Dean, who, among other things, makes the hiring and firing decisions. It felt like a Pep Rally. Despite all the positive things being said, I sat in my chair quietly thinking, “I really don’t think I’ll be here in the fall.” After the meeting, I decided to clean out my office.

The next day, that dreaded Thursday, had arrived. As I was entering the building where the meeting was to be, a fellow instructor with whom I was friendly, was exiting.
“Hi, Tracie, how are you?” she asked.
“Not so good. I think I’m going to be let go,” I said.
“That’s what they just did to me.”

Well, that was it. Confirmation of what my gut was telling me. If they were letting an instructor just a few short years from retirement go, I knew that would happen to me.

They call it being “non-renewed.”
I call it painful.

As we both processed what had just happened to her and what was about to happen to me, campus security drove up in the golf cart. He said he was there in case there were any problems after being let go. His face showed embarrassment when I told him it hadn’t happened to me yet. He had assumed I had already met with HR.

After teaching there for 12 years combined part-time and full-time, it all ended with a 5-minute meeting. The two HR men there were surprised when I handed them my laptop as well as my key and said that my office was completely cleaned out.
Later that day and the days to come, I felt blindsided, betrayed, angry, and in shock. My work as a psychology instructor was important, sharing with my students not only psychological concepts, but helping with their personal development as well. Their questions, curiosity, and energy was palpable and energizing. In addition, psychology has always been and continues to be, a love of mine.

Not only had I lost a position teaching courses I loved with students I loved, our income was cut in half and without benefits. My whole world was upended. What was even more confusing was I had had a positive evaluation roughly two weeks prior. I also lost the connection to my fellow teachers. Intentions are always good to stay in touch, but it’s pretty rare that they do long-term, which is what happened. Although I didn’t see eye to eye with some of those above me (including the Dean who had never taught a class before) I never imagined it would come to that.

No reason was ever given. And, in North Carolina, there doesn’t need to be.

My husband and I travel often and every year we have a large trip. That summer, we were slated to go to Montana, hiking at Glacier National Park, white water rafting, and my favorite—staying at a dude ranch. We wondered if we needed to cancel, even though half the trip was already paid for. After a discussion, we decided to go. Looking back, it was the best decision we could have made. Spending time outdoors nourishes both of our souls. And, even more impactful is the horse I rode at the dude ranch, named Spirit, was the inspiration for my second novel, FINDING HER SPIRIT. Spirit’s patience, understanding, and groundedness allowed me to literally and figuratively “get back up on the horse.” I feel as though Spirit’s spirit saved mine. Although I’m saddened to say he is no longer physically on Earth, his spirit will always live on in mine.

There are many losses in life, and not all of them are deaths. Ironically, I realized this non-renewal needed to be processed as if it were a death. Our brains don’t like an informational gap or vacuum and will “fill in the gaps.” During this very bumpy and painful time, I started counseling because some of the Inner Critic/Inner Bully and negative core beliefs were rearing their ugly heads again.

I’m not going to sugarcoat this process saying it was smooth and linear. Toxic positivity is a thing. There was a lot of crying, anger, sadness, lack of motivation and sense of direction. It was such a difficult time of self-examination and reflection. “Who am I now and what does my professional, as well as personal part of me look like?” I even thought about writing a blog called, “Now What?” And sometimes there is shame in losing a job. It’s important to know that others have gone through it too.

Through all these growing pains and rising like a Phoenix from the ashes, it’s a much better fit for me to be my own boss and my professional life now is an amazing fit. I give thanks for how my life looks and live in mindful and daily gratitude, imperfections and all.

As in business and Life, no one does it alone. My wonderful husband, Daniel, my mom, friends, and family helped me. What that looks like and how they are cultivated is highly individual, however, no one does this alone. I also thought about my students, as well as teachers I had and reminded myself whose shoulders I was standing on.

Although this is a story of resilience, it’s important to emphasize I didn’t do it alone. None of us do.

And, it’s not about getting knocked down.

Because we will.

It’s about getting back up.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.TracieBartonBarrett.com
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracie-barton-barrett-2965a81a/