We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jenn Maroney a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Jenn, thanks for joining us today. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?
After working in the mental health field for over 12 years, I took a mis-step in my career that landed me a 39 month sentence in FEDERAL PRISON for Obstruction of Justice. I lost everything in my life that I had built, my career, my home, my marriage – and I was left with nothing but a determination to not allow this to be my end story.
Going to prison actually saved my life – and trust me when I say it has taken me a very long time to believe that statement as my truth. It was within those walls, where I finally met myself, the real me. I was surrounded by so much hurt and pain, not only my own, but hundreds of other women, who all had similar narratives – a need to feel seen, to be heard, to be loved. The pattern became so clear to me – the constant pattern of looking outside of ourselves to address the wounding felt within. When I got courageous enough to look within, I realized that everything I had been searching for was with me the entire time – I was the medicine I needed. The little girl inside of me – she wanted me to pay attention, she wanted me to speak kind words to her, she wanted me to wrap her in my love and let her know that she was safe. It’s funny and also kind of sad as I sit back and think of all the times I felt like I was being abandoned, and I was the one abandoning me over and over again. Within that prison cell, I committed to showing up for myself – to allow this mess to become my message to others. I had to feel everything that I had been suppressing for so many years, and finally get into dialogue with my body – not with a lens of contempt and frustration – but with pure love and curiosity. When I made the decision to start speaking the language of my body – I was finally able to BREATHE.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
While many would have allowed this painful experience to keep them stuck in a negative loop of shame and guilt, Jennifer has been able to turn her mess into her message and now she helps other women do the same! She has turned a painful experience into her purpose, and now guides other women as they work toward “remembering” who they are at a core level, before the world got a hold of them and placed expectations on how they should show up each day. She often poses the questions: “Who are you when everything is stripped away from you? When you cannot rely on your career, your money, or the everyday things we take for granted – what is left?” Jennifer was faced with the hard truth that she didn’t know the answer to these questions, and so she used her time in prison to do the inner work required to “come back home” to herself.
Jennifer has an incredible story of resiliency that began as a young child, witnessing family violence and being a survivor of sexual assault. At such a young age, with minimal coping strategies, she began to create a “secret life” which only led to poor boundaries, low self-worth and confidence, and disordered eating patterns. She began at an early age putting on various masks to try and hide from the pain of her life. A public success but a failure in private, her poor choices ultimately caught up to her and she came to a crossroad. She had to decide that she was worth fighting for and do the work to heal, or she was going to stay on the same path, and continue to self-destruct. She decided to go ALL-IN on herself, and realized it was time to re-write the narrative of her life so that she could fully step into her greatness.
Truly believing she doesn’t need a title to impact the lives of others, Jennifer has pivoted from mental health counseling to Mindset & Strength Coaching where she now strives to empower women to tap in to their inner badass through mastering their mindset, ditching self-doubt and fear, and stepping in to their greatness! She is sharing her stories of early childhood trauma, body dysmorphia, and incarceration as a motivational speaker, touching on key issues of shame, self-worth and the power of re-writing your life story. Her goal is to teach women how to unapologetically own their voice, and to recognize that everything they need to heal from their darkness is within them.
“I believe everything that has happened in my life has led me to this exact moment, has made me the person I am today – and I’m damn proud of the woman I’ve become. Every life experience has led me to this place, and it’s my mission to support women on their own journey to coming home to themselves – meeting all parts with love and compassion so they can ultimately expand in whatever direction they desire,” says Jennifer.
Anyone who works with Jennifer is guaranteed a unique and customized experience. With her eclectic toolbox of skills in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Hypnotherapy, EFT, TIME Techniques, Yoga, Reiki, strength training and mental health, she is prepared to create a personalized transformation.
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
One huge lesson that I had to unlearn was – “MONEY BRINGS YOU HAPPINESS”
While I do agree that having money allows me more opportunities – I think I spent alot of my adult life chasing after money in hopes that it would fill a void inside of me. I worked jobs that were out of alignment for me, and I continued to crave more and more.
I finally came to understand that all the money in the world would not fulfill me, because everything I needed was already within me. I was abandoning myself over and over for attention and to be “seen” when really what I needed was to listen to my inner child that I had abandoned and do what brought HER joy and excitement. Also there is so much more to being abundant that having money – and I had to start focusing on all the elements of my life to be grateful for – positive relationships, my body, the ability to be FREE…so much more than money!
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
I think I hit on some of this earlier, but honestly, going to prison is a huge journey I went on that testing my resilience. The day I was sentenced I wailed in my dad’s arms, screaming “I want to die” – and I meant it. I didn’t believe that I was going to make it through this horrific experience.
I remember standing in a room for one of my first group counseling sessions I was required to attend like it was yesterday. An older woman looked me dead in my eyes and said, “𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘪𝘵. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦.” I stood there in front of fifteen other women and I just froze. I couldn’t move. I was so embarrassed? Angry? Ashamed? Or maybe I just felt 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝. In a matter of a few moments, this woman had stripped me to my core, and shined a light on the part of me I had tried to keep hidden for so many years. I spent so much of my life trying to be the “𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥,” do the things I was supposed to do like get good grades, go to college, get a good job, get married – all the while I was drowning in my own thoughts and fears and felt miserable. 𝘛𝘰𝘰 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘶𝘱, 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘢𝘵, 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴. And here in this small room with all these eyes on me, I couldn’t hide anymore. 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘯. I had nothing left and I just stood there completely rocked. Cracked wide open. I calmly walked out of the room, trying to keep my composure – and then I sat in the bathroom stall and just quietly cried. I felt so completely broken.
Did everyone in my life know this about me too? How had I made such a mess of
myself? I had never felt more hopeless. I had so much “stuff” to unpack, to heal, to
discover about myself that led me to where I currently found myself – and I wondered if I
would be able to make it. Will I be able to do this work? Could I survive this time away from everything and everyone I knew – and commit to re-writing my internal narrative..?
That same woman came into the bathroom a few moments later, gently tapped on the
door, and pulled me up off of the floor and into her arms, hugging me tightly, almost like
a mothers embrace. She told me I had three choices – give up and just wait out my time;
give in, and allow this place to swallow me up, OR, give it all I had, and use these
moments to heal the parts of me that need healing so I could go out and change the
world. I don’t think that woman even knows how much that day meant to me. How much it
changed the trajectory of my life story. On that day, when totally exposed, she was a
mirror to me, letting me know just what I was capable of doing with my life. I may not have created all the wounds but not it was my responsibility to heal them. Loving those parts of me that were hard to look at because they carried shame, disgust, anger, sadness, guilt and regret. And looking at them with love rather than contempt. When I allowed myself to lean in with curiosity to those tender places, something magical happened for me. It was like a welcoming home.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @iamjennmaroney
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jennifer.maroney.10485
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-maroney-00ba9a224/
Image Credits
3lindVision Photography