We were lucky to catch up with Sarah Pacaro recently and have shared our conversation below.

Sarah , thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today What did your parents do right and how has that impacted you in your life and career?

I laughed when I saw this question and my immediate thought was “NOTHING!” but that’s absolutely untrue. But I had to select it while laughing at it because that’s the very THOUGHT and BELIEF that many of the people I work with have and the reason why they believe they’re life is so messed up today. It’s the very process through my own transformational journey I went through when healing past wounds and traumas, not from the things they did, but the things they didn’t do when I needed them to do it most.
My parents did so many things right and I speak about this a LOT in my content and what I share. Childhood Emotional Neglect and Narcissistic Abuse (Healing from the Emotional implications of it) is what I specialize in.
The path to this begins from childhood – from our parents. And many people (like me) had parents that truly did the best they could, but that “best” didn’t set up a child for an emotionally stable and healthy life.
My parents did so many things right. Worked full times jobs, kept a roof over our head, food on the table, enrolled us in sports, provided for us, took us on trips and vacations, encouraged us to get jobs, work, go to college, be responsible, taught us about money and saving it, how to drive, bought us our first cars, etc.
They were textbook parents – supportive & divorced, worked hard, were always there when we needed them but often times didn’t know when we needed them.
They set a good foundation like many good parents do – but the emotional needs department was lacking in support. Like a department that you called and the phone kept ringing and ringing and never went to voicemail, so you just sat on the phone hoping that if you waited long enough, someone would answer. They would have answered if they heard it ringing – but it’s as if they were busy working in another department and never heard the phone ring.
This is what made the biggest impact on me and my journey to what I do now. So I wouldn’t change anything because if anything were changed about my past, I wouldn’t be the amazing woman I am today (said from a place of knowing and believing in my worth – not arrogance) and/or able to help others do the same.

Sarah , before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

It’s always a bit weird to talk about yourself – but if what I just wrote about my parents follows this, it’ll make sense as the beginning.

I run a company now called Re-Write Your Life, LLC. because that’s what I had to do to save mine and my daughters.

I was brought up “normal”. I was a quiet, shy, straight-A child. Didn’t know all this stuff had a term or name then, but a “people pleaser, perfectionist, codependent, empath.” I loved, and was willing to do whatever I needed to do to fit in, be accepted and belong. Including going against things I morally believed in, things I knew were wrong, but I did them anyway to belong and be accepted. Growing up, I never felt like “myself”. I always gave in and did what others wanted me to do and this got me into a lot of trouble. (Mostly internally). I was always SO hard on myself. Even when I wasn’t a little girl anymore, there was still a very scared little girl living inside of me.

I was a “good girl”, cared about getting good grades and pleasing my parents and as long as I did that, they left me alone and let me do whatever I wanted to basically. (Which was nice) As long as I was alive and not pregnant and my grades said “A”, I was doing well (what was expected).

But I was a closet rebel. In high school and college, I drank way too much, slept with way too many people and lied a lot. I partied, drank, drugs, and did whatever my friends wanted to do without a forethought of the consequences. But the afterthoughts were eating me alive from the inside and when I felt that feeling, I’d use whatever I needed to or could get my hands on to numb it to make it go away temporarily.

I did a lot of things that I was deeply ashamed of, but openly talk about now because I’m no longer attached to the story of that being me and have committed to the inner healing and transformation so my choices, actions, and beliefs now, come from a very different place. Not a perfect place, but a much more away, present, conscious, and faith based place instead of an internally wounded, hurting and lost place.

I got into my industry after the second significantly emotionally abusive and narcissistic relationship I was in. Wanting to end my life after having my baby because of the relationship and emotional pain I was in, I knew I needed to “figure this out”. If not for me, than for her because she deserved a mother who could emotionally and finally support herself and her at the same time. I knew that if I stayed with her father and she was subject to the mental, emotional, and verbal abuse that I was experiencing and that her life would be on a very difficult path. I knew that I’d be teaching her it’s okay to allow others to treat you that way and to live a victim life of excuses.

I was at a point where I literally was on my knees wanting to end it all before I had an awakening moment and realization that my fate and hers depended on me. I had long held onto the promise of her father being this knight and shining armor that he pretended to be and was going to save and rescue me and realized I needed to let that mirage go and do it myself. I’d done traditional therapy, counseling, read all the books, listened to all the health and self-help podcasts but nothing clicked until I learned about the vast and unlimited power of the unconscious mind.

I became trained as a Rapid Transformational Therapist and Clinical Hypnotherapist and my entire view of life changed! How I felt about myself, what I believed about myself. The self-sabotaging behaviors stopped. I regained that confidence, trust, belief in myself that I feel like I never had. All of the old programmed stories around what I had to be, who I had to be, and how I had to be it – completely transformed.

Even with all of the doubt from my parents (even though they never vocalized it) – but you can feel it & it’s only because they never believed they themselves could do it, which is fine. I’ve been able to successfully run a business that supports both my daughter and I helping others transform their lives, heal decades of deeply rooted emotional wounds and pains and transform their lives completely the way I did mine and hers.

What sets me apart from others is I don’t just talk the talk, I walk the walk. What I’m most proud of are all of those who’ve I’ve been able to work with – who’ve stepped up to the plate to taking their life back and fully committed to transforming and healing themselves not just for them but for those they love as well. I’m proud to be apart of their story and journey and absolutely LOVE hearing stories of the innumerable ways my clients lives have completely changed in every way after working together. Now they’re in healthier relationships, are so much closer with their kids, love their lives, believe in themselves, have confidence and trust back, have gotten better jobs, promotions, stepped out to work for themselves, are living healthier lives, shed weight (their bodies physical representation of the emotional baggage they were carrying) and are living the lives they always dreamed of now that nothing emotionally and mentally is blocking them.

The main thing I want people to know is that they were put here for a reason. If they have a pulse they have a purpose. So many people come to me feeling so lost, so “far down in the hole they don’t know if they’ll ever get out”, riddled with fear, frustration, anxiety, unable to break addictions and toxic cycles they’ve been in for as long as they can remember. People come to me in deep emotional pain and I want everyone to know that life was not meant to be lived that way for them and just because you’ve lived that way for a long time, it doesn’t take as equally long to heal from it. Once you get to the very core and root of it (which we do immediately) – everything changes for the better! Your mental, emotional, physical health, and most importantly ALL of your relationships. They begin to bring you satisfaction and joy instead of heaviness and tension.

I now work with people who are in a that state of internal darkness and emotional chaos, to provide fast and powerful breakthroughs and transformations so they can quickly begin living that life that freeing life that “seems so hard to imagine.”

Any insights you can share with us about how you built up your social media presence?

I enrolled in several “business programs” that were really just mindset programs. This was a bit frustrating after completing my therapist training, was truly looking for something that taught how to build a business.

The one that finally resonated with me – talked about the power of social media. Niching and getting “out there”. You can have a successful business if no one knows you exist. So you’ve got to market – and when you market (especially with what I do) you’re marketing YOU! I was TERRIFIED at first. I remember my first live, literally shaking and reading a daily meditation and saying “I hope this helps you” and clicking END LIVE before I think I was even done talking. I was so scared, then deleting it 10 minutes later.

I began by committing to myself to going live for 30 days in a row no matter how I felt and each day I felt a little bit better than the day before. I finally got to where I wasn’t shaking and was actually sharing. I was sharing me, myself, my story, my expertise and people resonated. It was so cool.

My biggest advice is to be passionate and consistent. People will see and feel that and resonate. You’ll connect with so many people and all the ones that ask stupid questions like “can you make it clap” when you’re live – just ignore. Don’t let the haters or ones projecting their insecurities onto you get to you.

My business coach calls it “antifragile”. You’re not fragile china that others can crack. If someone is being hateful or trying to be hurtful, that’s what the Block button is for. Get out there, show up, share your message – even on days you don’t feel like it. Those are the days to be really real. To share your ups and downs, both your highs and lows, because we all have them and being real will allow you to connect with even more people because they’ll see that you too are real.

I continued to show up, I was consistent, I shared content that helped people. Don’t worry about trying to be the next person with a million followers. It’s not the number of followers you have that makes you successful in business, but the number that become customers. So make sure what you share adds value and solves a problem for them and helps them live a better life.

Have you ever had to pivot?

In business, I chose to pivot to online programs as well as 1:1 because working just 1:1, there’s only so much time in the day and only so many people that one person can serve at one time. It’s been game changing to me to be able to put what I do into a self-guided program that people can follow and still have that 1:1 connection weekly through our private group.

I knew I needed to go this route when I was emotionally and energetically drained. When I was overworking and began slacking on self care. I’m in the service industry and LOVE serving life transforming breakthroughs for people but realized that I couldn’t do it ALL for others. The clients I worked with who were getting the greatest results were fully committed to themselves and to DOING the work, so I’ve created an online program that allows them to do just that and now is more readily available to others at an even greater price point.

The last thing you want to do is to have someone “really want and need to work with you” but not be able to because of price point. So a major and incredible pivot in the business after several years of just 1:1 was to create a comprehensive online program where people can still get the incredible healing and breakthrough they deserve and desire at a lower investment and on their own time.

That’s allowed me to show up more fully for the clients in the program and also my 1:1 clients, as well as myself and my daughter. It’s been a gamechanger but it was scary to do at first.

So if you’re feeling the need for a pivot and change in your business – seek counsel. Talk to others who’ve been there and who’ve gone before you to get their advice and taken that leap and go for it. You’ll be much better able to serve yourself and others. It’s a WIN-WIN!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.re-write-your-life.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/re.write.your.life/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sarahpacaro24/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/SarahPacaroToxicRelationshipHealingExpert/videos

Image Credits
Elaine Kessler