We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Akida & Tisha Gray a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Akida & Tisha , thanks for joining us today. Learning the craft is often a unique journey from every creative – we’d love to hear about your journey and if knowing what you know now, you would have done anything differently to speed up the learning process.
Sure. We never thought we would be hosting and producing the Couples Connect TV show about marriage. We definitely have to say it was on-the-job learning. We are completely self-taught but our previous roles allowed us to be prepared for the opportunity. Tisha started out podcasting and Akida’s previous experience as an indie artist really helped prepare us to be in the forefront as hosts. Tisha was able to pull from her interviewing skills as a podcaster and Akida’s creativity as an artist coupled with the work he has done editing our youtube videos, proved to be extremely beneficial. Also, Tisha’s administrative background helps with show production. Our ability to create a chemistry that resonates on camera has come from us being married for over 15 years and enjoying what we do. As an entrepreneur, you often hear “embrace the process”. Well, truly our process, the different roles we have held was preparing for us for this venture even though we did not know it.
Personally, we believe we are right where we are supposed to be, everything happens for a reason. We were never planning to have a TV show so we could not do anything to speed up our learning process. Now that we are the executive producers of our show and the host, we are constantly improving our editing & producing skills.
In this line of work, the ability to provide value in a relatable way is valuable. But honestly everything is important, creativity, lighting, sound, the content, and scenery. It all matters.
Our biggest obstacle has been time management. We are continously learning as we go, and most of the time there are deadlines we have to meet. So we do not always have the luxury of implementing the new things we learn right away. However, once we see an area we can improve on, we try to make the necessary adjustments within the next few episodes.
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
We are Akida & Tisha Gray the founders of Couples Connect a platform that helps couples thrive in their marriages and build a legacy while having fun. We are a blended family of 7 and have been married for 15 years. We have had ups and downs in our marriage and almost lost hope. We use our TV show to provide resources and practical tools to help couples navigate the different seasons of marriage. We started out with a podcast called Learn Together, Grow Together when we first experienced a disconnect in our marriage due to the busyness of life. We were both going in two different directions, he was focused on his music career and Tisha was working on her coaching business. Akida knew we needed to work on something that would bring us closer together.
Then in 2020 the pandemic hit, and our lives were turned upside down. We lost so much in such a short period of time. Akida lost his job, his father passed away, friendships ended, we both lost business relationships, and we were technically homeless after the sale of our house. Everyone was squeezed into Tisha’s mom’s apartment and depression and anxiety began to settle in. We were like strangers to each other. We were not able to effectively communicate so we stopped trying. Even though we could not hear each other, we could hear other people. We knew that we could not be the only couples going through this. That’s when Couples Connect started. We talked with other couples about their relationships and challenges and upload the conversations to youtube.
Eventually, we started getting our own individual and couple’s therapy and we were able to get our marriage back to a healthy space. It was a lot of hard work, but we it was worth it. And now we share the tools and techniques we have learned throughout the years that have helped us thrive and navigate some of the toughest situations. We have been through evictions, loss of jobs, loss of family, nonsupportive relatives, and so much more. All of the things life can throw at you, but we understand that we are better together.
We are most proud of the fact that we can now share the experiences that we use to be so ashamed of. Because we realize that those are the experiences others need to know about so that they can feel comfortable sharing their own issues and get the help that they need.
We by no means believe that we are perfect, or that we have it all figured out, but we do know that we don’t have to be perfect, we just have to be willing to work on our marriage.
Have you ever had to pivot?
Throughout our marriage, we have made numerous sacrifices to support each other’s individual career goals. But when we first started Couple’s Connect, we had to make sure that our individual goals were in sync. We were previously pursuing separate dreams, even though we supported each other we were going in diferent directions. There needed to be something we could do as a couple. A way for us to leave a legacy together. We had to learn how to work collaboratively in business and in life. And it took some getting used to. We both have different work styles, we process information in different ways, and we had to figure out how to leverage each other’s strengths while minimizing each other’s weaknesses. It’s one thing to be in a relationship with someone, but doing business with them can be difficult.
This was extremely difficult at first. We didn’t start being more gracious and compassionate with each other until we saw each other as an asset to the business. We quickly identified our strengths, aligned them to our roles in the company, and agreed that we would respect the final decision each of us made within our role/title.
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
We had to unlearn the myth that our marriage would be amazing simply because we said “I do” or because we loved each other. Marriage, in actuality, requires both intentionality and humility. Everyone desires great communication, intimacy, and financial success as a couple, but we have to work on it.
Great communication does not happen by accident. Someone must make the decision to be patient, listen, and seek understanding. Great intimacy requires understanding each other’s needs, desires, and love languages. Good financial stewardship does not happen by itself; someone must budget, pay bills, save money, and make money.
All of this requires work, and it is a never-ending work. As we evolve as individuals, so must our relationships. Most couples anticipate that their spouse will remain the same and be the same person they married, which is not true. Nor should we want them to, we should all be continously learning and growing.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_couplesconnect_/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CouplesConnected
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@couplesconnect5975
- Other: Linktree: https://linktr.ee/_couplesconnect_
Image Credits
Photo credits: @kathleen_nolis_photography or www.kathleennolisphotography.