We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Chrissy Barlahan. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Chrissy below.

Hi Chrissy, thanks for joining us today. Do you think your parents have had a meaningful impact on you and your journey?

This is probably one of the most loaded questions you can ask a therapist. What did your parents do right? Ha! Most of us became therapists specifically because of all the things our parents did completely wrong! Because our job is rooted in the depths of understanding others, we have done quite a bit of work on ourselves, and that work is heavily geared towards working out our “mommy and daddy issues.”

My mom is a narcissist. My stepdad is passive. My bio-dad oscillates between borderline personality disorder and a narcissist. I’ve been dealt a challenging deck in the parent realm.

I could spend paragraphs on this but will just focus on mom.

Everyone who meets my mom would say she is the most kind, caring, funny, and enjoyable person to be around and I would agree! However, there is another side of her that seeks self at all costs. All. Costs. Unfortunately, that cost was often my emotional well-being and stability. My mom viewed me as an extension of herself. I represented her in the world and had to keep that in check. I would often hear things like, “Chrissy you would be so pretty if you just put a little mascara on.” I was never allowed to “ruin her good time” with my “too sensitive” emotions or needs. It was a constant line that I had to tether between the need for a mom who would sometimes show up as a mom, and the other side that would break me down to my core. I love her. I hate her. I need her. I don’t want her.

What has she done right? She has lifted me up, encouraged me, supported me, sacrificed for me, given to me and loved me all while creating deep trauma inside of me that led me to where I am today.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

-How I got here- Many therapists have the same childhood experience. Everyone would come to us with their problems. Across the board. Ask any of us. We will all say it. We were the vessel that held tears, pain, and secrets for everyone. The road here was merely one that was always intended to be paved. I imagine my life like a dirt road. It is already kind of carved out. The basic structure of the road is there, but the asphalt hadn’t been poured. I was always a therapist.

-My services- I LOVEEEEE working with couples! Most of my clients are couples 20’s-50’s. I also enjoy working with women who have experienced and/or recovering from co-dependence and/or narcissistic abuse. I also have started offering Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy in my practice as well.

-What sets me a part from others- I will ALWAYS shoot you straight. I believe in getting what you pay for and I am here to help! So if I see something, I am going to tell you. Think mama bear meets, ride or die.

-What I am the most proud of- I am most proud of keeping two wild boys alive and happy. Motherhood is the hardest thing I have done and will ever do

-What I want others to know- I”m human, like you. I get it.

How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?

Before I was a LMFT I was a behavioral therapist. I worked with children on the spectrum for 8 years and while rewarding, it was also a burn out job. At the time I was struggling with my job, my husband had started his own journey of therapy. One day he came home from a session and said, “I could see you doing that.” I never looked back.

Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?

EXPERIENCE. I’ll shoot you straight. I literally do not use ONE thing I learned in school in my practice. Literally not one thing. All what I use in my work comes from experience and trainings!

Contact Info:

• Website: Chrissybmft.com
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/