We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Ilana Kapra a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Ilana thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Being a business owner can be really hard sometimes. It’s rewarding, but most business owners we’ve spoken sometimes think about what it would have been like to have had a regular job instead. Have you ever wondered that yourself? Maybe you can talk to us about a time when you felt this way?

I have never had a career outside of working for myself. On days when client payments are late, or during a dry spell of work I do wonder what it would be like to have at least the illusion of security, benefits, and maybe even a boss to complain about. But in the end I always circle back to what I would be giving up for these things.

The way we practice capitalism in the USA dictates that companies must put the interests of the corporation first in order to succeed. This often means they do not serve the humans inside them. I deserve to have my humanity put first. When I work for myself I can maintain this boundary within my career in a way that would be impossible if I worked for a company.

It has also always been really important for me to be working towards a clear goal that I care about. Without a purpose I care about, I lose motivation and soon start to resent my work. Though I’m sure I could eventually find a company that would be the right fit for me if I had to, I find it so much more rewarding to be master of my own direction. To dream and then to make the dream a reality is such a beautiful part of existence. Why wouldn’t I want that in every aspect of my life?

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

Like many Americans raised in Red Country I was told from a young age that working hard was how you earned everything you had. Those who didn’t have as much as my family did must not have worked hard enough or committed some other sin. Looking back this ideology was pretty clearly compensating for generations of guilt over colonizer behavior. But what it instilled in me was the determination to never be lazy. And the certainty that if I worked hard enough I would be successful (the house, the car, the dog, travel, etc). What happened next is also not at all unique. I worked myself to the point of a car crash and a mental breakdown. Had I not been so stubborn I would have probably noticed that my choice of a 60 hour work week wasn’t serving me before such a dramatic turn. Thankfully my wake up call wasn’t fatal and only took me about 4 months of living at my parents house to recover from. This lesson was hard to unlearn. Learning to relax without shame and accept that I cannot control broken systems is the character arch of so many millennials. So I just want to say, rest is necessary, rest is a human right, and to rest is an act of rebellion.

Any advice for managing a team?

A cared for team is a happy team. We are all humans first and workers and team members second. Prioritizing the emotional health of the people within your team is the first step to a happy, productive, and sustainable work culture. At their core I believe that every human just wants to be seen for who they are and have a sense of belonging. If you can offer these things to your employees they will be happy to do their best work for you.

I prefer to use the term ‘lead’ over ‘management’ because the word management to me has always conjured the idea of something out of control that needs to be corralled in. Leading is not about control, it is about guidance and redirection. Leading people is one of my passions. I see it as a deep honor and an act of service. To lead well you must listen carefully to the individuals in your team. Listen to what they are telling and showing you. Find out what their skills and passions are, find out how and why they work. Take notes of what motivates the individuals that you are leading and then communicate unconditional encouragement and maintain firm boundaries in ways that they can receive them.

Finding out how to give these things to your team can be a very complex task. When people enter into a group relationship such as a team the dynamics of each relationship becomes interconnected and any issues or joy grows exponentially. This is why as the leader, maintaining a healthy connection and healthy boundaries within the group is crucial. Not every individual is the right fit for every team. If you can’t offer a team member connection and boundaries in a way that works for them, it’s time to have a frank conversation about that fact. If it’s not a good fit, find somewhere else to put them or let them go. It isn’t doing them or the rest of your team any favors to continue a dysfunctional relationship. The ultimate responsibility for the emotional health of the group falls on the leader. There is no shortcut to this very real emotional work.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we go, can you take a moment to share about your company with our readers?

Of course! Queer Videography is an queer and trans owned media production company based in Salem MA. At QV we are committed to subverting overculture narratives by featuring voices less often heard. We do rainbow weddings to corporate brand videos. Our team is ready to dive into anything that smacks of the radical and fabulous. To us, the term queer refers to more than just a gender or orientation. We use the term in its broadest sense: To be queer is to turn the system on its head – to look up when everyone else is looking down – to shout loudly when the overculture says to stay quiet. Our favorite kind of client is a creative client. Collaboration is a key factor in how our company operates internally and we are always looking to build a collaborative relationship with our clients as well. In a world becoming more digital everyday the idiom “show don’t tell” has never been so true. But don’t worry, our team is excited to help you do just that. We would love to make you a super cool video about your fabulous art installation, business venture, music, theater piece, or any project you’ve got going on. As artists ourselves with more than 30 years of collective experience in the industry of making we can’t wait to doula your vision into the world.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.queervideography.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/queer.videography/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/QueerVideography
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/queer-videography/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_lpnAG1t2TlIUOqFdkpbCA

Image Credits
Photo Credit: Dana J. Quigley Photography @djqphoto