We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Rachel Sobel a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Rachel, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Let’s kick things off with your mission – what is it and what’s the story behind why it’s your mission?

I created my social media accounts, purely as a hobby, after going through a divorce and becoming a single mother. While I have always been an open book with my girlfriends, Instagram provided a whole new level of connection opportunities. As a writer, I started to share bits and pieces of my life on my account. From there, my personal essays were finding homes on popular sites like PopSugar, HuffPost, Today Show Parents and others. The more vulnerable I got with my writing, the more it was shared and I would see my numbers spike. I quickly realized that there was a burgeoning group of women opening doors to so many conversations by using their platforms and I wanted in. My DMs started to fill up, interview requests from podcasts and contributing writers increased and that was the beginning of my online community. Years ago, as a first time mother, I relied heavily on my mother and close friends who were having babies at the same time. When I went through a soul-crushing divorce, I had a few friends who also experienced ending a marriage, but NOTHING on this level. Strangers are willing to be more open with you. because there is a different kind of safety in the slight anonymity that Instagram offers other women and mothers looking for connection, especially regarding the tough stuff. They know they are not going to spill their guts about their struggles and then run into you at Target or in the school carline. They just want to be seen and feel less alone. We all do. And once I realized I could accomplish that through my platform, I went all in.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I have always been a natural storyteller. I started dancing and performing around 3 years old and had my first television appearance under my belt at 5 (Duck Duck Goose for those in South Florida old enough to remember). Always the extrovert, my career included jobs heavy with client relations, public speaking and writing. I love them all and writing specifically has always been my favorite. I started dabbling with personal blog posts and social media content and as I got more comfortable the stories became more vulnerable. While I had a reputation for sharing the hilarious parts of life, I felt it was important to share the messier stuff too. So in between funny and relatable stories about my kids and life in general, I opened up more about going through a divorce, dating as a single mom, remarrying and blending a family, miscarriage, health scares and other heavier topics. No matter what I shared, my main priority was to be relatable and I think the best way to accomplish that and forge connections is by being unapologetically authentic.

My blog grew, my social media followed and before I knew it I was navigating brand partnerships, speaking engagements, publishing bylines for major online publications, becoming part of two anthologies (including New York Times Bestseller, I Just Want to Hang Out With You, from author Jen Man) and honing in on my community. In 2022 I started my own podcast, Friends Without Benefits, with my dear friend and Miami Heat in-arena host, Dale Mclean. We tackle a variety of lifestyle topics around friendship, dating, current events and more, and the reception has been amazing.

I don’t have a “strategy” for my content because I believe strongly in writing what I feel when I feel it. I have two strong little girls watching from the wings and I want them to always strive to feel comfortable with exactly who they are. I also want them to see that if you have a passion for something, there is usually a way to monetize it. I’m proud of the community I am continuing to grow. I don’t always know where this whole journey is taking me but somehow I feel like I always end up where I am supposed to be.

Is there a mission driving your creative journey?

Once I started interacting with my readers on social media, I realized the jarring amount of women who did not have a solid support system to help them navigate the messier parts of life and motherhood. So many would share such personal stories with me, a stranger. They would open up about feeling validation from articles I wrote or posts I created. It made me want to reach through the screen and hug them. There is so much division and polarization, particularly among women. While I can’t singlehandedly change that, I’m on a mission to create more camaraderie and show more support by example. All of us just want to be seen and know that we are not alone. If I can make at least one reader feel like I am in their corner every single day then I feel like I am winning.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

Before I began this journey, I had a successful career in public relations for 20+ years. We were always taught that every single piece of communication requires a response. Every phone call, text, email needs to be addressed and usually asap. While I think that is certainly appropriate in corporate settings, it took a long time for me to unlearn that behavior in regard to responsiveness on social media channels. While I spent my career being conditioned that we “owed” people replies, I had to remind myself that sharing my life in my writing and on social media as my livelihood does not obligate me to respond to anyone I am not comfortable engaging with. People come for you when you are public. Most of the time it has nothing to do with you. They feel triggered by something you share and and you become an easy target. As a recovering people pleaser I still have to take a beat and remind myself that I do not have to respond to every single person. Additionally I am genetically predisposed to feistiness which makes it even harder to remain quiet and abandon the need to defend myself. The more I get used to the rewiring of my brain around all of this, the more liberating it feels. There is power in silence, far more in fact than getting into pointless back and forth conversations with people looking to pick a fight. The more comfortable you are in your skin, the more you gravitate toward the silence.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.whineandcheezits.com
• Instagram: instagram.com/whineandcheezits
• Facebook: facebook.com/whineandcheezits
• Twitter: twitter.com/whinecheezits
• Other: Tik Tok @rachel.sobel.writes

Image Credits
Katharine Defalco Skolnick, Defalco Design