We recently connected with La Shawn Thompson and have shared our conversation below.
La Shawn, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today What sort of legacy are you hoping to build. What do you think people will say about you after you are gone, what do you hope to be remembered for?
While I am here, I am creating my legacy daily. The first thing I did was heal dysfunctional relationships in my lineage by healing myself and marrying my husband. We both believe in having a healthy family unit and we show our children that daily. The next thing that is truly important to me is healthy eating and exercising. I do this and I include my girls and they love it. I have been an entrepreneur most of my life and my intention is to build a brand that can allow me to invest in properties and the stock market so that I can pass that on to my girls. I will show my girls how to use money and teach them how it can best serve them. My legacy will be love, family, self care and wealth building.
What people will say about me after I am gone is the impact I had on them and their lives. My love, my kindness and the truth I always spoke to them is what they loved about me the most.
I will be remembered for helping woman heal their past hurts that are stopping them from having the relationship of their dreams. I will be remembered for improving the dynamic between men and women in relationships so that they can create a healthy family dynamic. When one chooses a mate that wants to break generational curses and end the cycle of abuse it makes it better for the future generation of children to come.
People don’t realize they inadvertently get in relationships and create the same type of unhealthy environment that they grew up in because it feels comfortable. In my 12 week group coaching course, I have a module that really supports women in breaking out of what feels familiar and creating space for a new experience when it come to love.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
Hello, My name is La Shawn Thompson and I am a Certified Relationship and Dating Coach. I help high achieving women release sabotaging behaviors in dating and relationships, re-energize their life and say yes to the love life they always deserved. I help my clients with their mindset around men, dating and relationships. My clients are women that are dating but unfortunately were not attracting quality men.
What sets me apart from others is that I show my client the behaviors that are actually stopping them from moving forward in their relationships. I show them the humanity of the men that they are hoping to date. I let my clients know there are plenty of men out here that have been hurt just as they have are open to love as well. If they can stop looking at men as the enemy, they can open up some real possibilities when it comes to dating. I know their view come from past bad experiences and I’m not negating their pain. It’s important for me to make them aware or it. Anytime I have pointed this out during a coaching call, my client wasn’t aware of how it was affecting how they were looking at potential partners.
I am clear that past experiences shape how you view a particular area of your life, at the same time we have to forgive ourselves for accepting certain behaviors in past relationships because we hoped they would change or just because we wanted what we wanted at that particular time.
What I am most proud about my business is that I have truly made a difference in the women’s lives that I have coached. Anyone can be in a relationship, I am teaching my clients how to say yes to themselves in order to attract a healthy loving relationship. The women that I coach are now aware of what is holding them back. Now they have room to attract a healthy loving relationship instead of settling. I always say “The quality of your relationship determines the quality of your life.”
We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.
I have had a very interesting journey in life. My mom and dad were drug addicts and because of that eventually I had to live in a foster home. Thankfully my grandmother took me in when the foster home I was living in didn’t work out for me. One of the beautiful parts about my story is that I received the love of my grandmother that showed me what unconditional love felt like. Even though I experienced that kind of love, I still yearned for the love of my mom. She wasn’t able to show or give me that as an addict. I went through some trauma living with my mom and even though my grandmother’s love was needed it didn’t erase the pain I endured while I was with my mother.
Growing up I looked for love everywhere, little did I know it was within me. I used men as my vice and later I realized that I was manipulative and selfish. It wasn’t until my mom died and I started going to therapy was when I realized my toxic traits. When my mom passed I was never the same after I received the news. I always wanted a relationship with her and I’m grateful that two days before she passed we had a real honest conversation and she apologized to me and said she was sorry. I’m so grateful I answered her call that day. I almost didn’t.
I went on a journey to truly heal what was causing me to attract relationships that weren’t good for me. I learned so much about me and what made me happy and what I wanted out of my life. Before that I was a salon owner, worked 15 hour days and was unhealthy. I was working to survive and didn’t have to! I just needed to shift how I viewed life and I did that.
Moving to Brooklyn was the start of me really connecting to who I was and what I wanted in this chapter of my life. I was newly separated and started experiencing new things like traveling to the caribbean, Africa and I even started traveling alone. I started to exercise and discovered a love for running. I ran two half marathons and loved running over the Brooklyn Bridge. I I didn’t work the crazy hours I used to work and had more time to do things that made me happy. My dating life changed and I started attracting different types of men and it was nice to be able to choose from a healthy place what I wanted and didn’t want.
I promised myself that I was going to have a healthy marriage and family environment unlike the one I was raised in. That I would have an extraordinary relationship and my future husband and I would be happy and create a beautiful life together. I prayed and manifested just that. I met my husband in 2014 and it was a whirlwind romance. We got married within six months and this year we made 8 years of marriage. We have two beautiful children, a 7 year old and a 2 year old. I must say, the way my life started out this wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t shift my views and perspective of life and myself. My persistence of healing myself is what has me be where I am today. My resilience I have comes from my journey of learning to love me and my life, has truly paid off.
Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?
Growing up, I was looking for the love I didn’t receive from my parents from others. Which caused me to have codependent relationships and people please. I was sensitive, I was an over thinker, negative and always thought someone was mad at me. I didn’t trust people and was always anxious. As I got older this behavior transferred over to most areas of my life. In my friendships I was needy and in my romantic relationships I gave everything yet was needy and controlling. On the outside I always appeared to be happy. I wasn’t, I was just pushing through.
I had to unlearn this way of being, if I didn’t my life would be forever full of drama and I had enough of that growing up. The absence of my parents had me feeling like I wasn’t good enough. I unlearned that by gaining an understanding of how to have healthy relationships with the people in my life, even if it means the end of a relationship. I know how to have hard conversations now and most importantly, I am no longer the victim. I am powerful, compassionate and free to be me.
Currently, I’m doing what’s best for me despite what others may think. I say yes to the things that most will say no to because of what people will think of them or fear of change. That has been my motto for the past 10 years and it has served me well. Say yes to life and watch the magic start happening for you!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://LashawnTThompson.com
- Instagram: LaShawnTThompson
Image Credits
Collete Bonaparte- photos only that have the solid color background