We were lucky to catch up with Abbe Feder recently and have shared our conversation below.

Abbe, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. What was the most important lesson/experience you had in a job that has helped you in your professional career?

I was a waitress for what feels like an eternity. A good eternity. I think waiting tables is something every single person should do once in their life – even if they’re bad at it!

The best things I learned about life I learned from waitressing: how to think on your feet, make quick decisions, pivot if needed, provide excellent customer service, and collaborate with others for a common goal. I was lucky to work in high end restaurants where as a bonus, I learned a ton about fancy food and fine wine, which serves me well and will forever.

Perhaps the most significant lesson learned while waitressing is that you can always make more money. If I were saving for a specific reason, I could add a shift here or there and earn more as needed. I could hustle a little harder, maybe grab an extra table, and push forward for some sales goals to earn a higher income. There is something so freeing about the idea that we don’t have to be set or locked into one salary for life.

I think that having the mindset that there is always a way to make money, or more money, has made me more open to taking business risks. It allows for freedom from stability and routine – both of which I appreciate but don’t feel tied to.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers

During my six-year struggle to become a mother, my husband Isaac and I started a podcast (Maculate Conception) to process the deep grief we were feeling and the isolation we were experiencing. Through that podcast, women from all over the world reached out to me, and almost accidentally, I began to help them on their own journeys of infertility. We’d talk about questions to ask the doctor, protocols, nurses, how to make important decisions, and bedside manner. I realized that there is an incredible need for patient advocacy, but also for someone who understands what you’re going through to listen, to handhold, to move through the junk of the journey from an objective standpoint.

We’ve all heard of becoming an expert in something we never wanted to be an expert in – that’s me. I didn’t want to become an expert in infertility. But after twelve attempts, a miscarriage, and an ectopic pregnancy, once I finally emerged on the other side of my rainbow I knew that it was part of my life’s path to help others along their way.

Combining professional expertise, industry know-how, and an abundance of empathy and compassion, InCircle Fertility meets individuals and couples wherever they are in the world and on the journey to parenthood to provide the support and guidance needed to find a resolution. From someone who gets it.

If you could go back in time, do you think you would have chosen a different profession or specialty?

I believe it was Steve Jobs who famously said that we cannot connect the dots looking forward, only backwards. I would have never wished infertility upon myself nor do I wish it on anyone. But had I not gone through it, had I not emerged on the other side as a mother, I wouldn’t be able to offer help and education to others. This isn’t to say that it happened for a reason – I actually hate when people say that.

I studied Behavioral Science to understand the mind, I studied Drama to study behavior. I first became an actress to make an impact on people – I feel deeply that sharing stories and connecting with audiences makes us feel seen and heard and less alone. I didn’t know looking forward that this path would make sense at all or that it would enable a holistic and full approach to a career – but it does! I can only connect that now looking backward.

Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?

When I started my business, I started with a business partner. We came to the business from extremely different backgrounds, but were both committed to the mission of helping people navigate the pain points of family building with the least hurt and most clarity possible.

Along the way, my business partner decided to leave the partnership and the company altogether. It was a total shock to me, and I wasn’t at all sure what to do or if I could sustain the company by myself. We had spent so much time and energy setting the business up in a way that worked for us. If anyone has ever shared a business with a partner, you know that it truly is like a marriage, and it was a huge pivot to imagine the marriage falling apart.

I decided to go all-in and keep the business going and it was by far the greatest thing to happen to my company. Like any breakup, sometimes we can’t see it and we wouldn’t have been the one to make the break, but it is in fact a blessing in disguise. It isn’t easy – but again, looking backwards, the dots feel connected.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.incirclefertility.com/
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/incirclefertility
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InCircleFertility
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/abbe-meryl-feder/

Image Credits
Stephanie Girard