We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Dr. LaNail Plummer a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Dr. LaNail thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Was there an experience or lesson you learned at a previous job that’s benefited your career afterwards?

I am a leader. I’ve always been told this and the truth is, I’ve always known it too. My dad calls me a “treadsetter” but I think he likes to say that because he’s a trendsetter and he raised me to be like him…or maybe I naturally am like him. Who knows? It’s that whole “nature vs. nurture” thing. But I know that I set trends and it’s not in fashion, usually. Usually, it’s in the professional services lens. So, when I was a young 21-year-old solider, an Officer in the US Army, I didn’t quite know how to lead. I had the title to lead and some academic learnings to support me, but I felt inadequate because I didn’t have the lived experience. Well, at least I didn’t think so. Until I started to consider that most leaders gather (from various ways/resources) enough robust data to make wise and strategic decisions. Because I am a detailed person, I tend to be the carrier of data….and because I like to ask questions (even then) I was able to provide qualitative data too…and because I like to solve problems and puzzles, I think in strategy and approach…and I’m not impulsive. And, finally, because I have a welcoming and genuine personality, people like to talk to me…so it put me in a position to lead…based who I NATURALLY am and who my lived experiences allowed me to be. Therefore, my important lesson was: Lead based on who you already are…not who you think you are supposed to be.

This lesson has carried over to my other career ventures too….as a Lead School Counselor, a CEO, a professor, and as a public speaker. See, the thing is, when we lead based on who we already are, we can and will always be authentic and genuine. That authenticity creates consistency…which creates predictions/predictability which creates trust. See, most humans thrive in situations in which they can predict and trust…because nothing becomes a threat. And when there is no threat (emotionally too), people can think more creatively, solve problems through innovation, be vulnerable to ask questions and receive the answers- without defense, and be their authentic selves. So, when I am authentic, those around me tend to be…or learn to be…authentic too. And, then we all learn, teach, work, and grow together, as a team.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I got into this work because of….well, because of many reasons. The top things that come to mind are: poverty, my mother, decision making processes, wanting to help others, being a leader in the Black and LGBTQ communities and….simply, because it’s my purpose. I truly believe that we (the mental health and me) “ran into each other”, collided, and determined that we make magic happen, together.

So, as a young child, growing up in Los Angeles and San Bernardino, California, in the 1980s, I was immersed in the crime and drug epidemic. Many of my friends were living with their aunts, uncles, and grandparents because their parents were on the streets, strung out on drugs, and making a series of bad decisions. And, while it sucks to live away from your parents, it hurts, equally, to live with your parents who are still strung out. That was me. My mother was addicted to crack cocaine and was a substance-motivated prostitute…and I still lived with her. I think there are many factors that contributed to the onset of her drug use, including poverty and believing that she didn’t have a way out or any solutions that would allow her to have a different life…a better life. Drugs were her escape, and I was on the journey with her. And, yet I still saw a few mothers along the way, that were not addicted to drugs, and I saw a few men who were actively living with their families, and I knew my dad was away, in the Army, making a better life for himself and subsequently for me…so I began to be intrigued by individual’s decision-making processes. How do some make it out of poverty and live in nice houses in the suburbs and others are stuck in projects and addicted to drugs. Keep in mind, I was a less than 6 when I started to wonder about these things. And, as time progressed, I used my natural gifts of observations, problem solving, and intellect to make connections and correlations. And now, I know and accept that poverty and substance use is not as simple as I thought it was…but as a child, it was a matter of “decision making” for me. So, I wanted to learn more and do more and get more answers. However, I didn’t want to be a “social worker” because, in the hood, social workers were the tools of negativity, that resulted in families being split apart, welfare and food stamps being reduced, and a lack of general care for people who looked like and were different from them. But there was no word for what I wanted to do….at least, no word that had ever been used around me.

When I arrived at Howard University, majoring in Admin. of Justice and minoring in Psychology, I found out about Counseling, as a profession. And it embodied everything I wanted to do. And I wanted to start counseling with young children, so I could help them address any traumas that occurred, that were outside of their locus of control…while helping them to develop skills and make decisions they would be proud to talk about and share with others.

My brand, I don’t know…my brand is simply me- A Black Bisexual woman who was a single mom and a Veteran, who talks a lot about what is right, listens to learn what’s wrong, and creates solutions to make things better. My brand is my identity and I get to be “on brand” daily, because I get to be me and be authentic and vocal in my spaces.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

I had to UNlearn that I wasn’t good enough which translates to the lesson that: I am more than enough.

I have mulitiple identities that intersect and a few that contradict and are in (or have been in) conflict with each other.

I love God. Like, LOVE God. That’s my dude. We talk daily and he brings his homies, my ancestors, around to chill too. As a young child, alone in the house while my mom was in the streets, I had me, my barbies, my thoughts, and my God. When I got a bit older, I begin to understand that most people find God in church or through their religion. But God found me, alone, in the kitchen, eating raw potatoes and thinking it was normal because that’s the only food we had in the house. But when I realized that many people that “know God” go to church, I wanted to try it out. And, with a great grandfather that was a Pastor, it wasn’t hard to do. And, once my mom reached sobriety, it was even easier to do. So, I begin to love church. Not just because that’s where “God was” but because I thought the people there loved God the way that I did…and thought they would love me the way God loves me. But I was wrong.
As I grew more into myself, I also discovered that I had a thing for boys….and for girls too. Oh, I was confused but happy. Until I realized that the church didn’t like people like me and subsequently, they were comfortable referring to me as a demon that needed to be rebuked. But I was confused because, God liked me. God loved me. God created me. God convened with me outside of church and yet, these people that love God were not treating me the way that God treated me.
So, because humans can be seen and God cannot, I begin to distance myself from him and see myself through the lens of the humans around me. And, they said I was bad and not good. Simple statements to a child can ruin them.
I had to unlearn those lessons and get back to my roots of understanding. God loves me. God made me this way- beautifully complex. And God wants the world to see his creation, as me…to say- Look folks, you need to be authentically who I made you to be because you are the gift that I am giving to the people around you. You are the Gift. I am the Gift. And I love God for giving me…me.

How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?

Ha! To carry on from the previous question, I announced to the world, quite publicly on Facebook, that I was “into women”. It went as suspected. Many people were confused, some were mad, but more were happy. I think most people figured that I was into women but since I have “passing privilege” in the LGBTQ, folks were quite sure…until that post came out in April 2014.

At that point, I had to pivot. I just announced to the world that there was a part of me that was hidden for a while…. for like 33 years…So while my closest friends and cousins knew, other people, like my children did not. So, I had to start living more authentically me which meant that I had to pivot from a mindset of shame and worry to one of universal trust (of God) and discernment around who actually cares for me.

I’m still learning the latter lesson. There are many people in my life, but I don’t know if all of them care for me. Some are just intrigued because I’m so passionate. But yes, I had to live life differently the moment I told people that I was different from who they thought I was. And it’s worked out well. I love my life.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.onyxtherapygroup.com
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