We recently connected with MARY DEVINE and have shared our conversation below.

MARY, appreciate you joining us today. Can you walk us through some of the key steps that allowed you move beyond an idea and actually launch?

I began writing my debut memoir, Standing Up – Making the Best Out of Surviving the Worst, almost by accident. I retired from the New Castle County Police Department in 2016, but I hadn’t prepared for what would come next. As often happens in life, kismet—God, fate, whatever you choose to call it—seemed to guide me in an unexpected direction.

One month before my retirement, my mother suffered her first stroke, and I became her full-time caregiver. I moved her into the apartment attached to my home, and overnight, my life changed. The sudden shift from the constant motion of police work to a quiet, sedentary routine was excruciating for my Type A personality. I felt restless and unmoored, searching for something—anything—that would keep me engaged.

Drawing and painting helped steady me, but journaling did something deeper. It brought me peace. I wrote with no particular goal in mind, simply putting my thoughts on paper. One day, I read back through those scattered pages and realized something unexpected was happening—the pieces of my past were beginning to form a story.
I shared a few pages with a dear friend. After reading them, she insisted I had to write a book. She told me the stories of my life were page-turners.

At the time, I knew nothing about publishing and felt like an easy target for every scammer looking for their next pigeon. Eventually, I discovered Reedsy, an international platform that connects authors with professionals across the publishing world. I hired a developmental editor who helped me begin shaping the manuscript, and several editors along the way taught me more about writing than I ever imagined.

When I finally felt that Standing Up was complete, I began searching for a publisher. I never submitted it to the Big Five—I simply didn’t have the confidence to believe they would be interested.

Instead, I discovered She Writes Press and was inspired by their story. Unfortunately, I had missed the submission deadline for that season, and although I searched for other options, nothing felt quite right. The following spring, I submitted my manuscript.

When the email arrived telling me the book had been “green-lighted” for publication, I cried.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

Standing Up: Making the Best Out of Surviving the Worst is an inspiring story about not just surviving trauma in a marriage or relationship, but learning how to thrive afterward.

As a victim myself, I stumbled through those years and repeated some of the same mistakes. At the time, I never stopped to look back and ask what my role might have been in the painful five-year chapter that shaped so much of my life. I learned many lessons the hard way. Looking back now, I can see there were moments—more than a few—when I could have chosen differently, found the strength to leave sooner, and started over.

Standing Up is a raw and honest account of that experience, but it doesn’t leave readers stuck in the pain. Instead, it offers insight, hope, and practical tools. The book helps readers recognize the warning signs of relationship violence, offers resources for support, and includes a self-assessment worksheet so readers can better understand whether they might be experiencing relationship violence and what steps they can take next.

Since the book’s release, I’ve had the opportunity to speak at local universities, where I talk with students about victimhood—how to recognize unhealthy relationship dynamics, what to do if you see someone else in a dangerous or unhealthy situation, and how to seek help. I’ve also shared these conversations through radio interviews and podcasts, helping reach people beyond the classroom. One of the most important things I emphasize is that relationship violence can affect anyone, regardless of socioeconomic background.

At its heart, Standing Up is about reclaiming your voice, recognizing your worth, and realizing that even after surviving the worst, it’s still possible to build a stronger, more empowered life.

For you, what’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative?

I never realized how much I would enjoy speaking about relationship violence. For many years, I worked as a police detective investigating domestic assaults and helping victims navigate the trauma that follows.

The truth is, as a police officer, I often wasn’t welcome when I arrived. I struggled to find the right words for everyone involved and often felt like I fell short of what people needed in that moment. Now that I’m further removed from those situations, I can see things with more clarity.

Writing my memoir has been incredibly healing, and now when I speak, I feel like I can offer real insight and support in a different way.

One of the most inspiring—and humbling—moments happened while I was speaking at the University of Delaware. A young UD cadet raised her hand and asked me if I had found love. I told her that I hadn’t found the right partner yet, but I had learned to love myself, and that alone has been worth everything.

Her response caught me completely off guard.

She said, “I want to be everything that you are.”

For that moment, I was speechless.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

My recovery from domestic violence didn’t look like most women’s—and yours might not either.

One night, during an argument, my husband swung an end table and struck me in the face with it. Afterward, he carried me to the car, drove me to the hospital, and waited for me to be released. Thankfully, after about half an hour of gentle coaxing, my guardian angel—Sarah, the on-duty nurse—talked me out of leaving with him.

I lost a child as a result of that assault, and it took about six months of living with my aunt before I could even begin to pick up the pieces of my life.

Six months later, my aunt passed away from cancer. She left me some money in her will with one special note: “I want Mary to have $2,000 for karate lessons so she can defend herself in her next relationship.” I knew she meant it half jokingly, but I took her advice. I signed up for Taekwondo lessons.

That decision changed everything.

At the studio, I met Maria, a police officer with the New Castle County Police Department. She took me under her wing and encouraged me to apply, since the department was hiring women. I went back to school, earned my degree, and was eventually hired. All, this while earning a black belt in Taekwondo

What are the odds that a victim of domestic violence would become a police officer, be assigned to the Domestic Violence Unit—and then be given a case that mirrored her own experience? It’s been a miraculous life!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://marydevinebooks.com
• Instagram: mary.devine.2519

Image Credits

Headshot courtesy Gina Degnars-Graves