We were lucky to catch up with KAYRAJAY recently and have shared our conversation below.
KAYRAJAY, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Are you happy as a creative professional? Do you sometimes wonder what it would be like to work for someone else?
Currently it’s November 2025 and I’ve been laid off from my professional creative job going on 4 months now. I remember right before my layoff, around June 2025, I was outside at the ‘clerb’ and I met a guy with a ‘regular’ government job who was sharing how he handles government contracts and really enjoys the stability and benefits of his career.
At the time, I felt a bit envious of him because my own employment felt unstable and I almost wanted to explore what it would feel like to do a ‘regular job’.
Fast forward a few months and he and I were in the same position during the government shutdown – unemployed.
That being said, no – I would not prefer to do a job that doesn’t light me up or make me happy despite its illusion of security.
As I continue my job hunt, I’ve been applying to all sorts of positions that seem stable and would pay the bills, but wouldn’t really ignite my creative spark. Needless to say, I haven’t been receiving those offers and a large part of that is because those jobs are not aligned with who I am.
What’s been working for me is staying committed to my artistry and pursuing my entrepreneurial creative endeavors.
I’ve grown deeper in my faith over the years and I genuinely feel like God wants me to take a pause at this time and refill my own cup before pouring into a corporation.
It really is quite the process, but so much insight is coming to me from this moment. My bank account would be most grateful for a regular job at this time, but life is about so much more than money — and this is coming from a single mom!
While creative jobs can sometimes be a bit gut wrenching and unstable considering the current state of affairs, I believe everything we do has a divine purpose and sometimes that feeling of uneasiness can guide you to layers deep within that have yet to be explored and help cultivate a brand new art piece you had no idea existed within.
However, you have to be smart and take it upon yourself to create security for yourself in this space. Protecting your finances while prioritizing your wellness and self-care so that you aren’t burnt out from the grind should be of importance at all times.
Creativity is about ebbs and flows, so as we navigate uncertain terrain, it’s imperative that we consistently stay prepared and committed to our path – not venturing off into ‘regular’ territory because it seems secure.
KAYRAJAY, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?
Hello friends, new and old! My name is Kayra J. Clouden, also known as KAYRAJAY and I’m a Creative Producer, Wine & Wellness Enthusiast and a Mom to an amazing 2 year old boy named Koa.
I started my career as an Associate Producer at Jezebel where I ran through the streets of New York interviewing celebrities and prominent cultural figures in the name of pop culture rooted in feminism.
My ultimate goal was to work in television, so I created a 6 episode digital series entitled: ADULTIN’, along with my co-creators Paulette (@paulie.mars) and Malique (@maliquesmojo). This was the most pivotal moment in my career because it truly taught me that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to and this leap of faith has carried me into many other seasons of my career.
Shortly after starting pre-production on ADULTIN’, I became a Development Assistant at MTV/VH1 where I supported the most brilliant executives as we created TV shows from scratch – my dream job fresh out of college.
I climbed the corporate ladder and moved on to become an Associate Producer, working across several MTV & VH1 shows both in the office and in the field as a Talent Manager before becoming a Development Producer with Antoinette Media.
My proximity to excellence and leadership inspired me to pursue entrepreneurship of my own so I spent the last few years building my business, KAYRAJAY, LLC, where I service my clients with digital marketing, content creation, videography + photography and more.
After becoming a single mother, I transmuted my energy into something positive by shining a light on amazing moms through a short-form video series, 4 Da BM’s, and created an art exhibit entitled: Muvahood, which was curated by Deja Belardo and on display at the CMC Arts Museum in St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands throughout September 2024.
My brand is completely infused with my authenticity and personal life that’s been shaped by unique experiences. I’ve been able to channel my struggles, pain, joy and more into my art and keep going despite the odds.
This commitment to success keeps me sharp and focused as I find ways to service my clientele’s needs as best as possible while creating my own original artwork and following my dreams.
How about pivoting – can you share the story of a time you’ve had to pivot?
I’ve recently had to do a major pivot in my journey.
I got laid off from a company that I dreamed of becoming an executive at, but life had other plans.
Sine then, my bills have been piling up as I pour all of my available income into supporting my child’s education and making sure his needs are consistently met.
I believe I’ve submitted hundreds of applications over the last 90 days to all sorts of companies and they all agree – it’s a no for me.
My bank account and my confidence were both suffering. I began to think: “Am I even talented?” “What was all of that hard work even for over the years??” “What the f*ck am I going to do????”
After many crying sessions, transfers from savings to checking and very deep reflections, I decided to apply for a Tasting Room Attendant position at a winery and got hired on the spot.
I love wine and even took a Wine Appreciation course back in college, so I figured if I’m not going to be a TV Producer right now, then I need to lean into something else that brings me joy and is saying ‘yes’ to me.
This job feels like a major exhale after 5+ years of pouring my creativity into other companies and has inspired me to express my love for wine in my own creative way by writing about it on SubStack. Not only do I get to dive into the world of terroirs and tannins all day, but I’m meeting so many sophisticated and well-rounded people who also share a love for wine and culinary excellence.
Somewhere deep down in a journal, I’ve written about one day becoming a Sommelier and eventually owning a vineyard, however, while I was producing TV, that became a dream deferred. Now, that dream is taking center stage and I’m excited about what’s next for this venture.
My loyal clients have also returned and contracted me for my other creative services and I’ve secured some new clients as well so my confidence is being restored in my creative abilities and I’m trusting that my next major deal is right around the corner should I stay focused and committed to my dreams.
This pivot has been far from easy, but is grounded in faith that everything is always working out as it should – even when it’s terrifying. I feel the fear of not having the daycare money every week or questioning where the gas money is coming from to get to work, but every month I somehow figure it out and I thank God, my Family, and my Friends for carrying me through this challenging season.
Do you think there is something that non-creatives might struggle to understand about your journey as a creative? Maybe you can shed some light?
Non-creatives may struggle to understand why creatives walk the paths they do, but the truth is, the journey of a creative person is not really supposed to make sense to others. Trust me, your artsy friend would love a 6-figure corporate job crunching numbers or doing data entry to support their art career – but that’s probably not what they’re supposed to be doing as it would likely steer them from their destined path and drain them of their energy.
Creativity comes from a divine source, so creatives are operating from natural instinct, not logic. It’s in those gut instincts that creativity thrives and sometimes, people won’t understand what’s going on until a creative has proven that their ideas are successful.
However, some ventures don’t gain instant success; they are more like fine wine and need more time to mature before yielding results.
In my experience, the journey to success can be a little unpredictable and risky. So if you see your creative friend embracing a new art form or going on a side-quest, encourage them whether you see immediate results or not.
That road less traveled by is what will take them to the next level and I’m sure they’re already scared about whether or not it’ll work out – so be kind and pour into them as best you can.
We always appreciate your continued support.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.kayrajay.com
- Instagram: @kayrajay
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1GzXx7PaXs/?mibextid=wwXIfr
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kayraclouden/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@kayrajay
- Other: Substack: https://substack.com/@kayrajay?utm_campaign=profile&utm_medium=profile-page
Image Credits
Unjayded Photography