We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Carly Costello a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Carly , thanks for joining us today. Do you think your parents have had a meaningful impact on you and your journey?

My mom was a single mom. When she found out she was pregnant, she was 26 years old and working as.a therapist at a domestic violence shelter for women, making $11,000 a year. She didn’t have health insurance at the time and never had an ultrasound done, they heard the baby’s heartbeat and said everything was looking great. Around 38 weeks pregnant her doctor brought her in saying she was alarmingly big so they needed to do an ultrasound because something may be wrong and she needed a C-section. That’s when my mom found out she was having twins!

Two weeks before we were born, my mom found out that she was having twins. I was one of the twin girls she gave birth to March 26, 1988. She had to move back in with my grandparents temporarily to get her feet on the ground.

Fast forward to when we were 10 years old and by this time my Dad was in the picture. We never lived in the same state but we would visit him and he would come visit us. My mom never once spoke a bad word about him. Now that I’m an adult with a toddler, this amazes me! She never showed resentment towards him that because of his inaction, she was a single mom to not one but two! She always said it was a blessing because “we were raised by a community of people and didn’t have to deal with going back and forth”.

My mom married my stepdad and had 3 more children so I was raised in a big family, one of five! My mom found joy in the little things, she would say “lets have a little treat”, and it could be anything. It could be a piece of toast with butter and cinnamon sugar but we would sit outside in the sunshine, and that was the treat. She made everyone feel welcomed. She was a therapist herself so this of course impacted my own beliefs and views of therapy and talking about your feelings. It was always okay to talk about your feelings.

My mom died when I was 26. I had my Master’s in Social Work but I wasn’t yet a therapist. I so wish she could have seen me become a therapist and start my Private Practice. And not because I know she would be proud of me, I never doubted my mom was proud of me… but I wish she could see if because she genuinely would just be so happy for me, she would be happy with me.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I went to West Virginia University for grad school and knew I wanted to use my MSW degree to become a therapist, and that’s exactly what I did. It was in my second job at a group practice that I took the EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Training. I was hooked! I felt the power of EMDR during the training and knew I wanted to make that my speciality.

I finished EMDR Basic Training at the end of 2019, then 2020 started and COVID happened. The world shut down and this changed my profession. I had to be a therapist from home (my one bedroom apartment at the time) and all virtual. I hated it. I was miserable. I didn’t like being isolated and staring at a screen all day, even though I was able to connect with my clients telehealth, it still wasn’t ideal for me.

That’s when I found my own EMDR Therapist. She was Certified in EMDR and we had great rapport. That therapy helped shift a lot of my own negative beliefs and helped me fully heal from my mother’s death and a divorce that happened shortly after that. This experience also solidified even more that I wanted to keep going on my own journey as an EMDR therapist so I could bring this powerful therapy to my clients!

I stayed on track and became an EMDR Certified Therapist, then Consultant-in-Training (CIT) and now I’m an EMDRIA Approved Consultant. I have since started another business, EMDR with Carly, that is a consultation business for other EMDR Therapists.

Putting training and knowledge aside, what else do you think really matters in terms of succeeding in your field?

Being a woman and in the helping field. I had to do my own work around money and making money. At first it was very uncomfortable for me to talk to clients about money and a fee. I didn’t want to charge anything!

I listened to podcasts, read books on money mindset, and found business coaches I felt aligned with my values.

How did you put together the initial capital you needed to start?

I didn’t have a lot of money when I started. I reached out to the small business administration in West Virginia and was surprised to find an abundant amount of resources for free. I even applied for a grant to help with my website development.

I tend to be frugal, which goes back to my childhood and how my mom was. So with every step I took financially I made sure I could either get out of the commitment if I couldn’t afford it, or if worst case happened I knew I could afford it. The office I found at first, I rented. I talked to the landlord if he would make an exception and let me sign a month to month lease because I didn’t know if I would be successful and actually make money. Looking back it’s so funny I did that, I was so scared but I was just honest and transparent. He had no problem with that. I ended staying for years and even rented another office from him for my first hire.

If you have a dream and gumption, I really think you can make your business a reality.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.emdrwithcarly.com/ https://www.thecounselingnook.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emdrwithcarly/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/emdrwithcarly/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emdrwithcarly/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@EMDRwithCarlyOfficial

Image Credits

the first headshot with books – Rafael Barker Photography