We recently connected with Shynikia Means and have shared our conversation below.

Shynikia, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?

The defining moment of “Awww” was when I looked in the mirror and decided to deal with me! Meaning “ I had to understand why I hated me”! Which started during the early stages of childhood. I was molested at 5 to age 6 by a family friend and then from age 6 to about 8 by one of my uncles. At 16, a friend tried to date rape me and also that’s the year I had decided I was going to take my own life. Which a spiritual moment happened and I didn’t finish the job. I watched my mom be abused, I dealt with homelessness as a child and I was in an abusive relationship myself, where my kids were going to be left with out a mother if I didn’t leave.
So, the defining moment of why I hated myself gave me every more reason to help others not feel that way or help them understand why they do feel that way.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers?

My business is called “PurposeWalk “it is a black owned business that focuses on helping women and children of color. I decided to step out on faith and started putting myself out in the open, due my life experiences and the fact that minorities are less likely to receive help based on stigmas, racial disparities in healthcare, education and finances. So, my idea is to try to help close the gap with other minorities who are in this same industry advocating.
We can have conversations all day long but we need action, we need the same faces that need help to be offered a seat at the table to discuss the issues that plague our community to truly find resolve.
Just as my business name we all should be able to have an opportunity to walk in purpose!

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

What I had to unlearn and still have to at times is that I am not “ Inadequate” when you breakdown this word it’s definition states “ lacking the quality or quantity required; insufficient for a purpose”.

This is so relevant to not only me but a lot of people, when I was growing up people told me I was ugly, dark, fat, or boys just wanted to sleep with me but not commit etc. Now, add that feeling to the molestation, the attempted date rape, the abuse. I completely felt I wasn’t good enough, I felt insufficient! And now we got social media, men, other women telling us how we should look, while society has decided who’s the best of the best, and when you see these things you have to take a step back and understand you don’t lack purpose, we are letting society dictate what one’s purpose is!
We have to learn to define one’s self and what that looks like as an individual who is trying to walk in purpose.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

These sexual occurrences in my life caused me to lose sight of who I was and have a negative connotation when it came to relationships. I chose men that I knew needed help, men who I felt I could help and if I could help them I could, in turn, help myself. I also gained weight, so I could feel on the outside like I felt in the inside ugly, unworthy, just a shallow hole that walked without a purpose. In doing that I created a window of punishment for myself being in relationships that were tumultuous, men who were cheaters, and verbally abusive and the fix to the issues was to cry and to have “sex”!
When you are a kid people always tell you about all the good things and how bright, and beautiful you are! They never tell you about things that can happen that can cause you pure obliterated pain, something so powerful it can take your innocents and steal your dreams, it can cause you to victimize others, question your sexuality or take your own life. Even with therapy, pray and strong family support I have days where I struggle and that’s ok because I “survived”! I refuse to continue to be a victim or live in that place of darkness.
And this is where I realized “ I am survivor”

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @elavated_to_live or @purposewalkllc
• Email: [email protected]
• Other/s: Business no. (832) 713-7799

Image Credits
The main photo was done by :Joanna Booth owner of https://sanguineportraiture.com/