We recently connected with Stevie Bowen and have shared our conversation below.

Stevie, appreciate you joining us today. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?

I became a dating coach because of a stranger at a party. At the time, I was already 3 years into building my dating wellness platform, The City of Dating, which consisted of a weekly dating advice column where I shared dating tips and advice. Not only was it inspired by my personal dating life, but also the conversations I had with singles in New York City.

The defining moment happened at a friend’s birthday party in Central Park. While I was there, I chatted to a friend of a friend who had heard about The City of Dating and needed some advice on a situationship he was in at the time. We ended up having a mini coaching session before I even knew what it was. At the end of our “session,” he gave me a massive hug, said he felt validated, and thanked me for helping him get clear on what he wanted to do next. It was truly one of those “aha” moments, a.k.a. the defining moment of my career.

After the party, I immediately went home and Googled “dating coach.” I realized this was the next step for my career, but also for The City of Dating. I wanted to create new ways to help singles, and dating coaching was it. The next month, I attended a life coaching training intensive in Atlanta, received my first set of ICF-Accredited coaching certifications, and launched my coaching business in the new year.

My journey to becoming a certified dating coach was like a slow-burn relationship. What started as a dating memoir in 2020 became a dating wellness platform in 2021. It then launched me into a purposeful coaching career of helping daters find love in 2024. In the most cliché way, what’s meant for you will always find you!

Stevie, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

Before I became a dating coach, I was working in the fashion industry in NYC. Like many in 2020, I lost my job and didn’t have much to do but sit, think, and reflect. I realized I had never reflected on the last 7 years of my dating life in the city, so I began writing “Thank You” letters to my past dates, relationships, and one-night stands in NYC. In each letter, I shared my side of the story and thanked them for teaching me a lesson. It began with Dear Mr. Bumble, my first dating app date, and took off from there. I found each letter to be incredibly healing, so I kept going until I realized I had written a book.

I decided to pursue publishing and self-published The City of Dating, A Memoir in 2021. Marking the start of my dating wellness platform and advice column, The City of Dating. I fell in love with the topic of dating and used my dating journey to create the best practices and tools for dating. My personal dating life and the conversations I had with friends and strangers in NYC inspired my columns. I would find a common dating challenge everyone was experiencing, research it, and create the best tools to work through it. I credit my dating advice column as the foundation of my dating coach approach.

My determination to enjoy my dating life grew into a passion for helping others discover healthier ways to not only date but mindfully learn and grow from each experience. With that mission, The City of Dating started to grow! Through my advice column, community building, podcast interviews, and the creation of Dater’s Mag, I developed my unique dating approach. I discovered that dating is a lifeline to who we are and who we are meant to be. It opens us to a world of new connections, perspectives, cultures, and spirituality… a universal journey to be enjoyed at every stage, or age.

The City of Dating continued to expand as my perspective on dating and relationships diversified, helping other daters build their dating narrative. My purpose found me. Through refocusing on my inner happiness through therapy, practicing self-advocacy in dating, and encouraging my friends, community, and NYC strangers to make healthier dating choices for them, I finally knew what the next step was. And that was becoming a dating coach.

After an impromptu coaching session at a friend’s birthday party, I set off to study coaching and begin my certification journey. I received my ICF (International Coaching Federation) Accredited Coaching Certification through the Academy of Creative Coaching and began coaching singles in December 2023. My coaching purpose is to help singles heal, explore, develop, and mindfully take action to build dating lives and relationships that attract growth and happiness.

My coaching specialties are communication and self-advocacy. I help singles date on their terms… not follow a “dating rulebook,” but create their dating toolkit that helps them not only find the relationship they desire but also enjoy the process. And this is all done through personalized 1:1 coaching sessions, courses, and my dating advice column. I help my clients date smarter, build confidence, and find ways to communicate and advocate for themselves. It all starts with understanding what we need, want, and desire. Knowledge is power, and knowledge about ourselves is empowering. When we allow ourselves to be the anchor of our dating life, we can date with more clarity and confidence.

People always ask how I determine success with a client. While finding a healthy relationship is the top goal, the real win is inner confidence and direction. When we’re able to live and date from a place of clarity and authenticity, our relationship desires are inevitable.

What’s been the most effective strategy for growing your clientele?

Never underestimate the power of Google. With the rise of social media, it’s easy to believe that more followers equals more clients. But that’s not always the case. While social media is an amazing platform for sharing your voice, community building, and connecting with others in your industry, it’s harder to translate followers into paying clients. It can certainly be done, but for a one-woman show or a new business, it can be challenging without professional help.

I was lucky enough to start building my e-commerce presence early through my dating advice column, or as most call it, a blog. This was before the rise of Substack. I received training in SEO and keyword optimization and began implementing it into each of my columns and throughout my website. After 4 years of building my online presence, the results paid off. Today, over 60% of my clientele comes from Google, while over 30% comes from word-of-mouth. Leaving only 10% from social media.

In my opinion, there is nothing stronger than a potential client’s intention to Google “dating coach.” They are actively seeking help and have more potential to commit when they find the right fit. It’s safe to say that SEO is my best friend.

How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?

Cold emails, consistency, and saying yes. In the beginning, many of my contacts and opportunities came from cold emailing or DMing brands, podcasts, news outlets, and other industry leaders. Many of my cold emails went unreturned, but for the few that did, they brought different opportunities to share my voice and mission. There was a lot of rejection therapy, which ultimately helped me build confidence in networking. As I built my connections, I started sharing my voice on social media. At first, I was hesitant to show my face. Being camera-facing was new to me, and I was nervous to start. A common struggle for many business owners. But as I started the coaching branch of my business, I knew I had to start. Practice makes almost perfect, and that was very true for me. I started making conversational Instagram reels and TikToks that related to each of my columns, allowing my voice to literally be heard.

The path to building my voice, confidence, and reputation was a hard one. I had to create the mindset that if this video, podcast, or panel touched one person, then I did my job. And for social media, that was true for a while, with videos only getting a few likes to start. But the trick is to keep going.

My presence on TikTok and Instagram has brought me amazing opportunities to speak to news outlets and connect with other dating coaches. Which in turn has widened my network and job opportunities. Building my reputation and voice not only helped me network but also built trust within my community and potential clients. Like time makes you wiser, building a reputation is the same. It’s a slow burn, and for good reason. A way to get started is to start saying yes to the things that scare you and start sharing your voice in ways that honor your business.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.thecityofdating.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thecityofdating/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thecityofdating
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevie-bowen-2a8b22b1/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thecityofdating

Image Credits

Images by Her Studio, Anna Letson, Sarah Dimbert, and Gather