We recently connected with Niloufer Merchant and have shared our conversation below.
Alright, Niloufer thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. We’d love to hear stories from your time in school/training/etc.
I’ve had a circuitious route in my education and training. As an Asian Indian, raised in India, education was a highly valued endeavor that all parents strive hard to provide to their children. As such, my parents who had migrated for a period of time to Aden, Yemen, placed myself along with my older sister, in a prestigious boarding school in Pune, India, at the early age of 8 till 12 years old. Here I was raised by British nuns, in a strict disciplinary environment, to follow the “proper” norms and customs of becoming a well-behaved child. Needless to say, this strict atmosphere only generated an equal desire to “buck” the rules. Having said that, I did learn many enduring life lessons, not only in my hunger for knowledge, but also in my quest to seek out new horizons for myself.
Like most Asian Indian parents, my dad wanted me to pursue a presitigious profession, and in his case, becoming a doctor. I had no desire to pursue this path, however I made a deal with him that I would “try” it out by chosing the Science field (Instead of Arts, or Commerce – the designated disciplines in college),and if I didn’t perform well enough, I would chose a discipline of my chosing. He agreed. As may be expected, I did not do well enough for medical school, and quickly jumped at the chance to pursue Psychology. To this date, fifty years later, I continue to be deeply passionate and dedicated to this field of study.
Niloufer, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
Following my Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, I pursued my Master’s degree in the same field at the University of Pune, India. Whilst completing my Master’s degree, a friend and I decided to apply to colleges in the US for further studies. This didn’t pan out at that time, and instead went on to teach Psychology part-time at a local college. Two years later, the same friend, out of the blue, sent me an application for graduate program in Counseling at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater. I applied, got admitted, and within 2 months took the plunge to uproot myself from a secure, predictable life, into the unknown.
This was the first of many experiences that followed, of “jumping into the deep end” with both feet – a personal characteristic that has continued in many areas of my life. I found myself, a city girl who grew up in a bustling city, in the midst of a small white town surrounded by cornfields, and dairy land. This was a shock to my system! This was not at all the glitzy, high-rise, metropolitan atmoshpere that I was expecting. It took some time to adjust to this new life of finding my way in a very individualistic society, a far cry from the collectivistic, community oriented, supportive environment that I had left behind. I often felt like a misfit in this predominantly white educational institution and community, and sought refuge in the company of other international students. This experience however taught me valuable lessons of how to survive in difficult circumstances. I learned that I had the capacity to do a lot more than I ever imagined and am proud of what I have accomplished since then.
As I became introduced to the field of counseling and psychology in the U.S, my constant struggle became, one of “how do I apply the concepts I’m learning to my own cultural context”. It is well known that psychology has been taught from a Eurocentric, while male perspective, replete with values of autonomy and rugged individualism.
This journey led me to my doctoral program at the University of Cincinnati. Finally, I was in a larger metropolitan, much more diverse setting. Here I discovered much more about the concepts of cultural and racial identity. I was selected to be part of a year-long pilot program called the Racial Awareness Pilot Program (RAPP), where I was the only brown, Asian Indian body, in a group of 15 black and 15 white students. This intensive program was the cornerstone, and life changing experience in my life. I learned about race relations, racial identity, and the historical context of race in the US. This experience was so meaningful for me, that I went on to become the Director of the Program, along with it being the focus of my dissertation topic on Racial Identity Development. I learned about my own cultural identity, and as I found my voice and footing in the US, transitioned from being an “international student”, to a person of color and an Asian Indian American.
I have carried this experience to every part of my life since then. After completing my doctoral program, as chance would have it, I was offered a faculty position at St. Cloud State University, in St. Cloud, MN, another small town in a pedominantly white rural setting. Needless to say, my quest to challenge the system and the discipline continued in this area for the next 3 decades. My scholarship focused on multicultural counseling, with a special focus on doing group work. This led me to get connected to many leaders in the field, where I ultimately took leadership roles at the university, local community and my professional organizations.
In all of these settings I championed the causes of disenfranchised, and historically marginalized and excluded communities. I sought several grants to create “relatively safe spaces” for children and adolescents of color in schools, and treatment settings. I participated in and facilitated spaces for parents of color in the schools, faculty of color at the university, and created mentoring programs for school and college students. I transitioned from member to chairing several Diversity committees, at department, college, university, community and professional organizations. I was elected the President of a subdivision of the American Counseling Association, and eventually a member of the Governing Counsel of the same Association.
Becoming involved at so many levels, and “fighting” for social justice and change eventually took it’s toll. In this process I learned that I did not take care of my own self along the way. This led to burnout, and ultimately poor physical health. Dealing with the uphill political realities within the university setting led to despair. I knew I needed a break, so after holding a faculty position for 29 years (with 6 of those years serving as Department Chair in a volatile environment), I decided to retire early from the University setting, moved to Minneapolis, and started my own clinical practice as a Licensed Psychologist. Since then, I have paid particular attention to pacing myself, and engage in the many things I love doing, such as traveling, knitting, crotcheting, playing word games, and most recently playing with our newly adopted kitten!
Many of the clients I serve have had complex traumatic experiences. I have worked with a wide range of issues including physical/sexual abuse, early childhood traumas, military trauma, immigration, forced displacement and cultural and racial trauma. I have continued my committment to social change through my practice, as well as presenting several talks,on regulating our nervous systems by reclaiming ancient wisdom and day to day cultural practices that help reset our nervous systems. My Tedx talk in 2022, titled “How my Nervous System became my Cup of Tea” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-NQT0C9iKM) addressed one such cultural tradition of drinking tea that helps regulate our nervous systems both through self regulation as well as co-regulation with others.
Other than training/knowledge, what do you think is most helpful for succeeding in your field?
Lessons learned from my experiences in the field, has helped me rely on several attributes. First and foremost, in order to be effective in bringing about social change, it is imperative that we take care of ourselves first. This of course is an ongoing journey, of knowing when we are dysregulated, and how we come back in regulation. Many of the approaches I use are based on practices that integrated mind, body, culture, and spirit. Stress and emotions are stored in our bodies, and learning to tune into both our inner body experience as well as how we show up in the world allows us to “keep our hands on the dial” of regulation. This is easier said than done, and is a daily, and sometimes moment to moment challenge, but one that is well worth the effort.
Secondly, flexibility and fluidity in our approach to dealing with life challenges and opportunities, has taught me that it is possible to let go and think anew on the path we want to take in life.
Finally, it has been very helpful to me to keep in mind the legacy I want to leave behind. This is the guiding light for me in how I want to be in life, and what I want to be remembered for. This allows to filter out all the “noise” of shoulds and have tos determined by others, and simply stay focused on basic values such as being kind, caring, generous, considerate, and doing good to others.
Do you think you’d choose a different profession or specialty if you were starting now?
My enthusiasm for the field of mental health only grows as time passes. My passion is fueled by my determination to provide more access to mental health services. This involves a multipronged approach of increasing the number of mental health practitioners in the field, and increasing access for communities, many of which are historically excluded communities by way of financial status, race, culture, sexual orientation, and the like. Often the term “mental health” is seen as a stigma in many of the communities, and hence, it involves reframing mental health to overal all wellbeing. It also involves creating spaces for wellness professionals to learn ways to partner with excluded communities in meeting those needs. My current efforts are focused on facilitating trainings and programs for communities of color as many of the mental health approaches and trainings are geared towards majority group professionals.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.nmmerchant.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drniloufermerchant
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/niloufer-merchant-9001857/
- Other: Profile: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/niloufer-merchant-maple-grove-mn/362540Talks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1RUGKadioo;
Podcast: https://www.bethberila.com/podcast/polyvagal-theory-and-healing-intergenerational-trauma-of-historically-marginalized-communities-with-niloufer-merchant-and-devika-dibya-choudhuri
Image Credits
Niloufer Merchant