We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Stephanie Hansen a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Stephanie , appreciate you joining us today. What sort of legacy are you hoping to build. What do you think people will say about you after you are gone, what do you hope to be remembered for?

I’ve always wondered what my story would be, and now I’ve never been so sure. Through my trauma experiences in my marriage, I see that there are so many women who are looking for a voice and a reason to choose themselves. I hope my legacy leaves women feeling empowered to stand up for themselves, others, and ignore all stereotypes that hinders their well being. I hope women can find their strength through my story. I don’t take it for granted that this can inspire others to be safe and well.

Stephanie , love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I started opening up about my abusive situation and divorce on social media, scared out of my mind to do so. I realized the 21 year old me would have done anything to realize there are women in my situation, and I wanted to take that step for a woman who may need that one “sign” it’s time to go. When I started posting about it, I was met with so many women (and men) reaching out, asking questions about “when did you know”. This broke me but made me realize through my story of divorce, abuse, and mental health awareness I might be able to build a community and support that I hope every woman can have.

It isn’t just about divorce though, or being the victim. It’s acknowledging something horrible did happen to me, but now that I’m free, what am I to do? I take care of myself in the ways I lost along the way. I pick myself up, go to therapy, and make sure I create a place of safety within me.

There are sadly so many women in abusive relationships, and I especially pay attention to the ones who are hiding in the church.

It’s scary as hell to speak up for yourself, or even to talk about your experience. However, what’s even scarier is realizing the silence of my story could keep someone in their abuse. I want to wake people up.

Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?

There are two identities I had to let go of to be safe: a wife and an avid church goer. Being a wife was one of my biggest desires, and church was my safest place… because I did everything I was told to do. When a woman steps outside of the norm, the “roles” she’s supposed to be in, there’s so much against her. I’ve watched myself build resilience through choosing the more difficult road so I can be here today- alive and well. Admitting you’re in an abusive marriage is the first step, realizing leaving it will collapse any form of identity or perception others have of you is another. I learned to walk bravely, even though I was scared. I lost so many people I loved because they chose the more conservative approach to abuse.

I’m here today, healthy and alive. Breaking the churches patterns, the wife’s’ role to be here is a testament that any woman can get out- and it is worth the pain.

What’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative in your experience?

I lost my voice in my marriage, I lost my identity when I stepped away from church when my home church stood by my abusers side. I’ve gained my voice and seen my identity by being proud of my story and seeing the strength. My story is not one I want to hide, especially if it can help other women (and men) get out of horrible relationships. I don’t want there to be some young woman, scared that she’s crazy and potentially in danger to feel alone. Her story needs to be understood, and it starts with voices against domestic abuse.

I am safe and my best reward is watching other women message me saying “I am so inspired” or “I think I’m in an abusive relationship” and “your videos are helping me so much”.

Abuse tells you you’re not worth anything. Surviving abuse screams from the rooftop we are worth so much, and our stories need to be heard.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: Stephieehansenn
• Other: Stay tuned for podcast ;)

Image Credits

Hailey McIntosh