We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Angie Lin a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Angie, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Do you wish you had waited to pursue your creative career or do you wish you had started sooner?

I started acting at age 24 after an existential crisis post college graduation. Like many others, I had the dream of becoming an actor when I was young. However, I grew up in a traditional environment where creative careers were looked down upon due to financial instability, especially acting – as it comes with invasion of privacy and public scrutiny which my overprotective, well-reputed family was extremely afraid of. I buried the dream as merely a fantasy.

Although I was still pursuing creative jobs such as graphic design and marketing in the corporate world, I didn’t receive much artistic freedom and wasn’t intellectually stimulated. It felt like everyone was put in a box and producing results, factory-line style, but there were so many more skills and wisdom that I never got to utilize. I was a walking dead. Overtime, my depression and alcoholism worsened until one day I had a huge fight with my partner at the time who called me out. I decided to move to Japan to reconnect with hobbies and cultures I’ve maintained from childhood. “I don’t know where this will lead to, but at least I know I’m passionate about it” I thought.

I quit my corporate job, booked my flight, and had one month left in Los Angeles. I wanted to do something special here before I left. Then, I happened to watch Lady Bird, which transported me back to the time when I desperately wanted to be an actor. Well, one month left, it’s Los Angeles and I’m unemployed, so why not, right? I started submitting myself on Backstage and fortunately booked a lead role in a student film. When I was on set, everything just felt right, like all my life events made sense as if they were preparing me for this career, like all the puzzle pieces clicked into place. The rest is history.

Going back to the question – I did wish I started this career sooner. When I chose to give acting a real shot, I had serious panic attacks from the risks attached. I was throwing away my credits in the corporate world; I was testing my already-strained relationship with my parents; I was re-visiting past trauma and putting my insecurities on display. I was restarting my life half-way through, for what? Basically willingly standing naked in front of the world under a magnifying glass – That was the new path. I mean, it was stupid and terrifying.

I think if I had started my acting career as a kid, the stakes wouldn’t feel as high. I wouldn’t feel as much pressure to “make it” knowing what I had to sacrifice. I also felt that there were more resources students could access, whereas every little step in the process costs money when you’re out of school. I still sometimes wish I started acting earlier, seeing how all the actors around me take an average of 10 years to book a significant role. However, I’m happy that I didn’t. I

don’t think I could be as kind as I am today if I started this career earlier. There were a lot of personal growth I had to do over the years – fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, body image issues, trust issues – that would’ve been taken advantage of and gone down a negative cycle if my adolescence was tangled up in industry politics and my mistakes were exposed for public judgement that’s often misinformed. As an adult who has gained incredible tools from therapy and life experiences, I can now manage challenges such as constant rejections, sexual harassment and assaults, discrimination and manipulation in a much healthier way. I am strong, independent, confident and mature enough to continue this path regardless of obstacles, because these challenges don’t affect me to the point where I lose sight of who I am as a human being, before anything else.

I do wish I started some training earlier, like martial arts, but that’s typical human behavior of wanting something you don’t have. Overall, I truly believe that things happen for a reason at the right time and the right place, not only in the sense of spirituality, but also in science – psychologically, we will receive when we are ready to see and seize the opportunity; we will give when we are ready to let go.

Angie, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I am a multi-disciplinary performing artist. Acting is my main career, but I am also a dancer, singer and stunt performer. I got into the industry by self-submitting on acting websites. After a couple years, I accumulated contacts and gathered enough materials to find an agent. From there, my agencies were able to connect me with bigger opportunities, and I met people who introduced me to other fields such as stunts and theater. Recently, I’ve also started writing and directing my own films that reflect my unique aesthetic and inner world. I produce and edit films created in collaboration with my peers as well.

I think what sets me apart from others is that when I have an idea, I just go and do it. I learned from a young age that life is short and fragile. Regrets are what I fear the most, more than death. I think this mindset has set the tone of my approach to everything, from life to career decisions. I don’t wait for company, ask for permission, or let myself get held back by What Ifs. It’s difficult for me as a long-time perfectionist, but I am constantly pushing myself to challenge my perfectionism and urge to control. Despite the desire to produce something great, I truly believe it’s the journey that matters (seriously, I have it tattooed on my arm), so I always make it happen first, then see where it goes, without expectations.

For example, last year my friend spontaneously invited me to a musical Girl from the North Country. It inspired me to start singing again after a hiatus, so I did. I started singing again and now, one year later, I’m in a musical! It’s called Drat! The Cat! currently showing at The Group Rep in North Hollywood. This is where I met the lovely and talented human being Nicole Slatin who recommended me for this interview. Being in a musical myself wasn’t in the plan at all. You just never know where something will lead to!

Another example – I started dancing in high school simply because it looked cool. Whatever I thought was cool, I gave it a try because I didn’t want to regret not trying. I treated everyday like my last day on Earth. I learned dancing, opera singing, drums, ukelele, air pistol, horse riding… the list goes on. Most of them didn’t stick, but dancing became a huge part of my life. I found my chosen family through dancing, and it opened doors for me as an actor. I adapted to musical theater, and stunts very quickly because of my dance background. Dance has also helped me book auditions that are movement focused such as hoverboarding in a Xfinity commercial, recreating a Kobe Bryant moment in a NBA commercial, films about dancers, etc. These are opportunities I never thought possible, and wouldn’t have crossed paths with if I was worried about wasting my time and energy on dance when it didn’t seem to fit the bigger picture at the moment.

So, if questions like “but how do I do that?” “but I don’t know if it’s going to distract me from…” “but maybe now is not the time…” cross your mind, interrupt those doubts and just do it.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

A lesson I had to unlearn is: Vulnerability is a bad thing. Growing up, I did not feel safe anywhere. The physical and emotional abuse at home had a significant impact on my platonic and romantic relationships at school, which were very unhealthy. Authority figures and social workers who had the power to help me were also unsupportive or damaging. I created walls of steels to protect myself. Numbing all my feelings, positive or negative, was my coping mechanism.

As an actor, I am required to reach into the depths of my senses and allow myself to be carried away – the opposite of what I’ve been conditioned to do. I struggle with crying on screen because years of trauma in my body memory tell me I can’t be vulnerable like that if I want to survive. It has been frustrating, since I am an extremely sensitive person behind closed doors. When I can’t cry on screen, I feel like I can’t truly express myself in front of others, and I don’t want to be perceived as incapable, especially when I know the crybaby exists in me – in fact, it’s a huge part of who I am. But how do I blame and hate my brain for trying to keep me alive? Ironic, isn’t it?

I’ve had many friends who reached out and advised me to offer myself some grace. One of them described the process of making oneself cry on screen as “emotional rape” which felt accurate to my experience of providing vulnerability for entertainment. I am still, and will probably forever be, in the process of unlearning this behavior. However, I’ve gained some tools and wisdom on this obstacle.

Firstly, crying does not equal to good acting. There are proof of many good films, actors and directors who moved their audience without crying. Even if tears are involved, they should be earned instead of self-generated for the sake of dramatic effects. Secondly, being vulnerable doesn’t mean crying. Love and joy are also vulnerable. Violence or sexual fantasies are vulnerable. Anything that’s private to you is vulnerable. Knowing this, I was able to let go of my obsession with crying on screen. It’s still annoying when directors expect me to cry on a cue and I can’t do it, but I’ve stopped punishing myself for it. Now, I simply want to experience the entire spectrum of human emotions and see what I learn about myself, how it expands me as an artist. With consistent practice, I’ve also gotten better at immersing myself in a different environment where I do feel that safety to be vulnerable while filming on sets.

I am grateful for acting for opening my heart, and I am excited to see who I become as I continue this journey.

What do you think is the goal or mission that drives your creative journey?

My mission is to rebel through art. I am sick of people underestimating me. I am tired of decorative or scaredy-cat roles offered for Asian women, and I think Asian actors as a collective need to stop feeding into those narratives. My goal is to own my feisty personality unapologetically and fight back against any surface level interpretation people place on me, women, and Asian culture. I want to find people with similar ambition and courage to grow and shine together.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://angielinofficial.com/
• Instagram: angielinofficial
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@angielinofficial

Image Credits

Cameron Radice
Trang Vo
Yilin Wu
Lu Mendoza
David Cheung
Ben Conde
Scott Lewis
Glenalyn Ann