We were lucky to catch up with Thaina Cordero recently and have shared our conversation below.

Thaina, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. What was one of the most important lessons you learned in school? Why did that lesson stick with you?

Completing my doctorate and building the foundation for this business through social media and community networking has involved a process of rapid, painful growth. Part of the process is to reassess your own experiences, biases, and history. Having to grieve the lost parts of myself, reclaim my body, and making peace with pleasure has been a journey.

I grew up in a community-oriented country (Puerto Rico). Where the sexual double-standard is rampant. Your body is an object for others to enjoy and judge. Sexual Health Education can be boiled down to “Best to not have sex. If you do, don’t get pregnant, don’t get STIs”. There were no role models for healthy communication, emotional regulation, or any teachings about sexual pleasure.

During the years of doctoral school, I was frequently confronted with my discomfort and having to face the sexual communication skills missing in my relationship. We’ve been married for over a decade… Then starting to create social media with myself in front of a camera, resurged all the badmouthing I’ve received in my life about my body, appearance, and not being “girly” enough.

All this has helped me befriend my body, sexuality, and experience pleasure in a way that I’d have never known if I did not do what I do for a living…

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

There were plenty of crumbs along the way that led me to become a Sex Counselor. Throughout my teen years, I was continuously pushing back on genderized ideas of how people should look and behave. That included being a girl with a strong interest in sex, which was not very accepted…

I joke that I wanted to be like Rozalin from Meet the Fuckers. The first scene with her it’s a yoga type class with seniors where they focus on sexual health and adaptive positions with props. They’re so happy, open, and really enjoying themselves and each other.

I always enjoyed the stretching part of workouts… I started doing yoga more than 10 years ago and it was a refreshing experience. For the first time, it was OK to be as I was. No pushing through, no forced performance or feeling bad for how I was. It was the first experience I had where I had permission to meet my body with grace, find enjoyable movement, and just be with myself. Later I dived into the research of trauma healing through somatic practices (such as yoga).

I found Gottman and other highly influential people in the field of couples work trying to find a solution to our own problems. I witness a myriad of unhealthy relationship patters growing up, same for my husband. We really got into a committed relationship, later having children, with cero relationship skills.

A few years later… I have always been an avid reader for books about psychology and related topics. While working as an office administrator for a mental health group practice, I read “Sex Made Simple” and wondered if I could do some sort of Sex Coach certification or something similar. I ended up enrolling in the PhD in Clinical Sexology program and later found out the author of that book is one of the presenters and supervisors at the institute. Felt meant to be!

I now combine my experience in community building, yoga, education, and sexology through workshops, private and group sessions.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

When my clients come back very surprised after trying a tool and it being wonderful to help them manage their emotion or communication, I joked “that’s why I’m so good at this job. I’m pretty f up myself. That’s how I know it works!”. I went my whole life undiagnosed with plenty symptoms of chronic pain, ADHD and cyclothymia (a mood disorder). Understanding patterns and learning tools that help me take care of myself in the highs, lows, and moments of being paralyzed by the “burning fire” of procrastination has been a journey, to say the least!

I have the most utter compassion for my clients because I understand what it is like to see what’s happening and still feel betrayed by your body. The tools I bring to sessions are backed by science, but are those that I deeply believe in because they’re what have helped me be regulated(ish) amidst the difficulties of life.

How’d you build such a strong reputation within your market?

I’ve made great efforts delivering exceptional service to clients and sending them with a curated list of resources (no gatekeeping!). I keep myself informed and always learning how I can bring the most effectiveness to help my clients reach their goals, bringing more ease and pleasure within their bodies and relationships. I also carefully build relationships with health care providers and other community members. I’m currently building a project and you can see through my social media how collaborations are blossoming.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://drthainacordero.org
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/drthainacordero
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thaina.cordero
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@BiteSizeSexEd

Image Credits

Pics with the shirt Growth and floral: Emily Denton Photography
Graduation and burgundy dress: Angelina E Photography
Swing (boudoir picture): Traci Lang Intimates Portraiture