Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Nakia Zanders. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Nakia, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. If you had a defining moment that you feel really changed the trajectory of your career, we’d love to hear the story and details.

I have spent 10 years getting education , skills, and certifications in leading, mentoring, advising, and offering spiritual care . I spent another 10 years doing the work and perfecting my practice and I was not sure if my work and involvement with thousands of people was making a difference, however when I was tasked to go on an Army Deployment November 2023 and was suddenly in a foreign country with strangers, away from every familiar way of life, now, every experience for the last 20 years made sense and was crystal clear to me concerning my gift and my purpose. I was placed in 3 different leadership roles , at the same time, that was new for me but I felt very comfortable and prepared to accept the challenge. The feedback I received from everyone who I was now leading was overwhelming in that my work impacted them in such a way that either motivated them to make changes in their own lives or that I taught them something that changed the trajectory of where they themselves were headed. Many said they had hope, a better understanding of their situation, and had a plan to move forward. Most of the women said they had never seen or had great examples of female leadership they they could relate to. I want others to know that every moment and experience , both good and bad in your life are test and rehearsals to lead you to the day that you own who you have become and understand that your gift of purpose, forever connects you to God and to Humanity.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I started my business in 2014 as a result of a marriage that ended. I found a therapist, I told her I didn’t want to talk about the difficulties in the marriage or ways to keep trying. I tried for 14 years and I decided that season was over and I should focus on moving forward. The result of that therapy was helping me to discover me again apart from being a wife and mother. and discovering what legacy I wanted to leave for my family and how I want to contribute to others. Mary and Martha Mentoring was the platform for the work I wanted to offer. The main problem I discovered of why relationships are difficult, why people find themselves burned out or very dissatisfied with their current life is because they lack balance. Balance , spiritually , physically, and mentally. What sets Mary and Martha Mentoring apart from others is that we provide a customized approach to giving every person a plan that will help the person reclaim and maintain balance in their life. We teach emotional hygiene and healthy habits to have the life you deserve. The products include a planner/journal that inspires growth and change, a course on self care, devotionals that are geared toward grief and depression and a program called Sacred Servant which is a New approach for nurturing the soul of healthcare Chaplains : Loving others as you love yourself. I am most proud of the brand that represents how to survive the juggle and the struggle to have balance in today’s high demands , non stop world.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

Resilience has always been a part of my life because of my childhood experience being bon into a military family. This gave me the skill of flexibility and adaptation. Raising my three children taught me how to balance, plan, adapt and overcome adversity. I myself joined the Army and I married a military man. We started a family and the most challenging time is when my husband at the time, had to deploy to Afghanistan. I was left alone to raise three children who were age 5, 8, and 10. Not only was I alone but I was completing my Clinical Pastoral education internship at a heart hospital that required me to be on call. Very quickly I learned to delegate chores to each child, establish routines, rewards, and structure in my home, while keeping up with the demands of work and being a student. Structure was the foundation for holding all of my duties together and my reason for staying the course was my passion to live my calling.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

I learned failure is not final nor is it negative. I enrolled in a Master’s of Public health and I was doing very well in my program however I received an F in one class after turning in all of my assignments late and did not turn in my final project at all because I had nothing left to give and I decided I could not do anymore . fell behind because while doing an online course, I was also deployed, During that 8 week term I was forced to put the mission first and I was operating on very little rest. I was experiencing pain in my stomach that I already had been feeling for three years but became worse. I went to the doctor, had tests and x-rays done. Three doctors made a recommendation for me to have surgery but they were not sure exactly what the cause was but the recommendation was surgery to eliminate a possible cause. The fourth doctor reviewed everything and asked me what other things I was doing in my life spiritually and mentally. When I told him he looked at me and said stress was causing this pain. He was a surgeon with 25 years of experience and was sure about the cause. Therefore with the 4th doctor’s finding and me earning a grade of F, bringing my 4.0 average down, the failure was an indicator of me needing to change directions and take a break. Failure was good and created the reason for me to pause. I spoke to me teacher, explained everything and I was allowed to turn in my final project that I was able to complete with no problem. I needed the rest and I did not have the fear of failure which was a behavior I learned because failure means I don’t measure up.