We were lucky to catch up with Ashley Nichole Walkowiak recently and have shared our conversation below.

Ashley Nichole, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Before we get into specifics, let’s talk about success more generally. What do you think it takes to be successful?

In recent years, I have been struck by the dichotomies of life. Perhaps it is the poet in me that recognizes that this life is both heartbreaking and beautiful and we must hold space for both if we are to be successful. In today’s world where we are consistently on the go, often distracted, and urged to conform our views to the masses, it is easy to get caught up in the good vs bad mentality. But the reality is – as all artists know – life is both black and white, habitually a greyscale. This is also the hardest lesson I’ve deconstructed and learned to embrace, kickstarted by five years serving in the Pennsylvania Office of Victim Advocate, a state agency dedicated to the rights and interests of crime victims. Working with crime survivors and coming face to face with the most heinous and violent atrocities also provided a deep look into the beauty and resiliency of humanity. Sinking into writing in my spare time has allowed me space to process my own trauma and the vicarious trauma of serving others. It has provided the nourishment my soul needs to continue a public service career.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

I often describe myself as a survivor-advocate-author. My days are filled with state government advocacy work where I’ve held various roles from crime victims’ rights administration to civil rights and conflict resolution and most recently leading the Governor’s Advisory Commission on Women. I also serve on the Board of Directors for the Pennsylvania Children’s Advocacy Centers. CACs provide a multi-disciplinary approach for children and families to access sexual assault forensic exams and work with law enforcement in a trauma-informed format.

A few years ago, my brother and I co-published a short volume of art and poetry, Found. Still lost., centered around acknowledging grief and trauma. We both learned that validating complex life experiences is a key aspect in healing. As a stalking and rape survivor, it took nearly a decade for me to speak about what happened to me when I was just a high school student and to seek help. The ways in which I processed that trauma were vast, but writing was a key component. I could grieve for the self that was taken with my pen and in it share words that I couldn’t dislodge from my throat. And that radical act of expulsion changed my life.

Jorie Graham, an American poet, once shared that “A poem is a private story, after all, no matter how apparently public. The reader is always overhearing a confession.”

After we were published by Sunbury Press, I found myself doing readings in bookstores, art galleries, and libraries which organically turned into trauma workshops. Acknowledging the dark side of healing led to many whispered encounters which usually began with “I’ve never told anyone this but…” It was an honor to be trusted with these long held and delicate feelings and to refer so many survivors to free services provided by local rape crisis centers and domestic violence shelters. It only increased my desire to promote access to healing – and specifically art for healing – in any space that I am able to, because you can engage in art in various mediums and capacities. Art never says no, it never turns away, it never questions. You can pick it up after a fever dream of repulsive memories, on a 5-minute break from work, on the back deck of your aunt’s house when you need a breather.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

I believe that love is an act of resilience. Love is often reclaiming. And the things that women reclaim are voices, imagination, values, ancestral memories, and depth.

When women are 51% of the population, but 70% of the poor, and 83% of the single parents – waking up and doing life is resilience in action. Doing it with love, well, what an act of defiance.

How do you keep your team’s morale high?

What I’ve learned from so much trauma work – both personally and professionally – is that everyone is carrying something that we can’t see. Sometimes, it is even repressed memories that are impacting daily life and your teammate may have no conscious idea. The best morale booster is empathy.

While we can’t ever promise “a safe space” because we don’t know what someone’s triggers might be – and they may not even know themselves – we can strive to be a “safer” space for everyone we meet. Leading with kindness isn’t difficult. And your team will notice it, feel it, and will reciprocate.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.sunburypress.com/products/found-still-lost?_pos=1&_sid=177fc3197&_ss=r&variant=39798706667613
• Instagram: @ashleyafterall
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ashleyafterall
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashley-n-walkowiak-57392882/

Image Credits

Primary photo by Gabriel Spangler