We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Asha Paulose a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Asha, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. What did your parents do right and how has that impacted you in your life and career?
My parents did so many things right, and their choices have profoundly shaped who I am today. Immigrating to the United States from Kerala, India, in the 1970s, they had no close family nearby to lean on. Every decision they made had to be calculated and intentional. Despite those challenges, they built successful careers, raised four children, supported extended family, and became pillars of their growing church community. Their journey is nothing short of inspiring. Here’s what they did right:
They had a clear vision and unwavering discipline.
My parents were always guided by their vision of giving their siblings and, later, their children the best opportunities in this country. They could have focused solely on their own lives, but as the eldest in their families, they took on the immense responsibility of sponsoring their siblings to immigrate. This required incredible discipline—they lived simply, gave up luxuries, and made sacrifices not for instant gratification but for the long-term success of their entire generation. Watching their dedication taught me the power of long-term thinking.
They showed unconditional love and service to others.
My parents’ love was a constant presence, and their actions spoke volumes. No matter how busy my parents are they always dropped everything to make themselves available. All of our friends and family has probably received a ride home from my Dad or a meal from my mom. Their phone number that they have had since the 80s is the only number most of us can recite from memory since you can rely on them to pick up—a small act, but one that made us feel valued and secure. They are always ready to help when you are in need or celebrate along side you when you achieve. Their unwavering generosity is something I’ve carried forward, especially in my efforts to give back to the Malayalee American community through my law practice.
They encouraged independence and the pursuit of education.
They were absolutely committed to our education. They checked all four of our homework assignments each night. If the work was too easy for us, they would create their own assignments! We had to write a report on a newspaper article, finish a higher level math sheet or learn vocabulary words. There was also Family Bible study and prayer each night. The importance of coming tofether as a family to pursue higher learning was instilled in us. While my parents, like many others, might have secretly wished for a doctor or engineer in the family, they never imposed their dreams on us. They allowed us to follow our passions as long as we could articulate the value of what we were pursuing. This trust was pivotal in my decision to study law. When we were exploring colleges, they rejected the cultural norm of keeping kids close to home and instead encouraged all of us to live on campus and experience independence. Even in high school, they gave us the freedom to make decisions, take risks, and learn from our mistakes. This nurturing of independence and a love of learning instilled confidence in me that has been invaluable in my career.
They prioritized people over money.
My parents never chased wealth, and they taught us to value people and purpose above all else. For them, success wasn’t measured by the size of a bank account but by the relationships they built and the lives they touched. They believed in living simply—not out of deprivation but as a way to invest in what truly mattered: family, education, and community. Growing up, I witnessed countless examples of this mindset. Whether it was sponsoring a relative’s immigration, driving 8 hours to visit my sister in college every semester, or hosting gatherings for our church community, my parents were always willing to give their time, energy, and resources to others. Now that I am an adult, I realize how truly sacrificial that was. They would open their doors to family and friends without hesitation, even when money was tight. Their philosophy gave me the confidence to pursue a career in law, knowing that my success would be defined not by monetary rewards but by the impact I could have on others.
My law firm is, in many ways, a love letter to my parents. It embodies the values they instilled in me—a commitment to community, consistency, and service over quick financial gain. The firm is designed to be a dependable place where people can seek advice and support without fear of being rushed or overlooked. Just as my parents provided a stable foundation for their family and community, my goal is to create a space that clients can rely on. Every client interaction, every educational workshop, and every mentorship opportunity I offer is a reflection of their living legacy. I am so grateful for their unwavering sacrifice and love. I recognize that my journey would not have been possible without their guidance and values woven through my own timeline. In every client meeting, community workshop, or pro bono initiative, I feel my parents’ influence guiding me. Their belief in the power of human connection has not only shaped me as an individual but has also become the foundation of my law practice.
Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.
Hi, I’m Asha Paulose, an Elder Law and Estate Planning attorney and the proud owner of a virtual law firm serving clients across Long Island, New York City, the Hudson Valley. My mission is simple yet profound: to make estate planning and elder law accessible, affordable, and meaningful for every family—regardless of their circumstances.
My path to elder law and estate planning wasn’t a straight line. I started in other legal roles that gave me invaluable experience, but I always felt drawn to something more personal. I kept seeing the same challenges in my community—first-generation immigrant families struggling to navigate elder care, asset protection, and estate planning. These families, who had already overcome so much, deserved someone who truly understood their stories and could help them protect their legacies. That realization is what led me to build a practice that focuses on providing peace of mind to families during some of the most vulnerable moments of their lives.
Every family I work with has a unique story, and it’s a privilege to help them write the next chapter. Whether I’m helping parents ensure their children are cared for, safeguarding assets from long-term care costs, or preserving a loved one’s legacy, I approach every case with empathy. To me, estate planning isn’t just about legal documents—it’s about giving families the confidence and clarity they need to face the future.
I’m most proud of owning my own law firm, a dream I didn’t always believe was possible. What makes my firm special is that it’s built on my terms. Success, for me, isn’t measured by profits or material milestones—it’s defined by the freedom to pursue projects that inspire me, to balance my work and family life, and to genuinely serve my clients with creativity and care.
None of this would have been possible without the incredible support system : my family and friends have been incredible. Every milestone I’ve reached is a testament to their unwavering belief in me.
I’m also fortunate to have a professional accountability partner, Jill Roth-Gutman (check her out at rothgutmanlaw.com). Jill and I started our law firms around the same time, and we’ve been each other’s secret weapons ever since. We brainstorm ideas, troubleshoot legal issues, and remind each other of our value when self-doubt creeps in. Having that kind of partnership has been invaluable—it’s made me a better attorney and a stronger business owner.
My priority is helping individuals secure their future and protect their loved ones. Estate planning is not just for the wealthy—it is essential for anyone who wants to ensure their wishes are honored. I offer complimentary consultations for those seeking guidance. Feel free to reach out.
Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?
I was working for an incredible company with some fantastic bosses and amazing perks—complimentary coffee and cookies, a gym just steps away from my cubicle, and even a matching 401(k) contribution. The job itself was challenging and full of opportunities to learn. On paper, it was perfect. But there was a problem: I didn’t feel like I was growing into the best version of myself. It felt like I was constantly pushing against my weaknesses rather than building on my strengths.
Over time, that disconnect took its toll. I wasn’t the happiest employee, and that wasn’t fair to my team. To find some joy outside of work, I started exploring other interests. I created a community group, volunteered after hours and on weekends, and even took night classes just for fun. It helped a little, but deep down, I was still feeling unfulfilled. The spark just wasn’t there, and I realized I needed something different.
Around that time, I volunteered at the local Historical Society, where I met the Board Treasurer. His email signature caught my eye—it said he was an Elder Law Attorney. I wasn’t familiar with Elder Law, but something about it piqued my interest. So, I decided to take a chance. I picked up the phone and called him, asking if he could tell me more about what he did. He was kind enough to give me a great overview of the field.
With a deep breath, I mustered the courage to say, “I’m really interested in this area of law. If you know anyone I could intern with or shadow for a day, I’d love the opportunity.” He told me he’d look into it. Two weeks later, at our monthly Historical Society meeting, he surprised me by offering me a position as an associate attorney at his firm.
Leaving behind my company perks (and my salary!) wasn’t an easy decision, especially as a new mom. But something told me this was the change I needed. I jumped in headfirst, and from the very first day, I knew I had made the right choice. The work was challenging, but I loved every minute of it. I soaked up every ounce of wisdom from my two incredible bosses and fully immersed myself in the world of Elder Law.
That decision completely changed my life. It wasn’t just a career shift—it was a transformation. For the first time, I felt aligned with my purpose, and I’ve never looked back.
Are there any books, videos, essays or other resources that have significantly impacted your management and entrepreneurial thinking and philosophy?
StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath is more than just a book—it’s a mindset shift. It challenges the traditional notion that success comes from fixing your weaknesses and instead emphasizes the power of identifying and leveraging your unique strengths. The book includes an assessment that reveals your top talents across 34 themes, such as empathy, strategic thinking, adaptability, and communication. For me, taking this assessment was a game-changer.
Before reading the book, I was constantly caught in a cycle of self-criticism. No matter how great the job or the perks, I couldn’t help but focus on what I wasn’t good at. I spent so much energy obsessing over my weaknesses—trying to improve in areas that didn’t come naturally to me—that I failed to recognize what I truly brought to the table. It was exhausting and, frankly, disheartening.
When I completed the StrengthsFinder assessment, it was like a lightbulb moment. Seeing my top strengths laid out in front of me was eye-opening. It wasn’t just about naming qualities I vaguely remember I had—it was about understanding how to harness those strengths to thrive, both personally and professionally. The book made me realize that the path to fulfillment wasn’t through trying to become someone I wasn’t, but by leaning into the person I already was.
Reflecting on my professional journey, I could finally see why I felt out of place in my previous job, even though it checked all the right boxes on paper. It wasn’t that the job was bad—it just didn’t align with my natural talents. Instead of allowing my strengths to shine, I had spent years trying to compensate for my weaknesses, which only left me feeling drained and dissatisfied.
This realization was pivotal in my decision to pursue a career in Elder Law. Once I embraced my strengths—such as empathy, communication, and a deep sense of service—I found a path that truly resonated with me. Elder Law allowed me to lean into those strengths every day, helping individuals and families navigate some of life’s most challenging transitions. It was work that felt meaningful and aligned with who I was at my core.
StrengthsFinder 2.0 didn’t just teach me about my strengths—it gave me permission to stop apologizing for what I wasn’t and start celebrating who I was. This shift in mindset shaped not only my career but also the way I approached building my law firm.
I chose not to measure the firm’s success by traditional metrics like client volume or billable hours. Instead, I defined success on my own terms: picking up my kid from school, having the freedom to pursue other interests, and going above and beyond for my clients. These priorities allowed me to create a practice that aligned with my values and strengths, making my work not only fulfilling but also deeply meaningful.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.ashapaulose.com
- Instagram: PauloseLaw
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PauloseLaw/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/aw-office-of-asha-paulose/?viewAsMember=true
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@PauloseLaw
Image Credits
Professional Photos by Oksana Pali