Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Dolores Cruz. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Dolores, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Let’s kick things off with your mission – what is it and what’s the story behind why it’s your mission?

We all have an assumption about life, an idea about how it should play out. We grow up, go to school, have boyfriends or girlfriends, maybe get married, maybe go to college, hopefully have a career we enjoy, maybe get married, maybe have kids, maybe buy a house —and this is all good.
But life is life, and it is often filled with great challenges, not the least of which is the death of a loved one. The rug is pulled out from underneath us, and we are faced with a deep pain that we do not know what to do with. The heartache is unwelcome and certainly not part of the plan.
So what do we often do? We bury the pain, tuck it away, put on a face for others that we are okay. After all, we don’t want to upset them and they don’t want to feel the pain with us. They want us to be okay which helps them to be okay as well. Then we distract ourselves as much as we can so as to escape the pain.
But the grief does not go away. It is merely hidden and will undoubtedly show itself at some point, and then again, and again. This grief needs to be acknowledged, witnessed, and honored, for allowing the grief to be expressed is the best way to move towards healing.
My mission is to bring grief awareness to the forefront, to remove the stigma that it is a bad thing to be avoided. My books, Look Around and A Bird Called Wisdom were written as an expression of my own grief and as a catalyst to open up this important discussion of a part of life that is common to every one of us in one way or another.

As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?

My life had unfolded more or less as planned. I graduated from college, earned my teaching credential and began teaching elementary school, got married, began my family, and bought a home. I was a busy wife and mother of four wonderful kids. They had all grown up and were starting their own lives. Yes, there were challenges along the way, but all moved along more or less as expected.

Until the day the sheriff and coroner pounded on my front door at 5:30 am, informing me that my youngest, my 24-year-old son, Eric, had been killed in a car accident. It was as if a cannonball had been shot into my chest and stomach. I was broken into a million pieces. I felt as if I had free fallen into a deep, dark abyss. I was flailing in grief. I didn’t know how to live again without my son. I didn’t know how I would ever find joy again. It’s not that I didn’t think it was possible. I just didn’t know how.

It was in my nature to do two things: 1 – feel my grief, and 2 – talk about it. Something inside me knew there was a way forward. I was naturally guided to read all I could about grief and healing, including books on the spirituality of this experience. I immediately found an excellent grief specialist/therapist. I found two different grief support communities where I learned firsthand about the healing power of group support. And I began to write, for I wanted to honor my son as well as share his story and mine.

Since that day almost eight years ago, I have written two books, co-authored another one, started an online blog on the theme of grief and healing, co-written a screenplay, and published two articles for HuffPost. I have been interviewed on a number of podcasts, participating in constructive discussions on grief and growth. I now facilitate in the same two grief support groups that helped me so much early in my journey.

I believe grief should be witnessed, acknowledged, and expressed. I believe this important conversation will help people navigate their ways through this unavoidable challenge in life. I believe we are here to help each other and support each other in any way we can.

Looking back, are there any resources you wish you knew about earlier in your creative journey?

I have always felt confident in my writing abilities, but when I decided to write a book, I was starting from scratch. My heart and soul were in the right place, and the story I wished to share did unfold easily. But self-publishing a book is a huge undertaking and I had to figure out how where to start and what each next step was. I knew some people who had self-published books, so their advice was invaluable. Yet I had so much to learn about the process. I eventually found independent contractors who could help with editing, formatting, and cover design. Still, as with anything when you first venture out, it is a bit of hit and miss, trial and error. I found Jane Friedman’s website quite helpful. She offers many resources on writing and book publishing including many affordable online classes.

For you, what’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative?

Deep inside each of us is the truth of who we are. Here resides the unique gifts we have to offer the world. It is easy to get caught up in what the world expects or what others think we should do. But to create means to express your true self. This act of creation feels like a breath of fresh air, a purging of outside expectations and a realization of the real you. And doing so is healing.

Every one of us has a story to tell. We read books and watch movies about people, about their lives, about their heartbreak, failures, and successes. I always say that each of our lives could be a book or a movie. This is the essence of an artist, his/her deepest self.

The artist reveals him/herself through the paint, the music, the dance, the poem, the character, the story. The finished piece is a satisfying reward, but I find the expression itself to be the most valuable reward of all. The process is where we encounter each moment, each thread of the tapestry. The journey is the joy.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.doloreslookaround.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dolorescruzauthor/
• Facebook: Dolores Cruz Author
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dolores-cruz-9505054b/
• Other: Blog: https://doloreslookaround.blogspot.com/Books:
  Look Around – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CTMXR9BW/
  A Bird Called Wisdom – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CJ7GM4PD/

  Articles:
  https://www.huffpost.com/entry/son-died-unexpectedly-grief_n_633e01cde4b04cf8f369d425
  https://www.huffpost.com/entry/24-year-old-son-died-unexpectedly-heard-his-voice-say-4-words-gave-peace_n_654c080fe4b0e3ecaf8c1744