Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Lauryn Johnson. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Lauryn, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. So let’s jump to your mission – what’s the backstory behind how you developed the mission that drives your brand?
Suicide. Suicide.
The day I almost died.
But He promised me LIFE.
Life that came with a price that I did not understand then…
That was it. It was the summer of 2010. I wanted my life to be over. I had just graduated from college with accolades, many accomplishments, and a reputation perceived to be bound for success. Yet I was done putting up with the nonsense. I was hurt and ashamed. I felt very low, and, as the cliché goes: “I was sick and tired of being sick and tired”.
I had low self-esteem. I saw no value in me or who I could potentially be. I was void of purpose (at least I thought so). I had no self-worth. The vision I had for my life was a myriad of shattered, foggy glass stained by hopes deferred. My life was not going the way I felt it should go so I said: “This is it!” I am done. I am through with my life.
Fast forward to 2016. I survived.
I survived one of the greatest, consistent pains of my life, which was later diagnosed as clinical depression, and unbeknownst to me, I was shifting into one of the greatest gains of my life. With a multitude of disappointments and struggles still present coupled with many great times, God further expanded my ability to see what He was doing within me all along.
Then one day, He spoke to me and told me: “It’s time to shift, Lauryn!”
Late one evening, I sat in my apartment living room accompanied by my roommate and was inspired to draft the first iteration of His instructions to me. I became an entrepreneur – one purposed to lead (wo)men to gain clarity and confidence in who they are meant to be while aligning their life (and business) with what God envisions.
Simultaneously, I discovered that the price of life often comes by way of various challenges designed to bring forth opportunities to see God’s vision more clearly. Whatever I had gone through, what I was going through, and what I would go through in life held valuable lessons and blessings critical to a fulfilling, God-centered life. I held on to this new outlook and perspective on life from this moment forward.
Therefore, when the pains of clinical depression, suicide ideations and attempts collided with God’s purpose and vision for my life yet again, I knew I was (re)learning that nothing can stop me from being all God is constantly developing me to be. And as a result, during the summer of 2016, I launched and built ELLE JAY Leads*, which is a coaching, motivational speaking, and consulting company that empowers believers of diverse entrepreneurial backgrounds to live life purposefully in alignment with God’s vision for their life (and business).
As always, we appreciate you sharing your insights and we’ve got a few more questions for you, but before we get to all of that can you take a minute to introduce yourself and give our readers some of your back background and context?
Born to lead. Compelled to empower. Determined to inspire. My name is Lauryn Johnson (more affectionately known as “Elle Jay”). I am a visionary leader, coach, motivational speaker, and consultant who specializes in vision alignment. As a lover of Christ, I remain imperfectly devoted to honoring Him while mobilizing the missions of my nonprofit organization, T.R.U.S.T., Inc. (founded in 2005), as well as my business ELLE JAY Leads* (founded in 2016).
It is no surprise that I find purpose in leading (wo)men to fulfill the next dimension of God’s vision for their lives for it has always been a passion of mine. My primary strategy is getting persons like you to recognize and operate in what God has already placed inside of you – gifts of vision and purpose. I also relish in providing avenues for people to maximize their God-given potential in life (and business) through ELLE JAY Leads* services and programs such as my:
• 1-on-1 Coaching Program
• Group Coaching Program
• Speaking Engagements
• Live Retreats, Events & Workshops
• Social Media Broadcasts
• Etc.
Having faith in action, living purposefully, and being accountable, transparent, and honest is my life and business’ motto. Clients who work with me and/or have interacted with my business endeavors often leave with much clarity, a sense of purpose, and the confidence necessary to fulfill God’s vision for their life in alignment with who they are meant to be!
Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?
Ch. Ch. Ch. Vroom… Vroom. Vroom. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Vrooooooooooooom.
Ch. Vrooom…
Then.
Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch… nothing.
It did not start. No vroom.
These sounds were once associated with attempts to start my beloved vehicle. Cranking up my car, Black Beauty, was like playing a game of roulette. Every time I turned the key in Black Beauty’s ignition switch, I sat anxiously hoping that when the ball lost momentum inside the wheel of my ignition switch, the croupier (Black Beauty’s engine) would shout: “Vroom!”
I often had good luck playing Black Beauty roulette until this one moment.
It did not start. No vroom.
And conveniently and ever so subtly challenging circumstances coupled with clinical depression found its way back in my life as if it said:
“Do not forget you are on the verge of breaking down, too.”
With a tearful, perplexed response, I said:
“Wait. What? How did I get back here again?”
Just like playing “roulette” with my vehicle, I would gain enough momentum to push forward in life until, one day, my luck ran out.
Challenging circumstances overwhelmed me. I was in a ton of debt. I was experiencing the aftermath of an untimely death in my family. I had a terrible employer while suffering through recurring episodes of depression and anxiety.
What I did not know then that I know now is that resilience was written in my life story. Knowing this fact of life, I had to come up with strategies – strategies that honored God and helped me overcome luring bad habits that went against my resiliency. These strategies took and still take deliberate effort and add daily to my innate nature and ways of living.
“The steps of a [good and righteous] man are directed and established by the Lord, and He delights in his way [and blesses his path]. When he falls, he will not be hurled down, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand and sustains him.”
– Psalm 37: 23-24 Amplified Version
Here are my strategies that I still use to this day:
STRATEGY # 1 – I call for help. Remember, my car did not start. No vroom. So, what did I do next? As tears profusely rolled down my face, I immediately called someone to help me resolve my car issues. Equally, I did the same for me. “As uncomfortable as this is, this is a call for help.” This is a snippet of a text message sent to a group of trusted friends once my car issues were resolved. I realized I had no more faith nor strength to endure the pains of life’s circumstances alone. I put my pride and emotions aside and called for help, and I have continued to do so since then. I also consistently seek professional help through therapy, psychiatry, life and business coaching, etc.
STRATEGY # 2 – I make a daily decision. Shortly after the time my car did not start and life’s circumstances began to overwhelm me, I made a decision and declared that I WILL LIVE AND NOT DIE! It is not easy to overcome painful circumstances of life; however, I know His word says: I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord (see Psalm 118:17 King James Version). I decide daily that my words and actions will coincide with my belief in God’s Word even if the journey of the day do not reflect my decision.
STRATEGY # 3 – I accept vulnerability. I hated vulnerability. Let me type this statement again for greater emphasis: I HATED VULNERABILITY! My hatred was rooted in the strong black woman complex yet the truth was and still is that vulnerability is not weakness. Instead, it is strength. It promotes authenticity. Furthermore, it allows God to step in and provide deeper connection with myself and others. Likewise, as vulnerability researcher and storyteller, Dr. Brené Brown, stated: “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it is having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it is our most accurate measure of courage.”
STRATEGY # 4 – I eliminate the weight of perfection. If I had it my way, life would mimic the pleasures of comfortably riding in a self-driven vehicle that allows me to enjoy the views of my manifested dreams and visions. When traffic, bad weather, or breakdowns occur (i.e., life’s challenging circumstances, etc.), I would simply press a button to transform my vehicle into an airplane, place a shield around it, or instantaneously fix it so I can arrive to my destiny in my timing with the least bit of restraint. This imagery of my perfectionistic mindset is toxic and burdensome. And as someone who still struggles with perfectionism, I often find perfectionism to be an unrealistic, waste of time that prevents God from equipping me with what is necessary to get to His destiny for my life.
STRATEGY # 5 – I choose to be teachable, moldable, and to take it easy on myself. A part of my destiny is human error, disappointment, feelings of losing at life, wanting to give up, and so much more. But nevertheless, I move forward towards my destiny in obedience to God despite difficulties. I place the key to life’s journey (God) obediently back into my ignition switch (my mind) and turn it away from my wicked thoughts and wait on God to give me His big, loud, promising “Vroom!” Just like He did when I placed my key back in Black Beauty’s ignition switch a few hours after it broke down.
Yes, life can be challenging at times, but I know my vehicle and my life will eventually give off another big ch. Ch. Ch. Vroom. Vroom. Vroom, and I will make it not only to my next destination but also to another piece of my destiny!
We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?
“This is my year of self-investment!” she titled it.
Yes, the “she” was me. Loud, proud, and in color, I proclaimed 2018 as the year focused on investing in me and my personal endeavors. After all of what 2017 took me through, I was sure 2018 would result in a more colorful self-portrait. Instead of a canvas filled with dark strokes of pain with depressing stains, I envisioned life’s paintbrush dipped several times in vibrancy, prosperity, assuredness, accomplishments, and a peace of mind. Simply put, I envisioned a brighter picture.
Now, do not be misled, overall, 2018 was a good year. I had more highs than lows. It was like sitting in a paint and sip class instructed by my Lord and Savior. He gave me the final picture for 2018 on a pencil sketched canvas and I sipped wine emblematic of passed time. Trying my hardest to stay within His lines, stroke by stroke, I painted my own self-portrait. After all, 2018 was about investing in me, right?
His Word offered encouragement. My themed scripture for 2018 was 3 John 1:2 New King James Version and it reads:
“Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.”
After listening to a sermon on this very scripture by one of my favorite preachers, Bishop T. D. Jakes, my confidence in this being my year heightened. However, as Bishop’s daughter, Sarah Jakes Roberts, jocosely says, “chiillleeee…” I was out of line.
So, what picture am I trying to paint for you? It is one of many blessings coated in a spectrum of paint colors displaying different lessons. The 2018 portrait of my life has dried and it now hangs in an envisioned and reflective museum of my life. However, the former portrait title of “this is my year of self-investment!” has since changed to “chiillleeee… let me teach you a lesson on what true self-investment is about!”
So, let’s get to it. Here is a short depiction of one of several cherished lessons of 2018:
After toying with the idea of going bankrupt for a couple of years, I stood in bankruptcy court humiliated, fearful, and regretful of the amount of debt I accumulated during my early 20s. I no longer could bear the burden of my mistakes so I took steps to file bankruptcy. To file, I had to collect all my debts and debtors’ information, present my case to a judge, and plea for him or her to remove my responsibilities of paying back all I owed. Although I was terrified and embarrassed throughout the entire process, there was so much freedom gained once the judge and my bankruptcy lawyer confirmed that many of my debts were erased. Finally, I was able to let go of the worries surrounding how I was going to become debt free on my own.
Hence the first lesson learned in self-investment is the power of letting go. I learned we must let go of everything that can deter us from the picture God wants to paint for our lives. This daily and continual exercise includes letting go of past mistakes, experiences, hurts, and even ill practices and behaviors. It also includes letting go of all fears, worries, anxieties, humiliations, regrets, and any and everything that influences us to draw outside of those lines not a part of God’s painting for our lives. Yes, that also includes the picture we already drew in our minds that we believe to be perfect in our sight.
Remember, God is the Master painter who knew us before we knew us. He already has the perfect combination of life strokes for us to be everything He has called each of us to individually be. Relinquish control and take the introspective steps necessary to let it all go immediately. Do not delay. Doing so will only cause more harm than good. He waits for us to let it all go in exchange for the receipt of His canvas, which gives us the freedom to never have to worry about how we will make it on our own.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.ellejayleads.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellejayleads/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellejayleads
- Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/ellejayleads
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHNT1ksz4wUSpkc_jFdJPlg
Image Credits
C’na Roberts Photography Tori Del Photography