We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Zachary Jodlowski a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Zachary thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Risk taking is something we’re really interested in and we’d love to hear the story of a risk you’ve taken.

One of the biggest risks I have taken was directing a show for my first time on top of 4 other jobs this last Fall 2024.

About 1 1/2 years ago, I was approached with the idea of directing a Deaf Theatre production at Florissant Valley Community College (FVCC), where I work at. At the time, I worked as a teacher teaching sign language at the community college at night and at a high school, teaching Deaf/Hard of Hearing students during the day. I was thrilled since I have been involved in theatre since my college days, stretching back to when I played the sign role of Edna Turnblad in NTID Performing Arts’ “Hairspray” in 2015. Since then, I’ve performed in shows locally, in addition to helping film sign language readings of the “House of Branching Paths” podcasts on YouTube and signing my own personal sign language videos of songs. Since 2015, I have always wanted to direct a theatre production for the Deaf along with being a sign language performer and actor, so this opportunity with FVCC was a dream come true.

Around the same time, I got an offer to develop a Sign Language course for Washington University. And then I was asked to teach that class this past Fall 2024. During the summer of 2024, I was encouraged to audition for St. Charles’ Christmas Traditions on Main Street’s 50th Anniversary. I got offered to play the role of Father Time. These two jobs on top of my other two jobs created a challenge in dealing with a level of stress I had not experienced before. And then on top of all this, I was dealing with a first-time directing experience with a challenging level of theatre in merging the hearing and Deaf worlds with a big ensemble cast and elaborate design premise.

Fortunately, I had wonderful support from team members at the High School and Florissant Valley, who helped me manage the stress and challenges that came up at these jobs. Despite the daunting challenge that loomed, I went full steam ahead with my dream of directing. And the result was a magnificent production of “Beware The House on Haunted Hill” where hearing and Deaf actors, tech professionals, and Sign Language and Voice coaches worked together to create this beautiful and haunting world that captivated our hearing and Deaf audiences in November 2024 for a weekend.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

Growing up, my mom was always performing songs. I have distinct memories of watching her home videos where she performed Liza Minelli’s “New York, New York” and various other pop or theatrical songs. She did so a lot as part of the Miss Deaf Missouri pageant circuit where she served as a participant, runner-up, reigning title holder, and later judge. She always had a love for performing that you could feel in her performance, it was like she put her heart and soul in every moment she was onstage. During the 1980s she also performed alongside my Dad in Deaf Theatre at FVCC in “The Glass Menagerie,” “Spoon River Anthology,” and “Our Town”. Watching her inspired me so much to be a performer and to give back to my Deaf community. So getting to perform and direct at FVCC was a wonderful full circle experience.

This, along with being inspired by so many teachers in my life (including my Dad who has taught ASL since the 1990s), led me to pursue teaching for Deaf/Hard of Hearing youth, as well as sign language at the college level. I also do freelance sign language tutoring (starting out of the desire to teach people to sign so they could communicate with Deaf/HH family during the holidays and reduce Dinner Table Syndrome). This alongside my sign language performance videos is my attempt to raise awareness and appreciation for sign language within the community at large so people can see the beauty of it and open doors to provide an accessible world for my DHH community. Since my parents, my brother, aunt & uncle, myself, my friends, are all or mostly Deaf/Hard of Hearing, it’s been an important way for me to be able to support and love myself and my family and friends as well.

Everyday at my teaching jobs, I’m figuring out how to present information in the best, clearest, and most accessible sign language to a variety of students from different backgrounds. My innate understanding of ASL and experience as a Deaf/Hard of Hearing individual helps me to do this and connect to my DHH students and coworkers over similar shared understanding of navigating the hearing world. It’s not commonplace for Deaf/HH individuals to have this opportunity so whenever I can, I like to try and make sure people feel seen and understood for who they are. That is my guiding principle in all the work I do, and I’m proud to do my best to provide that support for my students everyday.

I carry those same traits to my performances and theatrical work too. I try and present the clearest and most accessible sign language through myself or the actors I direct. And I also try to additionally make sure any portrayals of DHH people or characters are authentic to the DHH experience. I want people to see my work in this field and feel seen and understood. Representation matters so much, and that is another overarching theme in the work that I put out there. One work I am particularly proud of being a part of is Ron Sellinger and Jen Kerner’s work on the annual “A Show of Hands.” I’ve participated as a sign performer every year since inception and it’s one of my favorite ways our community spotlights disability within the arts.

What’s a lesson you had to unlearn and what’s the backstory?

Something I had to unlearn was that it’s not a bad thing to be a soft and gentle individual, personally and in work.

Over the last few years. I experienced people Dismissing me because I was too nice or their belief that niceness meant something is suspect with the person or they can’t work with me because I was too nice.

So, I became a curmudgeon type person that I didn’t like especially in the workplace and it made me feel terribly every time I had an outburst. Fortunately, that experience helped me find a better balance between being a people pleaser and a harsh personality, I just naturally gravitate towards being gentle and just now realizing there’s nothing wrong with that after years of questioning it.

And directing the “Beware The House On Haunted Hill” play came at that tail end of that experience too so I had to reconcile that balance too. Like it was a test of the “new me” and striking the balance between giving into people pleasing tendencies/being too nice while standing firm to my heart and vision.

I am proud to say that now I feel much more at peace with who I am.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

Dealing with my own negative thoughts about who I am and my value/effectiveness as a teacher and individual has been something I struggled with a lot. Before 2020, a lot of that struggle happened in silence. I didn’t see the need to admit to others my faults/failings and often internalized a lot of the negativity about myself. Not many knew that, as I always put forth a brave and positive face. It got to me so deeply that I questioned even my closest connections with friends and ascribed my value in those connections to other people. While I thrived in work, my internal world suffered in silence. I felt like a person lost at sea, waiting for someone to see me.

But working through that and pushing through in the past few years, a light switch came on the second I reached out to someone and said “help, I’m not okay.” Accepting that struggle and sharing it with my friends and family has been a huge life changer. I don’t feel as alone or unloved as I used to be, and I know that it’s okay to seek help. While I still have my bad days where I didn’t want to work or move, just knowing I have a community to rely on for help and support was the most amazing thing that could’ve happened, and has given me so much more confidence and love in myself, which I carry forward in my work and try to spread to others.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @zacksdeafjams