Today we’d like to introduce you to Anne Friedman

Hi Anne, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.

Steve Jobs, at my commencement address from Stanford, said that you can only “connect the dots backward.” At the time, it didn’t sound particularly profound but looking back I realize how right he was. In college, I thought I’d become a lawyer, probably for environmental or human rights. But then I got a debilitating case of Lyme’s Disease in my senior year, was bedridden for months after graduation, and lost my ability to read/think/carry on a conversation. In that time I spent sick, I had to ask myself a lot of deep questions about my life and priorities. If I only had 4 hours of consciousness a day, how did I want to spend them? If I couldn’t be out in the world, carry on a full-time job with all the demands of that, what did I want to do? How could I make my time worthwhile? And that’s how I ultimately came to writing. I could do it from bed, at any hour, whenever I felt up to it. I didn’t need to ask permission or wait for an assignment, I could just open my computer and go to work.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?

Has anyone, ever, had an easy life? There are things that make it easier: money, looks, privilege, power, intelligence, education, a stable family who imparts healthy self-esteem… but I think the factory settings on human life are set for somewhere between “challenging” and “insurmountable” for everyone. I’m incredibly lucky in so many facets of life, but no, it hasn’t been smooth since… ever? One of the biggest struggles has been learning not to dismiss compliments while accepting criticism. Because it resonated with my deepest fears about myself, I’d listen when anyone called me dumb, ugly, worthless, or some mild version of those. I not only listened, I let it plummet me to the depths of self-hatred. It’s been one of the biggest challenges of my life to build my self-esteem, internally, so that I know who I am in the face of criticism or praise. My book, Higher Love: A Psychedelic Travel Memoir of Heartbreak and Healing, is starting to receive some awards (4 for 4 at the time of this writing!) and while I”m proud of that, I’m even more proud of knowing that it doesn’t change my perception of my work. I know where it’s strong and where I could have improved it. I’m so glad it is resonating with editorial readers, but if it didn’t, it wouldn’t necessarily mean the book was bad. No piece of art has ever been universally loved or universally reviled. The same is true of people. Learning to value the opinions of those I love, and who love me, not strangers who happen to repeat my worst self-talk, has been the lesson of a lifetime.

Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?

I’m a writer, specializing in creative non-fiction, especially speeches, essays, and memoir. The things that I’m most proud of in relationship to my book, Higher Love, are: 1) that people keep complimenting it on being “light” or “funny” or a page-turner, because it deals with really heavy topics and I’m really proud I managed to keep it a fun read; and 2) that it starts and ends in the same place but is still surprising. I’ve always been impressed when watching TV or movies that start with the ending without giving it away and didn’t think I could do it.

Do you have any advice for those just starting out?

I wish I’d known that rigorous editing is the key to good writing and that there’s no ONE way to be a writer. I took days, weeks, even months and years off. Find what works for you and do it. For me, spending a couple hours three times a week was the right pace when I was in the thick of it, but other times I needed distance to see the work clearly. Don’t punish yourself for the ways in which you fail to live up to what you think it means to be a “real” writer. If you want to be a writer, think you are, and occasionally put words on paper… you are a writer. Own it proudly!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://annekiehlfriedman.com
• Instagram: @annekiehl
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annekiehlfriedman

Image Credits

Danielle Flowers