Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Elena Karaytcheva. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Elena, thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. Can you talk to us about a project that’s meant a lot to you?

FUNNY/SAD! That’s my most meaningful project to date. A book, a short film and a play all born out of a year in a trailer on a goat farm in West Texas. I’ve told this story many times, but rarely in writing so this should be fun. It started, as many tales of personal transformation do, with a breakdown. As in my 04′ Jeep Cherokee had broken down in a small town in the West Texas desert with the hood steaming and my back tires just a few inches past the railroad track that cut through it. One would imagine that I, too was inches away from my own breakdown as no one ends up in the middle of nowhere for no reason. I was in a really dark place and conveniently, there were no mechanics in town. There may have been one guy who could potentially replace a part, but anytime I got ahold of someone who sort of knew him, the trail would lead to a dead end and I was eventually told to just start looking for a job. This landed me on the farm – a place that would alter my personal constitution forever. Dun dun dunnn. In your mind, you’re probably picturing something out of a movie. A montage of a troubled young someone getting their shit (can I say that here?) together with a little dirt on their hands and the sun shining brightly over them as they smile at a long day’s hard work. That was absolutely not the case. I mean yes there was dirt and sunshine but there was a lot of sleeping in between shifts and tears and all the lovely things that come with a wretched inner turmoil. I say lovely from a place of “I’m not there anymore and it’s really sweet and cool to look back on now.” After about 6 months of feeling sorry for myself I decided to start writing. Or actually Eileen Myles, who would become the editor of FUNNY/SAD, had encouraged me to over coffee one day and I sort of took it seriously until 3 years later I had completed the project in it’s entirety which means I ended up taking it very seriously. I like to think it saved my life and still is to this day.

Elena, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I’ve been going by the moniker of human/girl since I was 13 years old, before pronouns became a regular and kind consideration. From a very young age I was really attached to understanding the concept of self. It sounds so loaded but I can remember feeling really desperate for conversation with adults because I sensed they could offer me some sort of secret manual. My family immigrated to Texas from Bulgaria when I was a child so this feeling of displacement probably has a lot to do with it. The Eastern European roots could also probably explain the intensity too. Writing and performing ended up becoming my safe haven as an existentially curious individual. It’s the perfect combination in my opinion. You exercise your restless mind on a page in solitude, but then you get to showcase it and use your audience as confirmation that you’re in the ballpark of a good answer. The work I am most proud of is currently on display in the form of a traveling show. What was originally meant to be a book release for FUNNY/SAD turned into an additional premiere for GOOD APPLES, its accompanying short film and out of the two a play was created as their vehicle. I did this to avoid standing on a stage and just reading the book to people. Instead, each character is a chapter and I am just acting as myself, a writer constantly bargaining with her work to just be what she needs it to be and naturally, the chapters themselves are trying to tell me what they really are. At this point, I am just reaching out to venues in places where I have friends who can take us in for a weekend as it’s self-funded and I am extremely grateful to my actors who are willing to join me on this circus troupe-esque journey.

We often hear about learning lessons – but just as important is unlearning lessons. Have you ever had to unlearn a lesson?

If I needed to label myself it would probably be ‘Writer and Performer’. It used to feel really self-indulgent to proclaim yourself to be something you are still fighting to convince yourself you are, especially if it isn’t your day job. I’m currently a lobby receptionist at a firm in Downtown Houston and grappling with this funny double life feeling has taken some getting used to. I only just started giving myself permission to say it because I have work available to show for it. It doesn’t feel like imposter syndrome as much as it feels like a fair concern. I could click a button on my IG that says “Writer” and never write. It’s important to me that I hold myself accountable and I think this is where the work to unlearn lies. I got my first cell phone at around 8 years old. It was a tiny Samsung flip phone and I loved playing Snake on it or calling my friend down the street’s house but there was no concept of “personal brand” at the time. You just sort of existed in your own private phone-land. Now it’s a mad rush to declare yourself as a fit individual. Creatively, romantically, psychologically etc, And I don’t know if you ever notice this, but the people I follow online who I find the most fresh and interesting are sort of ominous in this show don’t tell kind of way. Claiming yourself isn’t about confirming that people know what you do, I think. My feeling is that it’s more so doing the thing in the privacy of your own you-land and letting it radiate off of you. Post the work. Tell a friend you wrote this thing they might be interested in reading. But parading it around out of a desperation to be heard in the socials echo chamber is exhausting. This was a big takeaway for me from my latest project. We’ll see what comes of it.

Is there mission driving your creative journey?

I have a few things I’m carrying that drive me. My ultimate desire is to just pull this thing off and to me that looks like winning the trust of an audience that can relate to and support the things I am putting out there. This would check off the usual boxes; making my parents proud, validating the voice inside that I tend to question the soundness of, having a solid place to put the ideas that run through me, and proving to my outcasted younger self that I didn’t have to shove the weirdness and sensitivity down to exist peacefully in the world. Immediately, I just want to keep traveling the show that is FUNNY/SAD. When it sold out on opening night and people started buying standing room tickets I realized this could be that very thing.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://thehumangirl.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elenasthename/
• Other: https://thehumangirl.myshopify.com/products/funny-sad

Image Credits

Jon Freeze
Abby Simpson