Today we’d like to introduce you to Yulinda Rahman
Alright, so thank you so much for sharing your story and insight with our readers. To kick things off, can you tell us a bit about how you got started?
My story. That is a big question. How do you pick and choose the parts of your story worthy of being put into words to be consumed by those who happen to be curious enough to taste-test the morsels that made it onto the plate?
My life has been a spiral staircase of looping around and around, sometimes traveling up and sometimes traveling down, revisiting the same traumas from different perspectives, hoping that maybe this time I will see something different, that I will notice a clue that allows me to step off the staircase altogether.
And I did.
My childhood is full of blind spots so I can’t share much of that time beyond being trained to be stoic, to be the emotional support child for those around me. I was not allowed to grieve, or be sad, depressed, or angry, as those emotions were a bit too much to handle for my caregivers as they transverse their own minefield of dysregulation.
I know that, NOW. Not then, though, not then.
It was almost as if I had trained since single digits to be a container for other people’s sorrows, angst, and agitation. So although I wanted to be a doctor and read medical books at seven and was pre-med in college, my fate was tied to counseling. The tapestry already threaded with the gift of safe space creation.
It’s a gift you see—a blessing wrapped in barbwire—this capacity to see people and encourage them to see themselves.
The barbwire is the benign neglect I experienced as a child that doesn’t feel so benign in hindsight. The neglect morphed into a feeling of unworthiness, which I battled with wounded ambition, collecting degrees and certifications like weapons in a video game, hoping they would give me an advantage.
And they did and yet, they didn’t.
That is something I noticed along my path of self-mastery. There are lots of paradoxes in boxes with no bottom only a question mark inviting you to dig deeper.
Or climb higher, or descend lower on that staircase I mentioned.
It’s funny. I was trying so hard to get OFF the staircase that once I did, I realized I missed it, so I stepped back on.
But this time, I am not concerned about getting anywhere or knowing anything; I am fueled by curiosity and delighted in the mystery of not knowing. How different from the person who measured their worth by what they thought they knew…
Can you tell I am a Scorpio sun by the way I write, that my Gemini rises, while my Leo moon hangs bright in the sky for everyone to see? How much can you tell about me?
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
It is interesting to reflect on struggles from the perspective of acknowledging their significance in your growth.
If I had been asked this question a few years ago, my answer would have been that my biggest struggle was being disappointed by the people I relied on the most. I developed “Hyper-Independence” born out of “Chronic Disappointment,” which morphed into not knowing how to receive support, let alone ask for it.
My latest struggle has been knowing my value. The benign neglect I mentioned before showed up as a feeling of unworthiness, leading to me seesawing between crippling codependence and isolating detachment which I tried to battle by putting myself on the clearance rack and hoping someone would notice my value and choose and cherish me. Unfortunately, they never did. Instead, I was chosen and manipulated. This has impacted every area of my life, from romantic relationships to business.
Now, I recognize that those struggles have been the catalyst for navigating my own self-mastery, and although those struggles still exist, I am able to engage with them with much more consciousness.
I call that, GROWTH!
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I am a researcher of s*xual trauma, Therapeutic BDSM, and creator of resources for sexual trauma healing via what I call Edu-Guides, which are educational guides that combine extensive research, informative content, and a tangible process to follow to aid in one’s healing journey. I am also the founder of the non-profit Heal On Purpose Inc.
My Bonafides
Doctor of Clinical S*xology
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
Board Certified “Kink Conscious” S*x Therapist
Certified Trauma Specialist
Certified Mediator and Relationship Negotiator
EMDR Specialist
Licensed Educator
Certified Life Coach
Non-profit founder
I go by the moniker Doc Yu Roc, a play on my name, Yulinda Rahman (pronounced Rock-man).
I have over 25+ years of experience in the mental health field, having held numerous roles in case management and social work, school counseling, and private practice.
While in private practice, I chose to go back to school to become a s*x therapist because roughly 90% of my clients had some form of s*xual trauma in their history. This spanned across all demographics and economic status. During my doctoral program, I decided to specialize in “Kink Consciousness” which basically means that as a clinician, I would be able to hold educated, non-judgmental space for people interested and/or part of the kink community. During my training, I visited dungeons and other play spaces in San Francisco and noticed how cathartic some of the scenes appeared. I was curious about whether that could be translated to the therapeutic space specifically for people with a history of s*xual trauma.
Since then, I have carved out a niche by exploring the integration of kink practices with therapeutic methodologies to promote healing, self-discovery, and personal growth. Therapeutic BDSM is a modality I developed to aid individuals, particularly those with histories of s*xual trauma, in their healing processes. My approach integrates somatic experiencing and BDSM practices to help clients reconnect with their bodies and process trauma in a safe and controlled environment.
The Therapeutic BDSM work began with the formulation of Self-Reconciliation Therapy (SRT), a unique modality to address the specific needs of Black women with a history of s*xual trauma. This therapeutic approach has since evolved to support anyone with body-based trauma, emphasizing the importance of cultural context and historical background.
SRT integrates somatic experiencing, body mapping, and narrative therapy and is
grounded in four key pillars: Awareness, Acceptance, Attunement, and Atonement. These pillars guide individuals on a journey of self-discovery, helping them process trauma and achieve personal reconciliation.
My work also includes recreating, reimagining, implementing, and teaching the Kink Conscious Certification Program at the International Institute of Clinical S*xology!
In addition, I am an author and speaker. My book, A Power Exchange with Your Pain: A Guide Towards Reconciliation with SELF, provides a comprehensive framework for SRT, blending therapeutic techniques with historical and cultural insights. This resource serves both clinicians and individuals seeking to heal from s*xual trauma. My most recent book, Therapeutic BDSM: An Alternative Form of Healing, invites clinicians and the public at large to think outside of the box when it comes to helping modalities, techniques, and interventions.
One of the things I am most proud of is the work I am doing via my nonprofit. Through my nonprofit organization, Heal On Purpose Inc., I am dedicated to providing education and conducting research on the prevalence and impact of s*xual trauma on the Black community while creating resources that aid in individual and collective healing.
What sets me apart and what I am known for is one and the same: having the AUDACITY to pursue authenticity in a society that perpetuates conforming.
We’d be interested to hear your thoughts on luck and what role, if any, you feel it’s played for you?
Luck has not played a role in my life, but faith, fear, alignment, and misalignment have all played starring roles!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://yulindarenee.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yulindarenee.phd/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healonpurposewithyulindarenee/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@fromshadowtosacreditssexin7627
