We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Samantha Southard a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Samantha, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today What’s the best advice you ever gave to a client? How did they benefit / what was the result? (Please note this response is for education/entertainment purposes only and shouldn’t be construed as advice for the reader)

As a therapist, so many clients come to therapy to work through various stressors and to cope with all the challenges that life may throw at them. Clients often become frustrated with their lack of progress or feel that they are drowning in a metaphorical sea of issues, feeling that there is no life preserver to help them stay afloat. While therapy can be the very thing that helps someone feel supported and validated, it is so normal to feel that they are stuck or are hopeless about the future and/ or themselves. As a therapist who believes in aiding individuals in becoming the best version of themselves, there are two concepts that I try to emphasize with all of the clients that I work with.

The first is that our lives will always be messy and imperfect – that’s part of what makes us human. If we imagine a typical graph, the graph can have spikes filled with positive moments and deep declines, representing hardships and strife. Despite the number of ups and downs that may exist in the totality of your life, try to reframe your mindset! Instead of drowning in the ups and downs, focus on the other part of the graph that represents your progress and ability to move forward. It is not easy to do but in the moments that feel particularly hard, remember that this is just another decline on the graph, rather than the whole story. Continuing to focus on moving forward can make a huge difference in your mindset and outlook on life.

The second is that because life is imperfect, self-love is such an important value to practice DAILY. Self-love means being able to forgive yourself when you make a mistake and provide yourself with compassion, through the good times and bad. It embodies genuine acceptance of yourself and requires constant work. As you mature and grow, you will change and how you love yourself along with it. Self-love is meant to grow with you, rather than keep you stagnant. It will again, absolutely challenge you because it’s hard to truly love the difficult parts of ourselves, but it’s something that is a necessity for your well-being.

Samantha, before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

My name is Samantha, aka The Blonde Therapist, and I am a licensed mental health counselor in New York!

I became interested in the mental health field, in a way that is similar to many others – due to my own mental health struggles and watching loved ones struggle with theirs. When I was first in therapy as a client, I realized how beneficial it was to have someone who was able to really listen to my personal experiences without bias and judgment. Through this experience, I was able to understand the importance of feeling heard, validated, and accepted, while still receiving empathy when I had difficulty providing it to myself. From there, I sought out to be that empathetic and compassionate individual for others, during what could be the most challenging times of their lives.

I currently provide therapeutic services for teens and young adults, who may struggle with anxiety, trauma, perfectionism, and self-love. I utilize an eclectic and holistic approach with my clients in order to best meet their needs, as I believe in treating the individual, rather than using a “one size fits all” approach. My theoretical orientation derives from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, and Sand Tray Therapy. What sets myself apart from therapists who primarily utilize talk therapy is my training in sand tray therapy. Sand tray therapy is a therapeutic modality that enables clients to be emotionally vulnerable while holding space to process their distressing emotions/ experiences/ trauma and thus, allows for them to feel self-empowered through their ability to direct and change their narratives. I am also excited to further my education by obtaining more training in treating trauma and anxiety, and being able to utilize mindfulness practices in therapy!

Creating the brand of The Blonde Therapist, was something that I encountered post-grad school, when I was trying to find a way to make myself stand out from my fellow therapists. I strived to embody my personality and own experiences, rather than be a “blank slate therapist,” something that is often taught to therapists in training. Through my brand, I am able to portray my authentic and genuine self, while sprinkling in trends from pop culture, relatable experiences, and my own sarcasm and humor. The name also provides 2 perks: highlighting my favorite trait and challenging the “dumb blonde” stereotype!

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

Growing up, I sought perfectionism in everything and thought that being perfect in all that you do, determined your self-worth. When realized that I am perfectly imperfect and I am bound to make mistakes, my anxiety skyrocketed. I had to realize and accept that my standard of perfectionism wasn’t sustainable or even realistic. I had to practice what I eventually incorporated into my work as a therapist, where I work on loving every part of myself. This lead me to the utilization of my personal mantra, “Strive for progress, not perfection.”

Can you tell us about what’s worked well for you in terms of growing your clientele?

The best strategy for growing my clientele is something that my grandfather had taught me while I was young; “The most important letters in the alphabet are ‘B U.'” Being my true and authentic self, especially on social media and therapist listing platforms, provides me with the opportunity to attract the clients that I am meant to work with. I also believe that it allows clients to see a glimpse of what it would be like to work with myself in a professional capacity.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.theblondetherapist.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.blonde.therapist?igsh=MWluNHR0dXRvMnNzNQ==
• Other: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the.blonde.therapist?_t=8rIGUflTWY7&_r=1

  Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/samantha-southard-staten-island-ny/996781