We were lucky to catch up with Liliana Epps recently and have shared our conversation below.

Liliana, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.

Recently I took a risk by reaching out to old friends I hadn’t spoken to in a long time. Now to be completely honest the 3 people I reached out to were all cis-men…that I’ve kissed before….we’ll leave it at that. BUT dear friends of mine to say the least. All three of these boys are people who know me deeply and who I know and care for deeply. However, it was still very scary reaching out because I’d either been ghosted and/or rejected in the past. So you might be thinking “Lily, then why reach out?” Well… I’m crazy. But the good kind of crazy!! Enough time had passed, I let go of my pride, and decided to honor my longing for their friendship and nothing more. One person I hadn’t talked to in 7 months since he ghosted me in the middle of his depressive episode. Another person I hadn’t talked to in over a year since he told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me (even though that’s not what I was looking for so he misread the situation). And the last person I hadn’t talked to in 5 years since we fell out after going on one date in college (we were friends all throughout elementary, middle and high school). Needless to say each of these men hold a special place in my heart, which says a lot about them and their character considering I surround myself with QTBIPOC women and nonbinary folks in my professional and personal life. I saw each man’s humanity. I saw my humanity. I forgave myself and them, with and without apologies. The reality is, we’re all a bunch of Gen Z’s in our mid-20s trying to figure out “adulthood” in the most uncertain time anybody alive has ever experienced. I’d rather offer myself and the people I love an immense amount of grace rather than live in fear of taking a risk and making the first move towards mending, healing and rebuilding lost friendships. I can confidently say each experience has been so rewarding and I’m so grateful to have these people back in my life. It was a beautiful reminder that I am an agent of healing for myself and others.

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I live in two different worlds because I am a creative person who works in corporate. I grew up taking dance, piano, and singing lessons along with exploring other mediums such as acting, drawing, and filmmaking. And while I still currently engage in my art practice, I also pride myself in being a Grant Writer for nonprofits. Being an artist definitely helps with my Grant Writing and vice versa. I think it’s pretty obvious I got into art making because it’s what I did all throughout my childhood into adulthood, but I actually just stumbled into Grant Writing. One of my friends from college was leaving a job and recommended that I take their place. It was very serendipitous given I had never formally written grants prior to this, but now I have a newfound skill.

In regards to offering a service, at this time I am only providing grant writing for people. Anything creative that I make is for me. However, I am always down to collaborate and/or help others with their creative projects – i.e. scoring a short film or video game, offering a poem or drawing for an art book, etc.

For you, what’s the most rewarding aspect of being a creative?

For me, the most rewarding aspect of being an artist is experiencing myself through another medium. Yes I am in my body all the time, yes I can look at myself in a mirror or watch a video of me but there’s something special about experiencing myself/my soul through my artwork. For example when I listen to my music it makes me feel more understood. It makes me feel less alone in the world.

Is there mission driving your creative journey?

Yes, collective liberation.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://lilianajeanine.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/liliana.jeanine
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@lilianajeanine
• Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/lilianajeanine
• Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@liliana.jeanine

Image Credits

Ariel Mengistu