We recently connected with Leah Cohen and have shared our conversation below.

Leah, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today Can you share an important lesson you learned in a prior job that’s helped you in your career afterwards?

When I was early in my career, I had a client I worked with for a while—one of my first. She was a middle-schooler who felt out of place both at school and within her family. She struggled to identify her own feelings, likely due to the chronic invalidations she regularly experienced. Yet, through our work together, she slowly began to recognize her emotions, see them as valid and even valuable, and express them—verbally or otherwise.

Reflecting on an important lesson learned at a prior job, I think of this client. It was during my first position as a therapist, fresh out of school, heavily reliant on my clinical supervisor, as most new therapists are. Whenever ethically tricky issues arose, I turned to my supervisor for guidance.

This particular client often spoke about her passion for propagating seedlings. She would harvest the tiny offshoots from her succulents, then root and nurture them into new plants. These seedlings felt like creations of her own, a kind of personal contribution to life, or at times she referred to them as children.

In the midst of our therapeutic journey, after building a strong rapport, she told me about her process of propagating these plants. It was significant for her to express her feelings and share something so personal. She expressed a desire to give me one of her little succulents.

In therapy training, one of the earliest ethical guidelines we encounter is not to give or accept gifts from clients. Like many guidelines, this one is often interpreted rigidly, but there’s a lot of nuance to consider. There are multiple factors at play when considering ethics, and it’s important to seek consultation and supervision when uncertain, regardless of experience level.

Many therapists decline gifts due to concerns about exploiting a client’s vulnerability, potentially influencing services, or causing the client to feel manipulated later. While I won’t explore the ethical implications here, suffice it to say that most therapists would typically advise against accepting a gift from a client, or at least consider it on a case-by-case basis.

I told this client I needed to consult with my supervisor. My supervisor, though empathetic, was firm in her rule: “never accept gifts from clients.” I remember feeling unsettled about this. The plant was symbolic, and meaningful to the client—a piece of herself, a symbol of hope, growth, and our therapeutic relationship. Intuitively, I felt that accepting it would mean something important, as would rejecting it. But, early in my career and under direct supervision, I felt unable to trust my intuition or seek further exploration. I wondered if I was missing something, or if I was, as some might say, “over-identifying” with my client.

Following my supervisor’s direction, I told my client that, despite my appreciation, I couldn’t accept her gift. We discussed how it felt for her, exploring what the gift meant. But as I explained my professional guidelines, I sensed it wasn’t the right decision. Her eyes filled with tears, and I hoped to transform the moment into one where she still felt seen as we processed her reaction.

This experience sparked my desire to become a different kind of therapist, affirming the value of intuition. Over the years, I’ve strengthened my belief that our experiences, humanity, and internal wisdom hold immense worth. In any career stage, honoring our intuition is crucial. While seeking consultation and supervision is important, blanket rules rarely apply universally.

I still regret that moment. Despite causing no apparent harm or client dropout, she felt rejected. The impact of not accepting her gift remains unknown; it felt like rejecting a core part of her. Although I tried to mend the rupture, it was likely a painful and unnecessary experience. The key here is that I didn’t believe in the course of action; I ignored my intuition, choosing instead to follow the rules without question.

Throughout my career, this lesson has reappeared. I often think of that client, the decision moment, and my supervisor. Now, when facing decisions, I pause to consult my intuition, viewing it as a vital piece of the puzzle. As I supervise and train therapists, I emphasize helping new therapists recognize and honor their intuition and gut feelings, encouraging their humanity in their work and decision-making process.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I’m Leah Cohen, the founder of Kindred Therapy. My mission as a therapist is to support neurodivergent, queer, gender-expansive adults to embrace neurodiversity and change their environment to support their own ways of being. I provide supervision and consultation, and through my group practice, work to reduce the exploitation of multiply marginalized clinicians and increase access to values-aligned therapists. I also help other therapists, entrepreneurs, and practice owners to clarify their vision and brand identity, and create websites that truly represent their unique offerings.

Kindred Therapy LLC is an inclusive, affirming psychotherapy practice that sees clients over telehealth and in-person in PA and NJ. We provide individual and relationship therapy to support you in accepting all of your parts and heal from collective and individual trauma. Our therapists utilize an anti-oppressive, relational, and neurodiversity-affirming framework.

I started a group practice because of my experience training as a therapist as a queer, gender-expansive, neurodivergent, gender-expansive person of color. It’s hard for clients with multiple marginalized identities to find the right therapist, partly because it is hard for therapists, particularly QTBIPOC, to get through training without experiencing trauma or exploitation. Many leave the field early even if they do survive training. I believe in the right fit between therapists and clients. Research has shown that one of the primary factors contributing to success in therapy is the relationship between client and therapist. I am guided by the belief that it matters who we are and the parts of ourselves we bring to this work.

Training and knowledge matter of course, but beyond that what do you think matters most in terms of succeeding in your field?

It is not the amount of knowledge or training you have accumulated that will make you a great therapist. The most helpful element in succeeding as a therapist is to know yourself. Do the work to increase your self-awareness and understanding. Stay curious and humble. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you know all there is to know, or that you are done growing. Likewise, don’t discount your self-knowledge and life experience just because you are new to the field.

Do you think you’d choose a different profession or specialty if you were starting now?

I honestly don’t know. As a neurodivergent entrepreneur, my work is a reflection of what I am most passionate about, my “special interests” in other words- and when it comes to being a therapist that means my passion for understanding people and being immersed in their experiences, hopes, joys, and fears. I still find it to be some of the most fascinating, gratifying, and challenging work that I do.

If I could go back, knowing what I know now about what it means to be a therapist, I would have a very difficult time deciding if I should do it all over again. In a lot of ways, becoming a therapist was critical to my development as a human, and being a therapist has defined me for most of my adult life. I’m not sure what my life trajectory would look like without this part of my identity.

At the same time, if I had known and understood my AuDHD (ADHD and Autistic) experience before becoming a therapist, I may have thought twice about choosing a career that involves interacting with others for most of the day. Or I may have been able to better prepare. I think neurodivergent people often make fantastic therapists who are deeply satisfied by this line of work, and it is also work that is especially draining for us. If I could go back I would want to think about what the impact of this profession could be on my well-being and energy to prioritize personal relationships.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://kindredtherapyllc.com
• Instagram: @kindredtherapyllc and @therapydesignsolutions
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kindredtherapyllc
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leah-cohen-lcsw/

Image Credits

Leah Cohen