Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Mackenzie Bradke. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

MacKenzie, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.

I’ve always been a people pleaser. When I was in high school, I remember someone asking me why I apologized for everything. My response? “I’m sorry.”
I did things that made other people happy. A lot. And then I couldn’t anymore. In college a longtime friend became upset with me for making a decision that was mine to make. I struggled to understand why a choice that was solely mine and wasn’t hurting this person, would impact them so much that they could be so judgmental about it. I remember calling my mom asking her if I was really that bad of a person for having made this choice. I decided then it was time to live my life for ME.
It’s so easy to revert back to old ways. I didn’t believe that people could like me for me. This has been a lesson that I’ve had to work on my whole life. Thank goodness for good therapists who have helped me walk this path and learn to love myself. But it can be a daily struggle. Not everyone is going to like the things that I have to say, the way that I think or the things that I do. And that is okay.
One of my favorite pieces of knowledge that I love sharing with my clients is that two opposing thoughts can be true at the same time. I can not like your behavior and still care about you as a person and hold onto both of those things. It’s a very grey area, which is difficult for people.
Each time I come back around to making decisions that are good for me, it involves risk. It involves the possibility that I’m not making the right choice. Or my choice will upset someone. To be able to be true to myself, those are risks I have to take.
This may sound like I’m being selfish to some. People will always judge and criticize. I can’t worry about that.

Great, appreciate you sharing that with us. Before we ask you to share more of your insights, can you take a moment to introduce yourself and how you got to where you are today to our readers.

I’m a mental health therapist in a St. Charles, Missouri. I’m the owner of Follow Your Arrow Counseling, LLC. I support moms who are dealing with what I lovingly call “The Mother Load”. These women are in the thick of motherhood: dealing with the overwhelm and loss of their own identity, struggling to remember what they like to do other than scroll on their phone and binge watch Netflix until the wee hours of the morning. They’re givers and nurturers to everyone…except themselves. I support them in finding ways to reprioritize themselves so they can be the mom and partner they want to be.
I’m also the owner of Middle Path Wellness Collective, which is a space where other therapists/healing professionals sublease office space, but we’re more than just office mates. We’re big on collaboration and consultation so our clients are getting the best care and we’re getting support from each other.
I’m also the creator of TheraMama Haven, a networking group where I support Therapists who are Moms. Being a Therapist and Mom are two very demanding and emotionally exhausting jobs. It’s nice to have a virtual space where we can connect and offer support to one another. I am branching this side of my business out into more in-person spaces by sponsoring events and hosting my own self-care retreats and conferences. I love that this side of my business allows me to travel to meet some of the amazing TheraMamas who are in my online FB group, TheraMamas Who Mimosa.
Lastly, I am a published author. I have a workbook for Therapist Moms called “A Journey to Self-Care Journaling Workbook” on Amazon and I contributed a chapter to “She Leads We Rise : How Female Leaders Are Driving Global Transformation,” which is also on Amazon.
Growing up I wanted to be a writer. I would write all the time. I took a psychology class in high school and realized that was my path. My mom was a social worker when I was growing up so it made sense that was the direction I went. I moved from my hometown in Iowa to get my Masters Degree in Social Work at Saint Louis University and I’ve been in Missouri ever since. I met my husband in 2007 and we got married in 2008. We struggled with infertility for about 8 years and adopted our daughter in 2016. She’s 8 and super smart and independent. She keeps me on my toes, that’s for sure!

I pride myself on being a human in my office. You’ll find me barefoot, curled up in my chair, dropping an f-bomb here and there and sharing “I get you!” stories from my personal life to let my clients know they aren’t alone. I make sure they know that just because I have fancy credentials behind my name doesn’t mean that I have everything figured out. I am open about not liking being a parent all the time. It’s hard. I’m open about my infertility journey and the adoption process of our daughter. People need to know they are not alone in their journey and if I’m sitting there simply nodding my head, they’re never coming back. I push back a bit on some of the things that we’re taught in our graduate programs. They’re old ways and they simply don’t work with everyone.

I’m a firm believer that ‘self-care’ is a word that we’ve over-used and watered down so it doesn’t really have any meaning. And yet it is one of the most important things that we can do to make sure we show up for the people we need to show up for. And ourselves, of course. Prioritizing our needs as moms is the only way to survive this. We have to meet our own needs before we can meet the needs of others. And it truly does take a village to raise children. That’s one of the reasons I started TheraMama Haven. I needed other women around me who knew what it was like to be a mom and a Therapist and understand how isolating, overstimulating and draining it is to never have a break from caregiving. Even if it’s by our own choice.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

This question is perfect because “resilience” is one of the things that my TheraMama Haven business celebrates. The definition of ‘resilience’ is “the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” I mean, there’s no better definition for moms and therapists. Women in general.

Growing up, I was always the fat kid. I got made fun of, picked last for teams in school, the usual bullying. It played its role in my life, but I didn’t give up. Those experiences continue to shape who I am today. (Mostly because I’m working on them in my own therapy.) Working through those traumas makes me a better mom, partner, friend, sister, daughter and Therapist.

Resilience showed up most for me during our infertility journey. It was a long and difficult road. I never got answers to why I was unable to conceive. I had procedure after procedure to see if this or that was the issue. I learned to give myself shots every single day, multiple times a day, despite my fear of needles. I endured physical and emotional pain like I’d never felt before. The roller coaster of excitement and hope only to plummet into disappointment, self-blame and depression. And I still couldn’t let it stop me. Each disappointment left me feeling more and more to blame. I hated that my body was ‘broken’ and I didn’t have a reason why. I hated how the medication made me feel: hot flashes wayyyyy before I should have known what hot flashes were. Waves of emotion out of nowhere. Eventually I had to stop. My body and my heart couldn’t take it anymore than our bank account could. My husband and I decided to take our last break and pursue adoption. Strangely, this was the easiest part of the process.
Each hardship I’ve endured in my life, I’ve withstood and bounced back. Maybe a bit bruised and battered, but I still came back. Giving up on my dreams has never been in my DNA.

Can you tell us about what’s worked well for you in terms of growing your clientele?

Collaboration and connecting with other therapists and healing professionals has been the biggest help in growing my private practice and TheraMama Haven. Because I’m supporting people in both, connecting on a human level is essential. Collaborating has become my focus over the last several years. More and more I’m growing tired of the competition-style of the therapy industry and private practice, especially.
It’s been incredibly important for me to learn and internalize that every single person brings their own perspective to the same concept. I can be one of ten therapists standing in a line who all work with moms and we’ll all have a little bit different thing to offer a client. It’s hard to not feel in competition with other therapists, but I can’t think that way. It’s dangerous in that it leads to a mindset of scarcity and judgment toward others in my industry. It’s not how I want to feel about myself or my colleagues. Rather, I try to learn and share with others. I love talking with other therapists about what they are doing, how we can support each other and it gives me a great opportunity to be able to have a long list of names to use for referrals.

Collaborating and connecting with other healing professionals (yoga instructors, nurse practitioners, psychiatrists, massage therapists, etc) is part of this work, too. Being able to give my clients the name of an excellent chiropractor or functional medicine practitioner to help them feel even better physically is going to go a lot further than them just picking someone off Google. And because our bodies and minds are so closely linked, we have to take care of the physical and emotional at the same time.

It just makes sense to have a list of good people in my back pocket who I know are going to take good care of the people who trust me to take care of them, too.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.followyourarrow.info, www.middlepathwellness.info, www.theramamahaven.com
• Instagram: @the_mom_therapist
• Facebook: TheraMamas Who Mimosa – https://www.facebook.com/share/g/tCTGQzd3sQXqGrhN/
• Other: TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@theramama.mama?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc