We were lucky to catch up with Shay Dubois recently and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Shay thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Let’s kick things off with your mission – what is it and what’s the story behind why it’s your mission?

My mission is to tell people that healing from anxiety and trauma is possible.

I was born while the War in Vietnam was happening. My dad had been in the Marines and was there when it was still a “conflict”. Part of him never returned. We learned to recognize the look in dad’s eyes that said he was “having a flashback”. We learned to be quiet, be still, go get mom to help him.

My mom has a chronic illness and depression. I can’t tell you how many times I had to call someone to take her to the hospital before I could drive her there myself. There was ALWAYS the fear she would die.

I didn’t realize I had PTSD and trauma myself. I just thought being anxious was a trait. Then I developed an autoimmune disease. It took almost a decade to figure it out after symptoms started showing up.

My life changed when a friend and colleague, Rachel, suggested I read Gabor Maté’s book “When the Body Says No.” He is a medical doctor who found that more than 90% of his patients had symptoms but no physiological reason behind it. He started meeting with patients after hours and found what they had in common was trauma.

I will tell you, I was loved. My parents provided for me and my siblings. They did their best, but they were suffering with their own stuff. Gabor talks about the myth of the happy childhood. We don’t have to have huge trauma events to have symptoms. Trauma can also be the things that should have happened that didn’t.

I did Gabor Maté’s Professional Training in Compassionate Inquiry. I am one of 41 people in the US certified in this modality. It was INTENSE. Certification took me two years. I healed so much during that time and came out a very different person.

THIS is why I am so passionate. I’ve walked down the path of feeling so dark and hopeless. I’ve been on the tough path of working on my trauma. Now I am living a life where I love myself and don’t feel so afraid all the time. It was difficult, but so worth it!

Awesome – so before we get into the rest of our questions, can you briefly introduce yourself to our readers.

I started working for a non-profit providing services for families who couldn’t afford therapy. I worked there for 7 years and even helped to create a free trauma clinic.

I probably would have stayed there because the trauma clinic was my passion project. I wanted to offer neurofeedback and somatic therapy for trauma. No other program in our area offered that for free.

However, the program decided not to go in that direction and I couldn’t do therapy that didn’t make sense to me.

I left and joined a private practice that allowed me the freedom I wanted. It was a great place to work, but eventually I decided to open my own private practice.

I have had my own business nearly two years now. There were some learning curves, dealing with insurance which was a mistake. Unbelievably, I have a full practice without insurance, and I am working on creating a digital workshop and course.

I am limited to the number of people I can work with 1:1, but I want people to get the help they need. I also know that I do therapy differently than most therapists and want to be able to offer this unique blend to more than 4-5 people a day.

I offer somatic therapy. This means that not only do I work with the emotions and beliefs you carry around. I also work with the tension or numbness you carry in your body.

More often than not people are diagnosed with ADHD when what they are really dealing with are trauma symptoms of numbing out, hypervigilance, or anxiety. I teach clients how to calm their body using movement, providing support to the body, and with tuning in to what their body needs. This improves their focus, ability to get things done, and often they no longer qualify for the diagnosis.

My first goal is for a client to feel safe. We can do uncomfortable but never unbearable. I want my client to feel seen and heard.

Trauma happens in relationship and that is where healing happens, too. I use my nervous system to help clients regulate, but they have to feel safe with me in order to do that.

I am always checking in to make sure my client’s are supported in the way they need. I allow them to choose the pace.

Finally, I am passionate about my work. It is the best job in the world! I get to see people who were hopeless find lives that feel meaningful. I can’t imagine wanting to do anything else.

I was there myself, ready to give up, and then I got sick from all the stress. Finding Gabor’s work was the first step on a long path toward healing. If I can do it, so can you!

Can you tell us about a time you’ve had to pivot?

I was working for GROW, they contract therapists to provide services to clients so clients can use their insurance.

I opted out of Medicare. I had no idea that this would interfere with my employment at GROW. I was terminated without any notice and lost 75-80% of my business.

I had to pivot hard. I reached out to my clients and explained what happened. For a few clients we were able to get a short term agreement with the insurance company. Some clients found a new therapist. For other clients I offered them a discounted rate since they would have to pay out of pocket.

I will never forget the client who said she is picking up an extra day at work to pay for therapy because it is really helping.

I had done brainspotting on my fear of my business failing two weeks prior to this event. When it happened, I felt shocked but also ok. I took it as the universe telling me it was time to step out of comfort and into expansion. I started blogging more, created a YouTube channel, and started posting on social media.

I have been a contributor to National Geographic talking about Somatic Therapy. I have also been featured in The Flow Magazine contibuting on somatic interventions you can do at home. I wouldn’t have done these things if I had continued working for GROW. I didn’t have time.

Today I have a smaller case load and am doing fine. I see the clients who are looking for me and the kinds of unique therapies I do.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

Since I started graduate school, I knew how important good trauma therapy is for people.

I saw my dad struggling all my life with what happened to him in a few short years. There were times I was afraid to leave him alone.

I saw how much better his life was after he went to an intensive program because he wanted to be healthier for his family.

I could have stopped my education after graduate school. I went to school full time and worked 60 hours a week for most of my program. I paid cash for school as I went along.

However, I have invested YEARS and lots of funds into specialized training. I know what a difference good trauma therapy makes for individuals and their families. It saved my dad’s life.

There are a lot of choices out there online. There are lots of people saying they know how to work with trauma. You can get certificates after just 6 hours of training in some topics. It is difficult for consumers to know what to ask and what to look for in a therapist.

I have started my own business, devoted myself to specialized training, built a supportive network of professionals, all while dealing with an autoimmune disease.

The trauma work I did for myself has helped me to improve my health, even while doing all these “stressful” things in life. We can see that my blood work is actually improving or at least maintaining. I am functioning so much better. I believe this is because I am more authentic in my profession with my own business and doing all my own trauma work with Gabor’s program.

Healing is possible. We might think we are stuck with ADHD, stress related disease, or PTSD. We might believe we are introverts or anxious but our brains and bodies can heal in safe and knowledgeable relationship. There is a more satisfying life out there so don’t give up. You are worth the work! Warm regards, Shay

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.overcomeanxietytrauma.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/overcomeanxietytrauma/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TherapyWithShayDuBois
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shay-dubois-07688970/
• Twitter: https://x.com/OATSHAY
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Mindfulish
• Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=WynVt2yGfvn_N_Nz-W2aGA

Image Credits

Roy Tabali