We were lucky to catch up with Jillian Engstrom recently and have shared our conversation below.

Alright, Jillian thanks for taking the time to share your stories and insights with us today. Was there a defining moment in your professional career? A moment that changed the trajectory of your career?

I had wanted to be a teacher since my parents brought home an old chalkboard from a yard sale when I was seven. And sure enough, I went to college and got a degree in secondary education and history. My third year of teaching I had a particularly challenging grade of students. I hadn’t been able to create community in most of my classes. And therefore I hadn’t been able to do much teaching. I ended the year feeling hopeless and discouraged.

On a whim I participated in a Restorative Justice training offered by my school district over the summer. The two mentors who ran the training, taught a simple but profound way to hold a circle of respectful and heartfelt communication. I left the training with a whole new understanding of what the job of a teacher truly is.

Before I took this training, the focus of my lesson plans were to teach historical facts, keywords and skills. After this training, I realized I had to hold a container where all students in my class could feel safe to talk and find their voice. Only then would they talk about history. Teaching anyone at any age, isn’t just about the subject you are teaching. Teaching is a co-creation between the teacher and students. The teacher creates an environment where students feel safe and respected and therefore have regulated nervous systems. In this state of “rest and digest” they can truly learn, process information and participate. The more intention and love I put into creating a space of love and respect, the deeper the sense of community and the deeper the learning that occurred in my classes.

After practicing the wisdom of Restorative Justice in my classroom and witnessing this incredible shift toward community, empathy and understanding, I began taking every training I could on regulating the nervous system and understanding the human brain. This eventually led me to mindfulness and meditation trainings, which eventually led me to sound healing. I didn’t know fifteen years ago that a five day training would plant a seed that would eventually usher me into a whole different realm of teaching. The Restorative Justice training completely changed the trajectory of my teaching career and I will forever be grateful to the two mentors that made it their lives work to pass this wisdom on to other educators.

Jillian , before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?

I am a mother. I am a teacher. And I am a sound alchemist and student of sound healing. I play crystal singing bowls and offer sound baths with guided meditations to the community. The sound frequencies created by the crystal singing bowls rebalance, restore and heal both the physical and spiritual body. Although western medicine was slow to support sound healing, studies have successfully proven how sound can positively affect the autonomic nervous system, reduce stress and anxiety, and recent studies are investing sound waves ability to treat cancer. These scientists validated what mystical shamans and healers have known about sound since time immemorial; it is healing.

I want all people who attend my sound baths to fully integrate the health benefits of sound, therefore I put an incredible amount of intention into how I create the experience. Every sound bath I host includes a short educational talk about sound healing. Many people need scientific explanations to trust what is happening in their body. From there I speak to the spiritual benefits offered by the crystal singing bowls. And how to work with their energy to release and rebalance one’s spirit. Lastly, I teach and then guide attendees through a 10-15 minute grounding guided meditation. This helps prepare people’s bodies and minds for when I begin playing, so they can more deeply connect to the sound and go into theta brain waves. I play the bowls for a minimum of 45 minutes. After the sound bath is over I answer questions and help people process what they experienced. The people who attend my sound baths share profound stories of physical and spiritual releases, visions, a deeper embodiment of peace, joy and love.

I rarely call these offerings my “job” or “career”. It goes much deeper than that, this is a calling. I started playing the crystal singing bowls during one of the hardest times in my life. Years of high pressure jobs combined with the stress of two pregnancies, catapulted me into autoimmune disease. I desperately sought a diagnosis and treatment for years. And finally turned to alternative healing modalities after having only negative ineffective experiences with traditional western medicine. Within the first week of playing crystal singing bowls, I recognized how powerful they were and felt immediate relief for both my physical and mental health. The more I healed, the more I felt a soul calling to offer this healing to other people. And I have been on a heart centered mission to share sound healing with people ever since.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

One of the biggest mis-learnings I have had to rewrite and unlearn is the misconception that you need to be an expert to offer anything of value in a field or vocation. I have had to unlearn this twice, in both my traditional public education career and again when I began offering sound healings.

I grew up in the tiny state of Massachusetts. Although it is less than 200 miles long, there are over 100 colleges and universities within its borders. I grew up hearing about Harvard, MIT and Northeastern. By the time I entered high school, the idea that you had to get a high level degree and become an expert to be successful was already planted deep in my psyche.

I majored in history and education in college. I got my double bachelor degree and began my career as a public education high school history teacher. I started teaching at the young age of 23 and I certainly was not an expert. And the teachers with higher level degrees constantly reminded me and all the new hires of this. I had to stop comparing myself to these more experienced teachers to see the value of what I was teaching in my own classroom. My teaching came from a deep place of love and acceptance of all my students. My lesson plans were innovative, creative and captivating. What I lacked in expertise, I made up in effort and connection. Within the first year, I realized I didn’t need to be an expert to be a great teacher.

When I first started offering sound baths to the public I really struggled with imposter syndrome. There are some truly amazing sound healers in my local area with decades of experience and learning. When I first started this project, I was a stay-at-home mom with only a few hours a week to dedicate to this new vocation. Once again, I found myself playing the comparison game to other professionals. Regardless of these feelings, I forced myself out of my comfort zone and started to spread the word about my new offerings. My first publicly offered sound bath was amazing. I felt so proud of what I shared with those who attended. I shared a passion that was super close to my heart with a room full of strangers and it left them feeling restored and more deeply connected to themselves. If I had waited to be an expert, these people would never have received this medicine.

You do not need to be an expert to start a new vocation. The truth is, there will always be someone who is more of an expert than you. You just need to be brave enough to begin. If your heart’s in it and you are willing to keep learning, what you have to offer is of value.

We’d love to hear a story of resilience from your journey.

If you want to know about resilience, speak to any of your friends who are dealing with a chronic disease. I have done a lot of hard things in my life; teaching in public education for a decade, birthing both of my sons naturally, moving away from family and having to build a new community twice. None of those things were nearly as hard as becoming sick, seeking a diagnosis and healing my body from two different autoimmune diseases.

It’s not like I woke up completely sick one day. It was a slow degradation of my quality of life over several years. During this time, each month brought new and worsening symptoms. Eventually, I had chronic fatigue, anxiety, depression, rashes all over my body, my hair was falling out, my joints ached, my gut was destroyed and my hormones were so imbalanced that I literally could no longer produce the chemicals needed to feel joy. I spent most of my days feeling a deep overwhelm both physically and mentally.

In this state, I had to navigate the modern medical system. I went to doctors for years; primary cares, naturopaths, functional medicine doctors, urgent cares, the ER, the wound clinic, dermatologists, urologists, chiropractors and acupuncturists. Most of these appointments were completely fruitless, bringing me no closer to a diagnosis, treatment or healing.
However, I refused to accept that I would spend the rest of my life living in so much physical and mental anguish. With the little energy I did have, I continued seeking different doctors and doing my own research online. Eventually I did find a doctor who listened and diagnosed me. And from there, I was able to listen to my body’s intuition and figure out what worked to heal my body.

I am still healing, but my quality of life and health has improved tremendously through all my efforts. I often think back to the darkest of years of this journey and thank my earlier self for staying resilient and refusing to give up.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @peninsulasoundcircles
• Other: Join my email list by emailing your info to [email protected] I send regular updates about my offerings to those on the list.

Image Credits

Jillian Engstrom