We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Jason Toth a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Jason, looking forward to hearing all of your stories today. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.

In retrospect, the biggest risk I have ever taken, was the surest bet I could ever make. It didn’t feel that way at the time.

In August 2019, at 32 years old, the life I had been building for myself came crashing down when my legs suddenly gave out in my driveway. Shortly after, I was diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTs), a chronic illness that disrupts the autnomic nervous system – responsible for heart rate, blood circulation, breathing, etc. – and I found myself experiencing debilitating symptoms that confined me to bed and unable to work… for nearly 3.5 years.

At the time, I had a small marketing agency, I put all of myself into it that it became a part of my identity… and I had to let it go. I had to close it down. The day I had that realization, December 1, 2019, was the day my identity shattered. I was in despair, lost my sense of purpose and direction, I was terrified for my future. Eventually my mind shifted and lucky for me it went straight to solution mode. I remember thinking to myself, “Okay, Jason, the doctors say this is going to be with you for the rest of your life, they say it can be manageble, and it’s not going to be easy. If you’re going to get through this and create a meaningful life, you have to confront your demons and face yourself fully, there’s no room for excess baggage on this trip.” I began learning about human behavior and neuroscience, decided to make meditation a daily practice – for real this time, learned about the impact of stress and anxiety on the human boday (spoiler-alert, it’s way worse than we all think and we’re not doing enough to reduce it), journaled daily – for real this time, and made my menal and emotional health my top priority.

One of the most valuable concepts I learned was that during times of sudden, drastic change, our brains are more maleable… they become wired to develop new behaviors and habits. With my identity shattered, I sought to rebuild it using only the pieces I wanted and making new ones where needed. I also decided that I was going to go all-in on this and fully trust-the-process.

The process was slow, painfully slow and frustrating. The majority of the next 2.5 years had me anxiously repeating a mantra, “I don’t know where this is taking me, but I know in my heart its the right thing.”

I began noticing and considering all the things that would light me up, make me feel alive, and inspire gratitude. While also noticing and considering all the things that drained me, made me feel hopeless, and induce depressive episodes. I deliberately add as much of the positive and shed as much as the negative as possible… the really big and the really small.

I became fueled with creativity, embracing a part of me that was so vibrant as a child but had been silenced in misguided attempts to fit in and feel accepted. During this time period, I explored many forms of creative expression, but all I could think about was the joy and fulfillment I’ve always gotten from photography.

My camera became my motivation for walking. Somedays it would be to the end of the street and back, others it would be further and more adventurous. I found myself pursuing something that gave me meaning and I was gradually reconditioning my body.

I became enthralled with finding beauty in the mundane, in the things and scenes was pass by everyday but have become blind to. I had to capture it. Then, I thought it would be really great to combine my photos with my favorite styles of art, pop and abstract. Through countless hours of trial and error, I began creating pieces that actually impressed me; that would stop me in my tracks were I walking through a gallery or saw it hung in someone’s home. It occured to me that for the first time, in a very long time, I was truly proud of myself. And so I decided to share it, and then I thought, “yeah, I think people would appreciate it enought to buy it.” And then I thought, “if I’m going to make a living expressing myself creatively, that would make me an artist, wouldn’t it?” This prospect was exhilirating, and I knew in my heart I had to go for it. I decided I was going to approach it like I did my mental and emotional health in 2019, I was going all-in, no Plan B, and I was going to trust the process fully and patiently. Then the avalanche of fear came, my mind exploring all the bad things that could happen, the potential humiliation, the return of hopelessness if it didn’t work out, being a loser in life. At the time, I felt and truly believed I was about to take the biggest risk of my life by betting on myself in such a big way. Not just betting that I could create something from nothing that was both meaningful to me and desireable by many others, or betting on my ability to execute, but trusting that I was willing to make the sacrifices necessary to make it all work and not knowing how long I’d have to make these sacrifices. It meant the potential uproot of my life… again. Starting over… again. Being a beginner… again… at 36 years old. These are the fears that made the decision to pursue life as an artist, the biggest risk I’ve ever taken. I’ve taken quite a few very big risks and lost in very big meaningful ways, but they didn’t feel that way.

I had all the evidence in the world to suggest that I could make this work, that I’ve always been an artist, I’m talented enough, and I’ve demonstrated that I could start and run a business. Why was did this feel scary on a whole new level? I think it’s because it felt (and still feels) like I can’t go back to the old ways for me. I think its because of the fear that if this doesn’t work out that I’ll have no choice but to take a job and live in such a way that destroys my health and soul. I fear being as lost and depressed as I was. So even the surest bet in the world for me, was once the biggest risk I’ve ever taken. It’s a little more than a year and a half since I announced to the universe that I’m an artist and made it my sole-source of income, it’s not easy, it’s not certain, it has incredible highs, and soul-searching lows. Now, I not only trust the process, but I also trust the evidence.

I’m still very young in my art career, but so far, I’ve never felt more fulfilled and optimistic about my future, ever. In retrospect, the biggest risk I’ve ever taken was the surest bet I could have ever made. Yet again, I find myself repeating the mantra, “I don’t know where this is taking me, but I know in my heart its the right thing.” But this time, its with excitement.

Jason, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I think you can pull alot from my first response, so I will touch on specific things not mentioned.

– My name is Jason Toth, I’m an artist
– Currently, I create Photographic Pop & Abstract Art that celebrates the beauty in the mundane world we so easily become blind to and take for granted.
– I have been heavily focused on capturing architecture, infrastructure, and landscape from the perspective of an abstract painter. Wassilly Kandinksy and Henri Matisse seem to be my biggest influences.
– While I discovered my digital editing process through trial and error, I’ve come to learn that the foundation is based in the process that astro-photographers use to colorize stars, nebulas, and galaxies, only I apply the technique to architecture and landscape.
– I discovered that having my art produced on sheets of aluminum, through a process called dye-sublimation, adds dimension, and a captivating nature that can only be experienced. I have yet to find the words.
– My primary focus has been the city of Cleveland, Ohio, but also have a variety of subjects ranging from New York City, LA, and National Parks to China and Greece.
– I sell my work online at www.jtoth.art as well as in my brick and mortar shop in Ohio City at a place called City Goods 1442 W 28th St, Cleveland, OH 44113 www.citygoodscle.com
– Clients may buy direct from my site or off the shelf at my store, they can also request custom sizes by contacting me [email protected] or www.jtoth.art/contact
– Clients may also commission artwork and can learn about commission on my website or contact me. I absolutely love commissions because I take time to really get to know them. At a minimum, I require a 90min conversation dedicated to learning about them. The work I create becomes very personal.
– My art is an expression of love and gratitude, and I seek to provide an experience to my clients that delivers on this from the moment they discover my art through hanging it on their wall and beyond.
– The art I’m creating now is intended to inspire joy, gratitude, and mindfulness.
– While I’m immensely proud that the art I create is financially supporting my life, I discovered a whole new level pride as I would learn that a person was buying my art to celebrate their engagement, the birth of their first child, moving into a new home, reward themselves for accomplishing a goal. Seeing people, adults, light up with the excitement of children as they see my art for the first time never gets old and fulfills me deeply. But when I see someone stopped dead in their tracks, when I witness them connect and become overwhelmed with emotion over the beauty they find in my art, that they tear up or cry… I feel whole. I feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. It’s one of the most beautiful gifts I have ever recieved.

What do you think is the goal or mission that drives your creative journey?

My mission is to find out what I’m capable of.

Can you share a story from your journey that illustrates your resilience?

My first response covers this.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.jtoth.art
• Instagram: @jtoth_art
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JTothArt/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jasontoth/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@jasontoth7
• Other: additional IG accounts:
  @mycolorfulcleveland
  @jtoth_ai