We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Cathy Laffan a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Cathy, thanks for taking the time to share your stories with us today It’s always helpful to hear about times when someone’s had to take a risk – how did they think through the decision, why did they take the risk, and what ended up happening. We’d love to hear about a risk you’ve taken.

I received a call that no one ever wants to receive, my Dad had been in an accident and broken his leg in three places requiring emergency surgery. At the time, my Dad was about 80 years old and living alone in Texas. I was living in Massachusetts, my two sisters were in Massachusetts, and my brother was living in Florida.

We worked together and decided that two of us would fly to Texas for Dad’s surgery and in-patient rehab. We took turns flying in and out of Texas to support my Dad. When I was with Dad, I asked him what he would do if he couldn’t care for himself. It became clear that he didn’t have a plan, wasn’t going to create one, and certainly wasn’t willing to relocate to Massachusetts or Florida.

My husband and I decided to take a big risk and relocate to Texas. We wanted to be with my Dad while we could still enjoy doing things with him, and support him as he aged and would need more care. My husband wasn’t happy in his job and was open to making a change. I had grown weary of Massachusetts weather and was open to new experiences. Relocating included selling our home in a horrible real estate market, both of us changing jobs, finding a new home, shipping my horse, and moving cross-country.

To get started, we decided that my husband would start looking for a job first. My Dad predicted that my husband wouldn’t be able to find a suitable job in the area. A Federal Government job in my Dad’s town was the first job my husband applied for, was offered, and accepted. The only slight downside was that they wanted him to start immediately and we weren’t ready. Well, ready or not, he flew to Texas, moved into a hotel, and we shipped one of our cars to Texas.

We worked with a friend and real estate agent to list our house for sale with a strategy to sell it quickly despite the horrible market. The house sold the first weekend it was for sale.

Next, I notified my boss that I would be resigning in about a month, and before I resigned I would start networking to find a job that would allow me to work remotely. Keep in mind, this was nine years before the pandemic and I worked in the financial services industry which didn’t have a track record for allowing people to work remotely full-time. My boss came to me the following day and told me he didn’t want me to resign and was willing to try remote working. He connected me with another employee who had already been working remotely as a resource. What did we have to lose? I was committed to making it work, and I did for twelve years and through four bosses right up until I left to start my own business, Cathy Laffan Coaching, LLC.

Reflecting on what we did, several factors made this risk worth taking and made us successful:

– Clarity – we were clear on why we wanted to take the risk for ourselves and my Dad.

– Meaning – taking the risk was very meaningful to me, my husband, my Dad, and my extended family. My Dad would have support when needed. My husband had the opportunity to improve his job situation. I had the opportunity to work remotely and help my Dad stay as independent as possible.

– Being open – we were open to new experiences.

– Options – we knew we had options for jobs, homes, and more.

– Flexibility – we were willing to be flexible and make choices that fulfilled most of what we wanted without getting hung up on things being perfect. My boss was flexible enough to allow me to work remotely on a trial basis to determine if it would be a viable solution long-term.

– Letting go – we were willing to let go of things in our life up to that point and move forward with new opportunities and experiences.

– Being comfortable not knowing – we got comfortable with not knowing all the answers before we took the risk, you’ll never know everything anyhow.

– Freedom – we found a great sense of freedom through the process of relocating.

Successfully taking this risk, with its hiccups and lessons, started a new chapter of our lives and gave us the confidence to take other risks. The next big risk I took was leaving a successful 30+ year career in financial services, resturning to school, and ultimately becoming a Life Coach and entrepreneur with my own business.

What’s preventing you from taking a risk be it life-changing or not?

Cathy, love having you share your insights with us. Before we ask you more questions, maybe you can take a moment to introduce yourself to our readers who might have missed our earlier conversations?

I thought I was succeeding in life; I had a wonderful life partner, a great career, I was caring for my elderly father, I had a comfortable home, and more. Why did I feel drained, restless, and dissatisfied? Was I just ungrateful or was something else going on?

To chase away my negative feelings, I read self-help articles and books and ate comfort foods. I found it uncomfortable to be around friends, so I withdrew. I tried pretending to be happy and hoped that someday it would feel real, you know the “fake it until you make it” approach. All of this still left me feeling drained, restless, and dissatisfied. I also felt like a failure since nothing I tried actually worked. I discussed my feelings with my doctor and was offered a prescription drug that I didn’t want. The drug would just mask my symptoms which I was already doing with comfort food and wine! I wanted to find and address the real issue.

I believed that feeling drained came from me being overweight, not eating healthy foods, and not exercising regularly. When did this happen? This wasn’t me at all. I decided that I needed help.

I stumbled on a coach while taking my Dad to the doctor. At the time I didn’t really understand the concept of coaching. I just knew that the other approaches I tried didn’t work or weren’t for me. My intuition told me that I needed what this coach was offering so I went for it. From the start of our first meeting and throughout our partnership, he created a safe place for me to share all my fears, feelings, and desires. He listened to me, offered observations, asked questions, reflected my thoughts back to me, and allowed me time to think and process what we discussed. He helped me gain clarity, create actions, and ultimately find the best path forward for me. What he didn’t do was tell me how he would handle the situation, he didn’t advise me, he didn’t mentor me, and he didn’t try to fix me.

Although I believed that my weight was my big issue, it turned out that there was a lot more going on. I really wasn’t satisfied with my career anymore. My Dad’s care-giving needs were overwhelming for me and my husband. I had a form of insomnia creating fatigue. Menopause was wreaking havoc with my body contributing to weight gain, insomnia, and bone density issues. Through the partnership with my coach and my doctor, I found the best approach for me to address all of my issues. I found my way back to health in body, mind, and spirit.

Gaining clarity helped me to realize that I wanted to take my values, strengths, and experiences and use them in service to others through coaching. I took another big leap forward; I went to coaching school, decided to start my own coaching business, and left my corporate career.

Now I am a certified Coach and motivational speaker. Clients who partner with me are more energetic to face daily challenges and ready to reach for their deepest ambitions.

I am most proud of partnering with my clients in one-to-one coaching. I provide personalized, caring, safe coaching sessions where people can express their desires and fears, discover what may be holding them back, clarify what’s important, and identify opportunities. My clients stretch for more than they thought possible and ultimately become more resourceful and resilient.

Clients who choose me as their coach are likely to be:

– Miserable at work and can’t figure out how to make it better:

– Overwhelmed by caregiving, their job, or life and can’t see a path forward to a more balanced, richer life

– Want to be more energized and healthy but can’t imagine how to make it happen on top of all their other responsibilities

– Facing a life transition (e.g. empty nest, divorce, menopause, retirement, relocation, and more) and feel stuck and unable to move forward

I am also proud of my motivational speaking which allows me to connect with groups of people to share my knowledge, energy, and optimism, and often introduce them to the concept of life coaching for the first time. I speak on a range of well-being topics including; sleep, nutrition, physical activity, mindfulness, and menopause.

It’s important to me that I continue to learn, grow, have new experiences, and give back to others. I am grateful to many people who gave me their time, mentorship, and support throughout my life and career. I continuously grow my coaching abilities through education and experience. I am a member of the Authenticship.com pro-bono, low-bono coaching network which provides access to coaching for people who wouldn’t otherwise have access. I am also Vice President of the Helping Horse Therapeutic Programs Board of Directors and a volunteer on their farm in Wendell, NC.

Learning and unlearning are both critical parts of growth – can you share a story of a time when you had to unlearn a lesson?

Most of my 30+ year career was in project management for a global financial services company. Over the years, I became skilled, knowledgable, resourceful, and had a reputation for getting things done. In essence, I felt like an expert and I was very comfortable being someone other people came to for help.

I had to unlearn this “expert” mindset and nurture a “beginner” mindset which I found challenging.

As I shifted to my coaching career and started my own business, I was absolutely a “beginner” in those areas. I often felt uncomfortable not knowing things, needing help from others, studying, taking exams, and having my new skills observed, evaluated, and realizing that I had a lot to learn.

This is something I continue to work on. I am grateful for the friendship and “buddy” relationship I developed with another coach during coaching school. We meet regularly, push each other over hurdles, and hold out a hand to pull each other up when needed. These types of relationships are critical for solo entrepreneurs.

I remind myself often that what’s important is progress, not perfection. I am in a unique place in my coaching and business journey so I refrain from comparing myself to others.

Are there any books, videos, essays or other resources that have significantly impacted your management and entrepreneurial thinking and philosophy?

When I started working remotely full-time during my corporate career, I found the book “Uniting the Virtual Workforce” by Karen Sobel Lojeski and Richard R. Reilly to be a critical resource. The book introduces the concept of “Virtual Distance” which includes; Affinity Distance, Physical Distance, and Operational Distance.

The most critical component for successful virtual relationships is “Affinity Distance”. This was a key learning point for me and helped me navigate existing relationships that shifted from in-person to virtual and develop new relationships virtually.

I continue to leverage the concepts and tools from this book given that my coaching business is mostly virtual and most of my entrepreneurial network is based on virtual relationships.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://cathylaffancoaching.com
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cathy-laffan/
• Other: Client success stories -https://img1.wsimg.com/blobby/go/19d05dfe-e0ba-45f5-a46d-eb4969897865/downloads/Success%20Stories.pdf?ver=1723572165471

  My blog – https://cathylaffancoaching.com/blog

Image Credits

I took all the photos myself.