We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Lauren Heide a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Lauren , thanks for joining us, excited to have you contributing your stories and insights. We’d love to hear the backstory behind a risk you’ve taken – whether big or small, walk us through what it was like and how it ultimately turned out.
In April 2018, I decided to take a risk and pursue something that had been burning in the back of my mind for a while and quickly became a burning passion of mine. I flew to Seattle and attended the Doulas of North America (DONA) training to become a certified doula. In July 2018, my daughter was born. A birth that was quite traumatic involving multiple surgeries, CT-scans, many rounds of antibiotics, extended hospital stays, an open surgical wound and a specialized wound care nurse. During this time, I recovered and got to navigate this new motherhood journey.
Between January and March of 2019, I was able to complete my three required births and eventually finished up all the requirements for full DONA certification in December. The following month, my daughter was enrolled in childcare and I was able to launch of doula business!
March 2020… we all know what happened in March of 2020. As the doulas in town slowly stopped taking clients, I was still running at the opportunity. I didn’t have many clients those first two years but if anyone would inquire, I wouldn’t say no. I figured if the doctors, nurses, CNA’s, cleaning crews were all at the hospital, I could be too. I was supporting first time moms who were solo parents. Moms whose partners couldn’t be at the birth because they needed to be home with their other children and the COVID restrictions wouldn’t allow the whole family to be there just one support person. Enter me.
I took a giant risk by being on the front line, so to speak. I started a business, in the medical field, two months before the world shut down due to a global pandemic. If that isn’t risk, I don’t know what is.
Lauren , before we move on to more of these sorts of questions, can you take some time to bring our readers up to speed on you and what you do?
Let’s start with what IS a doula? The term Doula is an ancient Greek term meaning “a female helper”. However, over time this meaning has changed a little, and is currently more accurate to be described as a trained support person who provides non-medical support prenatally, during labor and delivery, and in the postpartum period to the birthing person and their family. Think of a doula as your personal birth coach!
I got into this business because there was a nagging voice in the back of my head that told me this is what I should do. But for many years I didn’t listen. I made sure that I had a steady job, a “real” job, benefits, etc. but any job I did never satisfied me or made me feel like I was doing what I was meant to do. Until I got pregnant and lost my job. I suppose we could say it was an “ah-ha” moment of clarity. I told my husband that I wanted to be a doula and that I would be good at it. I would make it work. So he helped me figure out training, when to do it, where to do etc.
Since my first birth in Jan 2019 I have supported 67 families to date in our small rural city in SE Alaska. I don’t know if that’s a lot or a little I just know that that is 67 families that have had a strong foundational start to parenthood and I fully believe that your parenting foundation starts with your birth story. If you have a more positive experience, supported experience in labor and delivery; where you felt heard, seen and empowered, you will have a better outcome as a parent. If we start our parenting journey off on a negative foot with a traumatic experience; that will most likely be our story as parents. Support a birthing person and their partner during labor and delivery as her birth experience unfolds.
As a doula, my job is to NOT prevent C-sections, avoid epidurals or pain meds, second guess the doctors and nurses (in front of the client) or run the room. I know research shows that having a doula present means you are less likely to want an epidural, you are less likely to have a C-section, you are less likely to have trauma, and you are more likely to enjoy the experience, feel empowered and in control. Seen and heard. And to know you will be able to look back on your birth journey and say: “Damn. That was crazy but I’m amazing!”
THAT is what having a doula is for.
My job is to support, advocate, hold, space, discuss and educate what is happening, and to ensure that the birthing person and their partner make the decision that they want to make, and what they feel is the best care for them.
If that means that they opt for an epidural or another form of pain medication, that’s their choice and it’s ok. If that means that a C-section is necessary for a healthy outcome for mom and baby, that’s their choice and it’s ok. If that means they want to throw out their birth wishes and go a different route, that’s their choice and it’s ok. I will be there to guide, support and hold that space with ZERO judgement, embarrassment/shame or any feelings that may cause them to feel less than.
What sets me apart is that I’m a chameleon of sorts. I become what my clients needs specifically for them and who they are. I keep the space fun while at the same time keeping them feel safe.
What I am most proud of is that I have been the only doula in my city for the last 4 years. It wasn’t until the spring of 2023 that another woman wanted to become a doula. She was a past client of mine too. This is where the birth of my doula agency was born. Bringing her on was a way to keep us from “competing” with each other. It was a way for us to be working together to get more clients and support more families in our community. It was a way for ME to have doula community. I had been doing this alone from the start for so long that I didn’t even realize I needed a work community. I didn’t really fit in anywhere though. The doctor’s offices were their own place and even though they all supported me and advocated for their patients to hire a doula, I wasn’t a part of their team. The OB unit loved having me during labors but again, I wasn’t a part of the unit or hospital… I was a lone soldier. On an island alone. Thinking I can do this alone until someone came along and I realized how desperately I needed community. My vision for my agency is that we doulas have a space to go to process births, learn from one another, hold continuing education courses, monthly meet ups, holiday parties, have each other for back up and to lift each other up rather than try to compete.
What do you think helped you build your reputation within your market?
Showing up for each and every client. Saying ‘yes’ to anyone inquiring about my services and most importantly, proving to our prenatal medical community that there is power and value to having a doula in a labor and delivery room. To be able to have the doctors in this town know me, advocate for me and call me themselves when they know one of their patients needs a doula, has been a huge value to my reputation and business.
When I walk in to the OB unit at our local hospital and the OB staff – RN’s, CNA’s, and even cleaning staff – all light up and feel genuinely excited to see me and know that I am there to support one of their patients; is huge!
There is a negative narrative out there in the birthing community in the US and I can only assume around the globe, that says “doulas are only for people who want a ‘natural’ birth (don’t get me started on the term “natural” for birth. OR do…) and that we will advise our clients against medical advise”. Honestly, it’s because there are doulas out there who are like that and personally, that is dangerous. We are not medical providers and never will be. We are support people who happen to have a wee bit more medical knowledge than our clients about labor and delivery. Therefore we can be a translator of sorts for our clients when it comes to medical terminology etc. But our main focus is supporting our client, ensuring that they are understanding of what is going on with their labor, what the options are, what the medical team is talking about and that our clients feel empowered, in control of their decision making, seen and supported. I’m not there to test the knowledge of the medical team, they went to med school, nursing school, passed boards and obtained licenses… not me. I have been known to speak up when a patient isn’t being spoken to well by a provider. I will gently address bad bedside manor, I will pull a provider aside outside of the patient room and inquire about why they said this or that and offer maybe a better insight to why the patient was wanting X,Y,Z because I have the unique perspective of knowing the patient more than the provider or nurse do because I’ve been spending time getting to know them and their partner prenatally. We’ve built a relationship – and that insight should be extremely valuable to a medical provider. Ones that want to give the patient the best care, that is.
All this to say, I have shown all the doctors and midwives who provide obstetric care to our community, that a doula – at least myself – is very valuable to the patient and to the medical team and that is what helped build my reputation within my market. Just being me and being good at it.
Let’s talk about resilience next – do you have a story you can share with us?
This is going to be long. Need to tell a story in order to tell my story.
A story of resilience as a doula. We all know that terrible things can happen with pregnancy, labor and delivery. And classically, we all think it won’t happen to us but it happened to a client of mine and therefore happened to me. Amniotic fluid embolism (AFE). A rare occurrence in birth, about 1 in 40,000 in the US experience this. It happens when amniotic fluid or fetal cells enter the bloodstream of the mother and it causes life-threatening complications, such as heart failure.
Last fall, 2023, my client had been in labor for about 14 hours. After their water broke they experienced AFE. I was there. I watched it all unfold. I saw an emergency bedside cesarean while chest compressions were being administered to the mother. I remember right after her water broke she was glowing. She had this aura about her. It sounds strange but she was truly glowing all around her head. It was faint but it was there. I even snapped a picture of her talking to her doctor while the aura was there but didn’t capture it. It was the last picture taken of her alive. It’s really strange to think about being the person who took the last picture of someone before they are no longer living. Mere moments before… I can’t get rid of that picture. It sits on my phone forever.
The doctors worked tirelessly on her for quite a few hours until they got her stable enough to move her from the OB unit to ICU. From there they had to work round the clock to get her stable enough for medevac flight out of our tiny rural landlocked city to a much larger city with a more equipped ICU. She needed to be stable enough to fly from Juneau to Anchorage. About a 600 mile flight. Once she got to Anchorage, they got her stable enough to remove her from anesthesia that was keeping her asleep but she never woke up. She passed away peacefully three weeks after the AFE incident.
I’m not a medical provider. I’m not a nurse or a CNA. I’m a support person for people going through a medical process – essentially I’m not used to seeing people die. Let alone a friend and client. It was so surreal to see her talking, then gasping for air, turning blue (like you hear about) and then witnessing life saving measures most of us don’t even know exist because they aren’t a part of our every day life. This all happened on a Friday but the following Wednesday I was already supporting another client in labor just down the hall from where my other client lost her life, essentially. I should also add that exactly one hour earlier at 7:05pm I had been with another client, directly next door, helping her delivery her baby. Doesn’t happen often that I am with two clients at once but it’s possible. I went from one healthy, happy, what we would call “normal” labor to a life taking one. All in the span of one hour.
Here we are nine months later, 21 other pregnant people I’ve supported during labor and delivery, 11 more currently pregnant for the year 2024 and already contracting clients for 2025. I just keep swimming, as Dory would say. I find myself sitting in that fateful room – I’ve had other successful deliveries in that room since. I see this client every time I’m in that room. She’s smiling and supporting each woman cross the threshold into parenthood for the first time or again.
I’ve seen doulas quit this line of work for far lesser reasons. Albeit those are their reasons and I’m not here to judge but watching someone die when they should be thriving as a new mother – is reason enough to throw in the towel. Yet I keep going. This moment really helped me to see that I am on the right path and I am doing what I am meant to do. I am emotionally built to support people through major transitional events in their life.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.babybeandoula.com
- Instagram: babybeandoula
- Facebook: babybeandoula
- Other: Google business: Baby Bean Doula
doulamatch.net: Baby Bean Doula
Image Credits
Images titled “LH – Pro image 1-6” were taken by Katie Coblentz of KC Photography
Images 4R1B4228, 4R1B4267 were taken by Sydney Akagi of Sydney Akagi Photography
Image titled “LH – Pro image 7” was taken by me, Lauren Heide